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Chapter 1: Who is Karen Doherty and what is her expertise?
welcome back we have a very special episode today that we are very excited to bring you we finally have a professional in the building after all these years yeah do you hear my belly well chintzy is hungry Karen Doherty is in the building. A proper relationship therapist. I discovered her when I watched Blue Therapy. And I was like, this woman is amazing.
First of all, the outfits are just serving. The blazers.
The glasses. The glasses, it's amazing.
The hair. And the advice, the pearls of wisdom that were coming from this lady's lips. I thought, we need a bit of this on the pod.
And the way, because we've just finished it, the way she just, she knew everything. She knew everything. She was just great. We could sit back, relax. But she gave us a stamp of approval a couple of times.
She did, which was really good.
really great that we did a good job so we think you guys are really going to enjoy this episode so we hope you do let us know how it went because obviously we've not had a guest in ages but we really love karen i thought that was great it was amazing she was just incredible we did some quick fire we had some great dilemmas so sit back enjoy let's take it away take it away enjoy
Karen, welcome to the girls' bathroom. We have an expert in the house. We've been dying for like a professional to come in and help us all out because we don't really know what we're doing.
We are very excited to have you here today. I cannot wait to hear all the wisdom. This is going to change our lives.
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Chapter 2: What insights does Karen provide about long-distance relationships?
I've never thought about it like this. I'm learning so much already. It's been 10 minutes.
I know.
But they can't.
So, you know, you can blame as much as you like, but have a look at the relationship you're in that is missing something. Is the right person, wrong time, a real thing? Okay. Right person, wrong time, real thing. Right person. How many right people do you meet? Quite a few, I would say, you know. Do you reckon? Relationships, yeah. Relationships are not, you know, how long are you going to live?
A hundred, hopefully. Yeah, exactly. How many relationships do you think you're going to get through in that time? One? I'm going through loads. That's the honest answer. That's the honest answer. I'll probably have boyfriends in my 50s, 60s. So, you know, where's the one? Yeah, there can be a one of the moment. Yeah. Fab. Yeah. Enjoy it. How should we deal with rejection?
Rejection hurts, always. But you have to process it. How sensitive are you? You know, when you think about being rejected... What's it about really? Is it just about you or is it about the one who's rejecting as well? What's going on? But it hurts and it's time.
It is literally just time. Because sometimes like the rejecting, it's got nothing to do with you. It's got nothing.
That's my point. It's got nothing to do with you.
We always like to say rejection is protection and rejection is redirection. Redirection. I like that. Rejection is redirection.
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Chapter 3: What are the signs that a relationship may be breaking down?
We've not experienced this yet. We are childless.
Spicing up relationships after children is part of my daily, daily job. Getting couples to reconnect because kids take up all of their time and their space and their heads. And between kids and... relationships and work. They are, it's very difficult. It's hard work.
What would be like your top two tips?
It's always the same. It's always prioritizing the couple and forget about date nights. Forget about date nights. By the time you get on a date night, everybody's exhausted. And then you get to the date night and one of you is just wanting to, you know, wanting a glass of wine and a bit of fun. And the other one has thought, oh, I'm going to talk about that now. We're together. I can do that.
Don't do it. Don't do it. So it turns into like, oh, we need to talk about all our problems now.
We're alone. Yeah.
It's having the reverse effect. Yes, completely. So don't do date nights. You know, have a date night at home or something. Do something intimate. I don't mean sex. I mean, you know, candles and curled up somewhere and chatting and maybe, you know, foot massage or I don't know, relationship cards or just having a chat.
Relationship cards with some deep questions on. Can porn addictions really be cured?
Well, now that is a really interesting subject because the problem with porn being so readily available is that it plays into that dopamine hit all the time. So you've got to be careful about why somebody is actually using the porn. I mean, is it because they're constantly needing the stimulation of the dopamine hit, which is slightly different to needing the sort of sex?
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Chapter 4: How can couples effectively communicate their needs?
Young women, can we get real here? Look at you girls. Look at you all. I mean, you know, that's a tough call for young men. You know, women are on the money at the moment and men have sort of lost their way.
Pursue, pursue, pursue, pursue, pursue, chase, chase, chase, chase, chase, chase. And then like when you almost get into like the normalities of an everyday relationship, it's like, oh, I'm gone. Is that like a boredom thing? Probably a bit of a chase.
Probably a bit of a chase, not necessarily. And maybe a competition. You know, there's a lot of, if you watched Blue Therapy, there was quite a lot of men there that weren't quite sure how to manifest their masculinity. Yeah, that's true. Okay, if you look at that program, there were men with very confused attitudes to their masculinity and didn't quite know how to play it.
And I think that's general. I think a lot of young men are a little bit confused between sort of, you know, you've got the manosphere over there, which we're not going to talk about. Yeah, just leave it over there. And then you've got other people who are too scared or they don't quite know whether they're going to do the right thing or say the right thing or be in the right place.
And don't forget, everything is recorded everywhere. So everybody's being watched and men know that. So they are scared. Yeah. And since women have become so economically independent, it's a completely different game. We don't need them as much.
