The rise of eating alone
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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I live on my own some of the time, I travel alone and it's really quite difficult to eat out when you're alone, travelling alone or just no one to go out with. This is The Food Chain from the BBC World Service with me, Ruth Alexander, and today it's all about eating alone. Thanks to Melanie in Salford in North West England who emailed thefoodchain at bbc.co.uk. I listen to the programme regularly and you did say on the programme, if you've got something that you think we could look into, they email in. When you are alone for a long period, sometimes you just don't want to sit at home looking at the four walls, you know, you want to get out and eat something a bit different or you don't really want to cook, you know, so you think, OK, I'm going to go out and I do it and it has various issues.
When I started to think over that and then I had a list then, there's this, there's this... So it really kind of grew into quite a long list of... you know, different things that impact you if you have to eat alone for whatever reasons. What's top of the list? I think walking into somewhere, a restaurant or cafe, sitting down on your own and just waiting for someone to come over and they come and look at you and think, they're looking at the empty chair, they don't usually say anything. And then say, okay, and then sort of, they're probably not, but I think, oh, they're walking away thinking, why is she on her own? You know, how come she's not got anybody with her? And It's a bit uncomfortable, but I just have to push through that.
So that's kind of the hardest step to do I decide to go and sit down on my own somewhere and order food. And sometimes in an English pub, say, you have to find a table, get the table number and then go to the bar to order. Well, that's very difficult if you're alone. You know, what do you do? You leave your bag behind? No, of course not. Sometimes leave a jacket on a chair and then come back and someone sat on my table. And, you know, so that's that's the hardest part, I think, just sitting down. I have to say my sort of personal limit is I tend to prefer to be outside and If I'm eating alone on a beer garden or a terrace or something like that, going inside feels like a very different thing to me. To walk inside somewhere alone would feel very intimidating.
Why do you think that is? Um... I don't know. You've got to cross that threshold and go inside, haven't you? And there was one occasion in not long after COVID and it was everybody was outdoors and I sat down at a table and it was a table for four. It was just me and he refused to serve me. He said, you can't sit there on your own. We've got to keep the table for a big group of people. And he sent me away. So that was that was quite hurtful. But sometimes I'll go and sit down and be OK, I can do this. You know, it's fine. Nothing wrong with it. And sometimes I think, you know what, I just don't want to do that today and I'll just go home and eat. So, you know, it just depends on the mood I'm in and, you know, just what I'm feeling like in that moment.
What do you think people are thinking when they see you sitting at a table on your own? Honestly, I think they're probably looking at me thinking, oh, what's the matter with her? Why hasn't she got any friends? You know, what's wrong with you that you're on your own? But more than likely, they couldn't care less and don't even notice really. Sometimes the waiters will give you a bit of a, you know, a sidelong glance and But, you know, I just think, so what? But yeah, I know nobody's interested in me, but I just imagine it, you know.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–5:27
2
How does Melanie describe the anxiety of dining out alone?
5:27–10:34
3
What practical social challenges do solo diners face when entering restaurants or pubs?
10:34–22:22
4
What global trends does Professor Erik Klinenberg identify behind more people living and eating alone?
22:22–28:59
5
How do cultural differences affect attitudes to solo dining in places like Tokyo, Delhi and Nigeria?
28:59–29:17