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Chapter 1: What is the main topic of The Big Suey episode?
Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings! The crown is yours. You guys think you're cute. Not so cute today. Tried to catch it.
Chapter 2: How does Zaslow's sandwich-making become a topic of discussion?
Not so cute this morning.
Should have waited a little longer. Just wait it out. Just see how long it takes them.
So the NFL combine's going on right now. It's like, who cares?
Did you see Reuben Bain sucks?
Well, I told... Small arms. Yeah, he's a bad football player now. Hold on, hold on.
The photoshopping of his arms.
I saw that one.
I was like, what?
That's so good. Okay, good, because I saw a picture, and I'm like, there's no way that's real. So there is a photoshop one out there, right?
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Chapter 3: What insights do the hosts share about the NFL Combine?
Wouldn't you agree, Dave? If you're a coach. Sound counsel. You should pay attention. If you're a coach and your team sucks, you've got to pay attention to the combine. Well, what it shows is that the combine is outmoded in a lot of ways. I mean, it is pretty obvious beyond a tell at this point. The Jags and Rams don't attend. A lot of people have pulled back.
A lot of teams have pulled back the number of people that they put out there. There are other methods to evaluate these guys that are better. And what you'll learn is obviously it's a face-to-face, press-to-flesh opportunity with your peers and the larger community of football people along with meeting these prospects. But what matters ultimately is the tape. And football teams understand that.
The tape is what matters. Well, would you agree, thoughā more than how fast they run the three-cone drill. Okay, but would you agree that if you're a coach of a bad team, and in this case, let's say the team is the Jets, and let's say the coach is Aaron Glenn.
All right. Oh, man. Y'all not going to do this to my guy, man.
I didn't do anything to him.
All right. No one did anything to him.
Viral decontextualization. How dare you show what he did? Viral decontextualization. How dare I show what he did on national television? Coach Glenn, hit me up.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about viral decontextualization in sports?
I will take care of you. Maybe it was just a long blink. Wouldn't you assume if you're a coach of a bad team attending the NFL Combine, probably not the place or the time to fall asleep? That's right. It's usually a cabinet meeting. So you'll hear Rich Eisen, he's on the broadcast, you know, for NFL Network, and he's talking about players here who are doing very, very fun stuff at the Combine.
But Aaron Glenn, they show on camera, he would rather get in a schluff.
So Daniel Jeremiah's top 50 prospects as Aaron Glenn looks on for the Jets. Not looking. Fernando Mendoza won. Who am I a love who will also see on Saturday here on NFL Network, the running back from Notre Dame, too.
I mean, Dave, very quickly, someone was a coach on screen and he popped up, opened his eyes, started looking around to make sure that I'm awake. It's very funny in that in that cutaway and everything else. But Mike Ryan just said it all. I mean, if I'm a Jets fan, if I'm a New Yorker, am I supposed to get real worked up about this?
There are other people who fall asleep and things that you might make a case are more important. The combine is a great napping sport. It seems like it's a good one. It's like watching golf. Also, if I'm a Jets fan, I'm already resigned to the fact that Aaron Glenn's probably around for one more season anyway, so I can't really work myself up all that much.
You ever been to a combine, any of you guys? You have, right? Sure, sure. Do you watch every single minute?
I don't. Coming at me about how raw I am about Aaron Glenn taking a nap? I just told you I don't care that much. People go to the Combine to network. It's like summer leave. I just said. All right. What matters more is. I'm not attacking you. We're on your side. We're on your side. Hey, let us park our car in your garage.
Why are you closing the garage door?
Let us. That's the sound of the garage going up. It's open now. Come on in. We're trying to defend you. Okay, but I mean, that's not the question. Do you only watch the Combine if you're there? The question is, do you only watch Combine? And if you're not only watching the Combine, do you decide to fall asleep?
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Chapter 5: What humorous anecdotes are shared about waking up in public?
I will always be a champion defending the weak and the undertrodden about these viral decontextualized videos. Stop it. Stop it, America!
I'm more interested in just where the worst places to wake up are. Because I would argue on live TV is pretty high up there in terms of the worst places to wake up.
I'll tell you what killed him. If he had just woke up and just slatted it up, the fervent, like the feverish checking of... How long was I out? No, no, look right here. Yeah, the stumble. All right, here we go. Here we go. And coach, coach. Coach, you're on TV. No, no, I wasn't asleep. Oh, no, no. I'm very alert. Run the whole thing because he looks around. He looks around.
It's like, is the camera here? I'm very alert. I couldn't be more awake. See that? That looked to the right.
The worst place to wake up is on public transportation after you missed your stop.
That's a bad one, yeah. I would argue waking up on the highway. Like you're driving to work in the morning and you're like, oh, that's worse. Like Beatrix Kiddo did wouldn't be any good in Kill Bill 2. By the way, Football America movie episode coming at you in just an hour or two from now. Guests, Amin and Zaz, and we do a Tarantino character draft among other important exercises.
