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The Hauraki Breakfast Podcast

📻Bench Press Hoyte - The Radio Show

29 Apr 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main challenge discussed against the Big Show?

0.031 - 4.016 Unknown

The Hodaki Breakfast. Build big with the wide range at Bunnings Trade.

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4.437 - 9.243 Jeremy Wells

The best way to catch up on what you missed. The Hodaki Breakfast radio show podcast.

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9.263 - 30.195 Unknown

Welcome along to the Hodaki Breakfast. Thursday the 30th of April 2026. 30 days has September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31 except February which has got 28. So there's another day to go on that. So we're in May next? We're in May next, yes. Sorry, I'm not familiar with this calendar. Is that how that works? You don't work off the Gregorian, is that correct? No, I don't.

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30.235 - 50.38 Unknown

I go off the Mayan. And as far as I'm concerned, the world ended in 2012. So this has all been a dream, which it does explain a lot, doesn't it? Well, I actually do have a theory that the world ended in 2019. You know, just when it went mad, right at the end of 2019 there, my theory is that the world ended and this has all been just a wild fever dream.

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It's the only way to explain a lot of the stuff that's going on. There's been some pretty weird stuff going on. When I saw Hulk Hogan come out at the last election and rip his shirt off and he had a Trump shirt on underneath, I was like, okay, okay, this is starting to feel a bit like a dream. Yeah, it does make you wonder where things are going to be in 30, 40, 50 years' time.

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Yeah, well, the robots would have done us in by then, wouldn't they?

Chapter 2: Who are the Harlem Globetrotters and what do they bring to the show?

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Yeah, luckily I'm not going to be here to worry about that. That's good. Unless they bring in artificial... Insemination. Artificial, you know, organs. Or upload your consciousness into the cloud. Would you upload your consciousness into a cloud if you could? God, no. What, so that the punishment can last forever? No. No. I want the sweet, sweet release, brother. At some stage.

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It's nice to rest in peace, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It is. It's one of those classic situations, isn't it, where the media's talking about the media's talking about the media. Yes. Are we the media? We are. Let's talk about the media. We're the mainstream media. Can you explain to me, because I can't wrap my head around this one. Sure. The Mikey Sherman issue.

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So Mikey Sherman, she's the political editor for TVNZ.

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Chapter 3: What theories does Jerry propose about the world's end?

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That's the one you're talking about? Yes. So on the one news, she'll stand outside Parliament and tell you what's going on in there. But for some reason... The National Party's angry at her? What did she do? Well, the National Party, I don't know if they're angry at her. It's more that she was at a party. A National Party?

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It was a National Party because it was Nicola Willis who's the Minister of Finance. So National Party, party. Yep. Oh, it was a party. It was a casual situation. A soiree. Going on a soiree where journalists and MPs were having a couple of drinks casually. It wasn't a knees up, was it? I think it did end up being a bit of a knees up. Hoedown? Not a hoedown. No.

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I don't think there was dancing involved. Okay, so not a shindig. No, not a shindig. So they're hanging out in Nicola Willis' office, allegedly. Okay, so I'm picturing kick-ons here. Yeah. So you've all gone to the pub... And then the pub's like, all right, you guys are out of here. And you're like, where do we go now? And Nicola goes, I have literally an office across the road. Go back to mine.

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It's on the seventh floor of the Beehive. Views, spectacular. There's personal security. No one's going to come in there and see what we're doing. I've got a fridge full of Export Ultra. Fridge full of piss. And that's the first thing you ask for when you get voted in. Would be for me. Yeah. So anyway, they're back at her place. I don't think they ever left her place.

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So they're up there, they're having a couple of drinks, and then, now, something happened. Nobody quite knows, but there was some comments made between people. It was, I think, the end of the night. I think it was sort of midnight-y, allegedly. So probably, people were probably a bit looser than normal.

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And then someone said something, someone else said something else, and then allegedly, Mikey Sherman, the political editor, said a word, a particular word. Okay, okay, okay.

Chapter 4: How does the media impact public perception?

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I've got in front of me, and I'll put it into the conclave so that you can dig that back up again. It's the list of words that you can't use in a broadcast anymore. Now, I'm presuming she's used one of these words, and there's a number that correlates with each of them. So the BSAs rank them 1 through 30, the most offensive words. Jeremy Wells, does the word appear on that list in front of you?

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264.547 - 276.229 Unknown

It does. It appears at... It's not the first word. It's not the second word. It's not the third word. It's definitely not the fourth word or the fifth word. Wow. It's the fifth equal word, actually.

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276.249 - 277.11 Sunshine West

Oh, okay. According to this.

