My Husband and His Brother Got in a Fistfight Over Me
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How did a family brawl impact the holidays?
Like they did a duel? Like for your heart or affection? What happened?
No. So the backstory is this. My husband and I have been together 10 years, married five. Um, roughly about five or six years ago, his brother started to act like I didn't exist in the world. Um, in the beginning when it happened, I kind of thought, well, maybe he was having a bad day, but then it continued to happen.
Um, and something happened to precipitate this or he just started ignoring you.
He just started ignoring me. Nothing happened pre this, um, in the years before this happened. Um, And I would bring it up to my husband as like, hey, did you see that too? And he's not a confrontational person. So sometimes he'd be like, well, he didn't say hi to me either. But it started to get where it was more obvious and obvious. Years would go by, I would say something.
What triggered the conflict between the husband and brother?
And then I got to my threshold and basically told my husband he needs to say something because it's his brother. And so they did it at Thanksgiving last year. And when my husband confronted him, his brother said some very rude things about me. And so my husband punched him. And then that turned into a verbal argument for about 30 minutes that I too also engaged with because his wife jumped in and started to attack my husband. And I wasn't going to let that happen. Pretty much. That's how it felt. And then since that, like we left, His brother said some very mean things about me. He called me a lot of names. We've unfortunately had four miscarriages, and he threw that in my face and said we didn't lose anything. We didn't lose any babies. And when he said that, I thought my husband was really going to murder him. Yeah, fair enough, dude. went into complete like anger rage. And I've never, my husband is a very laid back person. I've never seen him like that ever.
Was it kind of hot?
Um, yeah, a little bit. I told him afterwards, I was like, geez, it's nice to see the fight in you.
I knew it. I knew it.
But since then, you know, obviously we left and everybody's emotions were very high. Um, we, a week or two later went and went back to my, cause it's happened at my aunt's house. We went there and had a conversation with them and apologized to them about, like, what happened because it's still their home. And, you know, we kind of just told them then, like, we don't want to be around him. We don't want to see him. We don't want to be around their family. And, you know, everybody, meaning my in-laws and my sister-in-law, who was also there, they all wanted to have this big conversation and this big meeting and have a family meeting, but it never happened. And this literally got swept under the rug and no one since then has brought it up.
Yeah. So this is simple. Your husband calls your brother. I mean, your husband calls his brother.
Okay.
It's two grown men. They got into it. Um, and there can be a thousand different reasons, like different opinions or whatever. Um, He calls his brother and says, are we cool? And are you going to honor and respect my wife or no? And if not, then the family is choosing and the family chooses to have him over. They're choosing to not have you guys over. Okay. It's that simple.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
How did a family brawl impact the holidays?
1:22–2:12
2
What triggered the conflict between the husband and brother?
2:12–6:48
3
How should I handle family dynamics after a fight?
6:48–9:42
4
What are the implications of unresolved family conflict?
9:42–15:22
5
How can I support my partner after a traumatic event?
15:22–17:51
6
What are effective strategies for dealing with difficult family members?
17:51–23:48
7
How do we navigate future family gatherings after conflict?
23:48–42:09