Don't plug until you can make sure the guests are there.
You were there! We already did it, remember? I just wanted to make sure. Did you fall asleep? Did you Aaron Glenn that show? Maybe. Me and Zazz were doing a lot of the talking. I will tell the audience we recorded that show. We had a lot of fun with Quentin Tarantino. He was my favorite. We had a lot of fun with Quentin Tarantino movies. I mean, Rachel Nichols outed me.
We had a lot of fun with that episode yesterday, and I highly recommend watching today's episode of Football America. I would love to do that again, just Just talk about Quentin Tarantino movies. Are you kidding me?
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts discuss the significance of wing flavors?
I'm alert. It's because someone yelled at him. Why are you so invested in defending this behavior?
Two reasons. One, because I'm a champion for viral decontextualization dismantling. That's number one. But number two is because when I was in college, The semester, I was like, I gotta get my shit together. I'm gonna, you know what? None of these late classes go to early morning classes. I had poly-sci, 7.30 a.m.
I said, I'm gonna be there, and I'm gonna be attentive, and I'm gonna get good grades or whatever. And so the first couple of, of classes I would go, and I would kinda doze off sometimes, and then there was a class where I dozed off in the middle of class, and it's one of those, it's Poli Sci 101, so it's like 300 students, massive auditorium. I woke up, the entire auditorium
was empty save for three or four students at the front who are waiting to talk to the professor and so and i'm sitting in the middle the middle so basically all around me 360 were students getting up and collecting their things 300 of them leaving did not stir all i felt was a drool a pool of drool on my shoulder and i never i never went back to that class again
See, that's what I was just going to say. I never ran into problems like that because I didn't go to the classes in the first place. Okay, is it worse? Okay, so worst places to wake up after dozing off. After dozing off, excuse me. Is that worse? And we just saw Aaron Glenn do it at the Combine. To me, the classic, all right, Mike Francesa, sports pope, WFAN New York, on Yes Network.
This has got to be like a dozen years ago, I would say.
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Chapter 7: What is the story behind Zaslow's tuna sandwich for Mike Ryan?
A dozen, maybe, yeah, about a dozen years ago. And here is, for the audio audience, Mike Francesa. It's on TV. It's on Yes Network. He has Sweeney Murdy, who is a Yankees reporter, on the phone with him. And Mike is listening and very clearly falls asleep live on television. You know, the Yankees took care of them pretty good, if I remember, in the end of that season.
There was a three-game set, I think, at Fenway, another one at the Yankee Stadium, which they just kind of walked right through. But otherwise, the late-season series... Look, look, look, see the shoulders getting weaker. It's a very long page. Oh, he's out right now, for sure. The page is very wide, too. Uh-oh!
Uh-oh!
is part of this. The Yankees have been a little affected by the 10 pitchers lately. I'm going to face two of them in this series. So no matter what the rest of the team looks like, if the pitchers hold the Yankees down, you could be looking at a game where they might lose 3-4-1. All right. We're talking with Sweeney, obviously. That is my all time. Obviously. That is my all time favorite.
I don't like to work blue, but I do have at least one pal that I can think of who has he actually he says he fell asleep in coitus. But then I've heard of the the other way happening. Yeah, I don't think you ever fell asleep.
Yeah.
So they both fell asleep mid-corner? You may look at me and be surprised to hear this. I happen to be a vigorous lovemaker, so that would never happen to me.
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with reflections on friendships?
Put that in the club. But if that did happen to you, I don't know that you ever come back. Didn't we decide earlier in the week that no one calls it making love? That's not true. You're right. You're right. I'm trying to bring it back or try to make it a thing now. We said no one asks someone else to make love.
Oh, yeah, right.
But you can be, as Damoshek says, a vigorous lovemaker. That's the time. Thank you. That's one of the two things everybody knows about you, a vigorous lovemaker?
We do.
That I'm a world champion Connect Four player, yeah. Where do you start in the middle? Where do you throw first one? In the middle? You go wide? Where do you start? Sure, yeah. Down the middle? I like to go wide. Well, that's a mistake, and you would lose very quickly. I bet you put the X in the middle and tic-tac-toe also. Yeah. No, that's not the correct strategy.
But either way, just so you know, should you and I ever find the occasion to play Connect Four, I only now play recreationally. I retired some years ago. There was nothing left for me to achieve in the sport that gave me a lot. And I felt that it was disrespectful for me to press on at something less than my best. I gave... I gave everything I had and more to the sport, and it did a lot for me.
I'll play it. I'll do exhibitions, like I said.
What did it do for you? Spoken like a true goat because I know every time Michael Jordan plays basketball, he just says, oh, yeah, I don't really do this anymore. This is just for fun. I don't care if you beat me. That's not how goats speak. Goats say, I don't care if I'm in a wheelchair.
You know Michael Jordan will still kill you, though, right? Exactly. That's right.
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