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277.37 - 282.435 Unknown

Now, hold on. There's three fifth equal. Yeah, that's right. Two of them sort of more or less mean the same thing.

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283.256 - 283.537 Sunshine West

Mm-hmm.

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You're in the ones that mean the same thing.

Chapter 5: What controversy surrounds Mikey Sherman and the National Party?

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Okay, so one's an action that the other one might perform. That's right. Is it the noun or the verb? It's the noun. Oh, okay. So she's used the noun. Number five equal. Yep, that's right. It's the one that starts with F. Okay. And it ends in a T, but it doesn't have a W in it. Okay, so is there a word that it might rhyme with? Yes, there is. And those things are oftentimes a fly will lay them.

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And if you have some sort of matter that's decomposing, those things will end up eating away at those. And then wriggle out of it. And they'll wriggle out, then they'll turn into flies. And so the larval stage of a fly rhymes with the word that she is accused of using inside Parliament. Allegedly. And when is that inside Parliament? In an office, in an informal situation afterwards.

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So there's a couple of things here. Tell me if they cancel each other out. The first is, and I think anyone other than people that don't drink, no shame on them, but I'm just saying that there's one of them in that National Party. They know... You can't be held to account for things you say on the piss. Like if I tell you we're on the piss, hey, tomorrow, do you want to go for a run?

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Should we go for a run for like five, maybe 10Ks? If we wake up the next morning, you're not going to hit me up and be like, hey, were you still keen for that ride? You know I was wasted. Okay. So that's going to be one part of it. You can't hold people. The second thing is you can't say certain words inside Parliament.

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So I think where they've gotten messy was by getting on the piss in Parliament. Well, yeah, but according to people who I was talking to yesterday who have held this particular job before, it's common. Let's get on the piss. Oh, totally. With parliamentarians and journalists. It's a pretty stressful job too. They're interacting all the time.

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And I think there's an unwritten code that at certain times you're off the clock and then certain times you're on the clock. And maybe it's blurred now. I don't know. I've never been a parliamentary journalist. If this was an off-the-clock moment, Because the other thing is, why has it taken a year for them to bring it up?

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Well, that's the weird thing, because the person who the slur was directed at, and whether or not it was a jibe, you know, like a fun jibe. Misheard. It's not that fun. You'd have to think not. I don't know. Whether it was thrown as a direct insult or maybe as a misplaced jibe, whatever it is, the person who it was aimed at has said, I don't want anything... I don't want to take this any further.

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So then the interesting thing was it just sat for a long time because nobody complained about anything. And then all of a sudden it re-emerges a year later. Right. A year later. A year later, right off the back of that specific party basically dropping a lot of media requirements and not doing well in the media. Then they go, but she called him a...

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And a number of other incidents, including an alleged break of parliamentary protocol by the said reporter interviewing someone else at a place that she wasn't meant to, supposedly. And so then they pulled this one out of their back pocket. They complained about that to the Speaker of the House, et cetera, et cetera. So context is important. It is.

Chapter 6: What are the implications of using offensive language in media?

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You're like, oh, dice. You can go too early on a zit, can't you? Yeah. Oh, so was it one of those ones that comes from deep within? So it's essentially like it hurts if you push it? Dude, it came out of my pineal gland.

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634.182 - 635.023 Sunshine West

I could feel the thing.

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I could feel the thing. It was right between my eyes and about a couple of fingers higher. Yeah, and so then it came to a head yesterday morning, busted that thing, hooked to it and busted that thing. And now, yeah, I've just got a little – It's on its way out. You know, if I was younger, this would have happened right on the day of the ball. is the kind of thing that's happened here.

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660.708 - 676.029 Unknown

And so, yeah, I just, this is, I don't think, I would warn you against, Jerry, putting this, although you're so Botoxed, I don't know if it happened, but I would warn you against suctioning that to your fourie because you will end up with a zit. Well, I will end up with a zit because I'm still running zits all the time.

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I mean, as a 49-year-old man, I thought, there's no way I'll be getting pimples at 49. Oh, yeah, I'm still getting pimples. I used to have a few pimples as a kid. Not heaps, just like... The odd one on your snout or something? Oh, no, no, like more than that. Oh, right. Like, you know, to the point where I feel like I wasn't at the Roaccutane stage, you know, where you take medication.

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But certainly I was heaving my way through bottles of Clarisol, probably making my skin worse. Really? Yeah. I did take the Topex challenge, the five-day Topex challenge. Not heard of that one. You don't know the Topex Challenge? No, I don't know the Topex Challenge. Around the cheeks, mainly. As you can see, I've got pimples. You didn't remember that ad?

