Your body thinks your creative dreams are dangerous.
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What subconscious patterns lead to self-sabotage?
So I'm specifically talking in this episode to the woman that can't seem to get a project off the ground. And you keep expanding and then you hide and you contract and you expand and then you hide and then you contract. OK, if you feel like you are in survival mode. and your nervous system is dysregulated, you cannot create. You can, but it's gonna be coming from a very shallow pool, and you're gonna be borrowing from your future self. And in today's episode, that's what we're talking about. We are talking about expansion and creating adjustment in your life so that you can increase your comfort zone So that it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger so that you feel safe in your body everywhere you go.
Okay, let's get into it.
What the fuck? Good fucking morning. This is not a glitch in the simulation. This is not a glitch in the matrix. I have not moved back to London. I have just found the exact same shade of pink that I had in my London home, and I have painted my walls in the same color. And I could not be fucking happier to be in my pink room. I wrote a post-it note to myself before moving to LA, about six months before I moved to LA, that said something like, all I need is a small pink room and just hours to create my own things. That's all I need. A small pink room, space to dance, space to create, and that's me sorted, all right? That's my version of Virginia Woolf's famous, a room of one's own. I'm so fucking back.
Like I feel amazing. I feel like I'm ready to take up space again in a different way just because my room is pink. And that's kind of what I wanna talk about with you today is how you actually need safety in order to expand. Your body needs to feel safe calm, relaxed, regulated in order to expand. And so if you try to expand too quickly, right, and you try to quantum leap, I was obsessed with quantum leaping. If you don't do the nervous system work, and almost coach yourself on the way, feeling safe on the way through your expansion, you will experience expansion backlash and it will almost be too much to handle all at once. And your body will return to its old coping mechanisms to get you back to a place of safety.
How can we create a sense of safety in our bodies?
And if you haven't yet updated the software for those coping mechanisms, right? So maybe yours is binge eating, drinking, picking your skin. That was my one. Scrolling on social media, whatever your... thing is that you use to regulate yourself and almost pulls you back into your bad habits that thing is gonna like it's gonna fucking it's gonna it's gonna come up because you weren't ready for this much expansion and so you actually need to create the feeling of safety in your body almost microdosing safety in order to fully expand and become the woman of your dreams Otherwise, you'll always end up in these cycles of expanding and then shrinking again, expanding and then contracting again. And while that's almost unavoidable, because you'll always do some sort of version of that, right?
Like we're human beings, we crave safety. You will never not crave safety. You just need to find ways to. to regulate yourself that don't involve fucking up your goals, babes. Find ways of regulating yourself intentionally so that your subconscious doesn't have to step in and create a bunch of situations in your life that you don't want in order to get you to slow down, in order to regulate you. My ego and my identity for so long has been all about my output, being a high achiever. I push out a book like every two years. I'm such a high output, high energy person. And my ego could not handle the fact that I need rest, okay? I didn't consciously know this, but I was suppressing my desire for rest and relaxation for so long because a lot of my identity and my ego is tied up in what I'm able to achieve.
I love achieving things and I'm fucking good at it. So then when you sort of master this game of achievement and creative output, the idea of resting just felt like, what do you even mean rest? What do you even, I don't need to rest, I'm fine.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What subconscious patterns lead to self-sabotage?
0:00–3:48
2
How can we create a sense of safety in our bodies?
3:48–18:30
3
Why is microdosing safety important for expansion?
18:30–24:50
4
What happens when we try to expand too quickly?
24:50–26:17
5
How do old coping mechanisms resurface during expansion?
26:17–28:10
6
What role does self-awareness play in personal growth?
28:10–40:31