The MONDAY Show: Simping for Bob Dole
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What are the hosts’ plans for today’s Monday Show and why did the original plan fall through?
It's a Monday, and we're here to do Monday things.
What were you talking about?
We're here to do Monday things. I'm Scott Johnson with some Monday things, and that's Carter Johnson with some also Monday things.
Probably.
Really?
Yeah.
What do you mean probably?
I mean what I what
w Carter's shorting out.
We're doing great today.
Somebody call the police.
A good day.
Uh, no, we're here. We we're a little late. Um I had some stuff pop up that I just needed some time for. Oh yeah, I was
wondering 'cause you just text me, you're like, Can we I wasn't specific with you,
was I? Sorry.
No, real cryptic.
Two couple of things I had to do. They're done now, I don't have to think about 'em. And here we are
two hours
later, but still on Monday.
I'm fine with it. I had so much to do today.
Yeah, I knew you were busy.
Yeah, it let me keep my pace before taking a break.
When uh C when can you tell people what you've been working on all this time?
Um, let's look at the calendar. Eighteenth, right? The eighteenth, which means that the twenty fourth will be the first Monday.
So not even next Monday, but the Monday after?
You're not gone till the twenty s
I'm not to gone till the very end of the month.
Yeah. Twenty fourth. I'll be able to talk on here about it. I'll probably share it in the Discord and such.
I'm very interested in talking about it out loud so I don't have to
talk to myself
anymore. It's very exciting. You
don't even know anything. I
I know enough to know it's exciting.
Yeah, that's fun.
I don't know much else. Carter's kinda kept everything from everybody.
I've been real I've been real
Cryptic.
Yeah, cryptic.
She's a cipher. We have to I signed an
NDA.
Decipher. Is this your first NDA?
Yeah. Ever in my life.
I've done Three NDAs total in my life. I've done
some projects that probably should have had NDA.
I'm still under one. Yeah. There's still one I'm not allowed to say anything about. I don't know when that ends. I should probably check.
You have to tell me about that later.
You know what else is sad? I just realized today. Yeah. I performed four weddings. I think four. Let me make that is that right? Five. It might be five.
What are the other two?
Well You know about one. Let's call it one the closest to us.
Well, two there's two cousins.
Yeah, two cousins.
Yeah.
Uh strange you don't know about the do you know about the internet people?
Yes.
Not strangers, but they were nice. Yeah a couple that wanted me to do their wedding. Was
that Saltflats?
That was it, Salt Flats. Saltflats. Saltflats. We're gonna call 'em saltflats. Salt and flat.
Salt and flat.
I still I can't I've not been able to check in with them, so they may be part of this too. Anyway, a decent percentage of these have all ended in some kind of divorce. So like, um, the two cousins or the nephews. Out
bloop. You know what? And it makes
me sad. Is it my it's not my fault. It wasn't my reading of the thing.
No, fifty percent of marriage is dad.
And they're caused by your efficient.
Yeah.
So pick wisely when you have a dude standing there talking.
Imagine if like someone who performs weddings often, like some kind of pastor or whatever. Yeah. Imagine if he was like keeping track of all the divorces in his in his list. That'd be real depressing. Oh,
it really would.
Because you'd have so many.
But you're right. It's about fifty to sixty percent. Yeah. Which is a roughly the number out there.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just frustrating. I feel bad about it.
Don't feel bad. You have you are not involved in that. Well, I'm involved in the
part where I did it and it would all seem great when I did it.
If you talk to them, they won't go, You know what, Scott? It was actually your fault because you didn't efficient well enough.
I wasn't efficient and efficient, efficient.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's why.
I see how it is.
Yeah.
Anyway, uh how's it how y'all doing? Carter wants to talk about a pigeon that she found in the yard and apparently it's a fatty, fatty macaddy.
It is the biggest pigeon I've ever seen in my life.
So describe I need some like banana for scale. I need to
get a picture of it because it's driving me crazy. Imagine a regular pigeon is like this big, right?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What are the hosts’ plans for today’s Monday Show and why did the original plan fall through?
0:02–6:39
2
How did the hosts handle Deckard’s cat surgery update and what challenges did they face?
6:39–13:02
3
What crazy pigeon did they discover and why is it considered the biggest pigeon ever seen?
13:02–19:22
4
Why did the conversation shift to sea animals like seals, sea lions, and otters and what facts surprised them?
19:22–26:05
5
What movies and TV shows did they discuss, and why were they excited about the upcoming releases?
26:05–32:53
6
What is the love‑language quiz they tried, and which love language did each host prefer?
32:53–40:14
7
Who supposedly emailed them as “Elon Musk at x.com,” and why did they think it might be a bot?
40:14–47:28
8
How did the episode wrap up and what calls‑to‑action did the hosts give listeners?
47:28–54:28