They're a total mess.
I was being ever so polite. This is the girls' bathroom. It's a safe space. It's a safe space.
You can say that about us. Quite frankly, they are. You've got to help them, girls. Yeah, they need it. You've got to help them. You've got to help them for us.
Yeah. I do try. I do try. This is our last quick fire. What is the secret to a long, healthy relationship? Is there a secret?
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Chapter 5: What should you do if you feel pressured in a relationship?
We're just girls. Girls and boys just like you, you know?
We're just trying to get through life as well.
Not professionals. Enjoy the episode.
Enjoy.
Enjoy.
Okay, so our subject line of our first dilemma is, is he having an emotional affair with his work bestie?
What do you think about like work wives and work husbands? Big subject, isn't it? Huge subject. Absolutely huge subject. Have you seen it like tear relationships apart before? Yeah. Christmas parties. It's a real thing, isn't it? It's a real thing. Well...
So it's funny, that Christmas party thing. Loads of people just turn a blind eye at Christmas party. But I think it's changed. I think it's changed. I think people, the onset, social media, nobody's got any privacy anymore. And everybody knows everything. So I think it makes you all really, really, really insecure. You know, because you can just see everything.
And what's worse is that you could not just watching what's going on. You can assume that your boyfriend or girlfriend is doing that when actually maybe not. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's all there in your face and it's quite difficult to maintain trust. Yeah.
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Chapter 6: How can you handle intimacy issues in a relationship?
Okay, so your best friend's in your ear a little bit saying, she's flirting with him, she's flirting with your man.
Or is she seeing something that she's not?
Yeah, possibly. She could just be making it up.
Oh, God.
at his house i felt tired so i sat on the sofa while my boyfriend susan and his two friends all danced and kept partying taking shots i felt like something had snapped in my brain and i was watching a movie scene play out the body language the flirting the tapping this isn't jealousy she fancies him yeah Okay, so you've sat back on the sofa and you're thinking, I'm just going to observe.
And you're thinking, what the hell's going on over there? My boyfriend runs upstairs to be sick after taking a shot. And she runs after him. Really?
whoa where are you going babes myself and his two friends I'll take care of my boyfriend you can sit down um myself and his two friends are sat in complete silence downstairs while we can hear her knocking on the door are you okay do you want me to come in you know his mum all of us were shocked
Really? Yeah, you're listening to someone else try and comfort your man. And you're there with your best friend as well. She's there with her best friend.
You're like, what the? Yeah, like, are you going to let this stand? I'm not proud of myself, but in that moment, I grabbed his phone and looked through their messages. What do you think about searching through partner's phones? Snooping.
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Chapter 7: What advice is given for balancing career aspirations and relationships?
I'm a single girl. I'm a single girl.
I'm going to do what I want. He likes me. He's told me he's not happy in his relationship. All he's telling me. It's not to be celebrated, but I do put a lot of the blame on the guy because I'm like, you needed to put a bigger boundary in place. You've got way too familiar. You've been replying to the messages. God knows what you've been saying at work.
You've obviously not been singing my praises because she thinks that we're not happy. Hence why she's making a move.
She thinks that she can talk bad about me to you. So you're... My own boyfriend is allowing some girl I don't know to talk badly about me and he's fine about it.
Which to me says that he's been speaking badly about you because I can't imagine a random girl would dare talk badly about you if he'd only ever sang your praises. So he's given her that level of comfort to be like, yeah, we can do this.
And to feel like it's normal and okay. Yeah. I'm agreeing with you. Oh, lovely.
Yay!
Yay! We're therapists. I know.
Yeah. Go girls. Yes. Brian's definitely to blame there.
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Chapter 8: How can couples navigate differing timelines for major life decisions?
I am also unsure how to act at this festival if I see her myself. For context, she is a couple years older than us, if that means anything to you girls. Thanks so much.
Do you want to see a picture of the couple? Yes.
Let's have a look.
Sarah's gorgeous, isn't she? Sarah's always gorgeous. Sarah's always gorgeous, always.
All the Sarahs of the world. Okay, I'm not going to say any more. Okay, so it's been going on a while, hasn't it? Yes. When did it first start?
July? Last year. So it's nearly a year, isn't it? It's nearly a year.
Yeah, because that's when he started that job. So it's probably the last time to give him a chance, isn't it? Let's have a look at him at the festival. Let's see how he behaves. Let's actually watch them both together and see how your guts are going there.
because it's 50-50 Brian's not you're right Brian hasn't put in the right boundaries and the night out was disappointing yes like you knew it was inappropriate so why aren't you just leaving and also you've told me oh this feels really inappropriate I was like
really you've been like oi mate i've got a girl here she probably quite like you come on down i don't want to go home back to the missus yeah like come out and he's telling you one thing he's painting you one picture but in reality i think it's probably quite different yeah yeah so i think the jury's out on that one and one more chance at the best well i wouldn't even call it a chance let's have a look yeah let's have a look we're sort of a lot you know i'm not sure that we're in chance giving mode at the moment we're in sort of it is what's going on yeah what a shame yeah
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