THE DISCLAIMER: Jase Is Dying

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The Hauraki Big Show 12 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 1 day ago
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What is the opening banter and schedule for The Hauraki Big Show?

Karl Urban 0:00
For all you mad bastards loving the Big Show podcast, get up even closer. On Instagram, YouTube and TikTok. Oh raw doggies. Four to seven every weekday. On Radio Hodaki.
Jason Hoyte 0:15
Oh G'day, fellas.
Karl Urban 0:18
Back man. Hello. Put a phlegm there, Jiz. You gotta clear out that morning vape, Jiz.
Jason Hoyte 0:24
Oi um I had a uh I had an eggplanty kind of pasta last night. I I gotta be honest with you fellas, I I'm feeling a bit dicey today.
Karl Urban 0:36
That's right, that'll only affect your steamers. Yeah,
Jason Hoyte 0:39
well I w uh but the good thing is w you know, I've done my steamer. Have ya? That was all it's always been my dilemma when doing breakfast. It it interrupts my steamer flow.
Karl Urban 0:48
Traditionally what happens is you do it right at the end before we're doing the old er the potty. The potty there. Go out for a forty five minute Yeah, well it does take me forty five minutes.
Mike Minogue 0:58
Whereas today we're doing it uh five forty eight AM right now. Boom.
Jason Hoyte 1:03
How you going, Keasy? You seem in her of a mood.
Mike Minogue 1:08
Based on what? Yeah. No, but you I just You've been here for thirty six you show up late and then you start saying I show up
Jason Hoyte 1:14
late. I I showed up at twenty to six.
Mike Minogue 1:17
No, you didn't. I was here at twenty to six. All right. Nah, um, I'm in a great mood. Oh, good. Had a good sleep last night.
Jason Hoyte 1:24
Awesome. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. How many coffees have we punched already? Is that your first in the day? I've been awake
Karl Urban 1:30
for about three hours, so I'm all good. Had my glass of water Keesy.
Mike Minogue 1:34
Glass I got a glass of water here, got a pretty much a full coffee. Haven't even started on that yet.

How do the hosts describe their morning routine and breakfast mishaps?

Mike Minogue 1:38
Um and then I've got a little tupperware of just a bit of music.
Jason Hoyte 1:41
Oh God. And you've got a little up and go there I can see as well. Yeah,
Mike Minogue 1:45
just stuff.
Jason Hoyte 1:46
Yeah. No,
Mike Minogue 1:46
just stuff.
Karl Urban 1:49
What's wrong? The up and go stuff, man. It's no good. Here we go. Yeah, yeah. I worry about you, man, with this stuff. You
Mike Minogue 1:54
should be having tofu and desperate
Karl Urban 1:56
churches.
Jason Hoyte 1:56
Funnily enough, my my youngest daughter said to me the other day, Dad, do you think I could survive on just up and go? What do you say? I said, Well, probably, but it wouldn't be very good for you. Exactly. 'Cause it doesn't have a lot of nutrients in it. No.
Karl Urban 2:11
Um it it's sort of like in the Wheat Bix um the Wheat Bicks realm, you know, whereas it's so sold as sort of a um a whole food. It's not Keesy. You gotta stop eating Wheat Bicks, man. I fucking
Mike Minogue 2:24
hate Wheat Bicks.
Karl Urban 2:24
Wheat bicks are all good.
Jason Hoyte 2:25
I love Wheat Bicks. It's like my little treat at n it used to be my treat at night would be a big bowl of wheat bicks with about eight teaspoons of sugar on it. White sugar No brown. I go brown. Maybe brown. Yeah. I tell you what It is a different world out there this time of the day, walking through the city. I really like it 'cause there's very few people there, but she's pretty grim as well.
Karl Urban 2:48
Right, okay. Although they haven't cleared the the cops haven't come through and cleared them out yet.
Jason Hoyte 2:52
Yes, and there's a lot of rats. There's a lot of rats. Yeah, I do. Did you see one this morning? Yes, I saw a a number of them. In Elliot Street where all the little food stools the outside food stools are just rats scurrying all over the place. Scurrying all over the place.
Karl Urban 3:07
It's a sign of a healthy economy. I think so. Uh when you've got a lot of rats around Keasey. Uh means that people are throwing things out into the bins.

Why do the hosts argue about Wheat Bix and its health effects?

Karl Urban 3:14
Or for example, you know, you might have a top radio DJ walk out of work and a homeless guy uh launches a pie and it hits him in the chest and just falls on the ground. Yes. And then a rat. You know, that's rat that's rat food. Yes. You know, it's not going to away. It's not going to waste rats.
Jason Hoyte 3:28
It's not going to waste, Mogie. The rats are eating it. The rats will eat it. Or the you know, maybe
Karl Urban 3:33
that homeless guy picked it up. I don't know. And there's a domino. I kept on walking and I
Jason Hoyte 3:37
acted like it didn't happen. Five years. Yeah, good. That's what you gotta do. And you've got to avoid eye contact. You've fallen into that mistake
Karl Urban 3:46
before, haven't
Jason Hoyte 3:46
you? Yeah, oh yeah, I have. Because you you can see from quite a distance, you go, Okay, okay, no
Karl Urban 3:55
You've been involved in conversations with uh with well, probably billions of homeless people.

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