My "Extreme Views" on Friendship | Spotify Video Exclusive
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What is the one-strike rule in friendships?
Now, some people have said that my approach or view on friendships is transactional, extreme, whatever. And I'll say, sure, you're right. And? I don't see friendship as a binary term, meaning it's not that we are friends or not friends, it's how good of friends are we. To define friendship, the opposite of friend would be an enemy or a rival, someone who doesn't root for me. They actively try and destroy my efforts. They try and get me to be emotional rather than make logical decisions. And they try and distract me from my ultimate goal. And for many of you, some of your friends fit that description now. I understand that people are human and people make mistakes. But if you want the one strike, not three strike, one way ticket out of my friendship, you only have to do one thing.
You have to not root for me. Meaning you actively resent either explicitly or implicitly when I win. If you resent me winning, why are you here? Like the reason they're still there is because there's a chance that your success will benefit them But while you're succeeding they'll still try and destroy it in case they can bring you down.
How can you identify true supporters versus hidden rivals?
It's fucked up, but it's true so the reverse of that would be somebody who Roots for you in front of you and most specifically behind your back real talk That's one of the hardest things out there Especially amongst guys where it's very alpha competitive as soon as your status starts to raise within the group you by comparison, make everyone else worse. So it's in their best interest to make you less of a threat to them by diminishing your status. The things like talking behind your back, trying to distract you, make you emotional, make you feel guilty about the things that you're doing, take you away, try and label you with old labels that are your old identity, not aligned with the things that you want to do later.
And the thing is, is like, I don't think these are bad people, to be clear. I don't even think there's good or bad people anyways. The question is just, Are they going to help me towards my long-term goal? Are they not? If it's more likely, they've earned a spot. They're paying their rent for my time and attention. If they're not more likely to help me hit my goal, then for me, the question is, is the relationship more important than my goal? And that's a decision for you. I made my goal my most important thing because I believe that if I achieve that goal... I would feel better about myself, my identity associated with it.
What is the transactional nature of relationships?
And I think that there would be a new level of friends who would unlock as I got to that new level. And for me up to this point, that has been true. I'm not trying to achieve a common life goal. And so it would make sense that my views would be more extreme than other people's. I also think that some of these views become compounded when you have increasing demands for your time. If that's not real for you right now, if you don't have people vying for every minute of your day right now, then what I'm saying might not be relevant for you. But for the people who do have people vying for every minute of their day, it might make more sense. There's a reason LeBron says no new friends.
That's LeBron right there. Hey, LeBron. Hey, LeBron. How are you? LeBron.
He's decided like he doesn't need any friends or he doesn't trust anyone new and that's fine. That works for him.
How do you invest in relationships for mutual growth?
He has a rare life. It would make sense that he has rare rules.
You can't really give a fuck about what people say no more. Because everybody gonna fucking critique everything that you do no matter what you do. That shit will creep into your mind.
The biggest issue that I've had with friendships in general is that people project what they believe friendships should look like in their minds onto our relationship. For me... I am transactional. This is gonna probably piss a lot of people off. The pros of this relationship should outweigh the cons.
Why is embracing change important in friendships?
And if people are like, I can't believe you'd say that, we probably wouldn't be friends. And that's okay. You'll probably be friends with people who don't have that definition.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the one-strike rule in friendships?
0:00–1:06
2
How can you identify true supporters versus hidden rivals?
1:06–2:11
3
What is the transactional nature of relationships?
2:11–2:52
4
How do you invest in relationships for mutual growth?
2:52–3:19
5
Why is embracing change important in friendships?
3:19–5:11
6
How do you maintain friendships while pursuing greatness?
5:11–6:11
7
What does pruning your social circle mean?
6:11–7:28
8
How can you navigate friendships during personal growth?
7:28–9:20