719.813 - 720.213 Sunshine West

I don't remember it.

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I don't like them, but I'm stuck with them. Around the cheeks, mainly. The facial cheeks. It didn't work anyway. The Topex Challenge just made things worse. Mine was so bad that I went on the Roaccutane Challenge. Did it over summer? You're not allowed to go? Is it a Roaccutane Challenge? I would have thought it's pretty much... It's pretty much...

738.481 - 762.565 Unknown

you know done and dusted that that stuff is going to clear up your it's going to clear up your pimples no it felt it felt like a challenge at the time because you're not allowed i had it over summer you're not allowed to go out in the sun because you're more prone to sunburn um you're more prone to chapped lips so for the first time in my life i was about 18 and i had to wear chapstick on my lips um and also terrible blood noses which when you're working a um summer job at a supermarket right

Chapter 7: What unique experiences do the Harlem Globetrotters share from their travels?

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the last three they're having a meeting in the smallest meeting room you've ever seen in your entire life it's i'm looking at it now and they've just walked in we can talk now because they closed the door and they can't hear us but uh that's a police we call that the police interrogation room that's even in terms of police interrogation rooms it would be a very small police interrogation room

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I assumed it was designed to be uncomfortable to keep us on our toes during our air checks where they go over the state of the show. It's glass, so you can see into it. And you always see people just having the worst time in there. It's a terrible... I've never had a good experience in that road.

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No, neither have I. And to see, I never thought there'd come a day where I'd see the Harlem Globetrotters having a meeting in that thing. Here are your sports headlines. Thanks to Export Ultra the beer for here. That's your sports headline. The Harlem Globetrotters are having a meeting in that road. Torrential rains into the Blackcaps' hopes of a T20 Series win in Bangladesh.

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Not a ball was bowled in game two in Chittagong, meaning the hosts carried their 1-0 series lead into Saturday's final match. Have you? Yeah. Not a ball was bowled. Well, that means I saw as much of that game as I have any of these other ones. The women's Black Sticks have beaten a local club side 4-2 in their invitational hockey tournament in China. Really?

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Yeah, it was hard work this morning, fellas.

1130.78 - 1131.281 Sunshine West

New Zealand.

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Seriously, the Black Sticks. That's a headline. Well, it's the local club side bit that really gets me. The Black Sticks won some game against some random people that they just hooked up. But what's next, Jerry? The Harlem Globetrotters? This better be about the Harlem Globetrotters, the fact that they're in that meeting room out there.

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In 2010, Scotland international Chainsaw Laney is pushing New Zealand rugby into reconsidering eligibility laws as more young players head to Europe. I think it's inevitable. In 10 years, could you see us picking people from overseas?

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Yes.

Chapter 8: How does Jerry think Jason Hoyt will perform in the bench press challenge?

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Brick. Brick, I think. Oh, she's a brick house. Oh, is she?

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1325.462 - 1326.283 Sunshine West

She's mighty, mighty.

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Oh, she's a brick house. Okay. She's the one, the only one. Anyway, I had sort of wondered if reality TV, because in the early 2000s it loomed large over the TV landscape, and I had wondered if perhaps that it might have done its dash. But every year they churn out some more celebrities for Celebrity Treasure Island, dig up a couple of old All Blacks.

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Well, it turns out there's a myriad of celebrities in New Zealand. Yeah. For such a small country, there's a lot of celebrities, aren't there? A lot of celebrities. And so a while ago, I had an idea to – because back in the day, back when Havoc and Newsboy and that were getting around, it would have been all – Big Brother would have come out around then. Big Brother did, yeah, early 2000s.

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That was sort of like the original one. Late 90s? Yeah, then there were the idol shows and talent shows and all that kind of stuff. Then it moved into the Kardashians, Paris Hilton sort of era, Real Housewives, that kind of thing. Led mainly from the Osbournes? That's right. Yeah, of course. And then you were into your home renovation. I think reality TV generally falls into...

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You know Maslow's hierarchy of needs? Yes. And your base needs are food, shelter, and intimacy. Those are the things. Those are the things that reality TV are always made of. So it's the block, shelter, you need a house. My Kitchen Rules or any of those MasterChef ones.

1411.346 - 1412.988 Sunshine West

Hell's Kitchen with Gordon Ramsay.

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Love Island. Love Island. The intimacy one. Exactly. Or Big Brother was always about the shower scenes. Yeah. Not that I watched. Yeah, it was. But I thought, you know, the block's no longer going. There's... David Lomas gets a run every now and then, but... He's investigating. He's investigating. He's investigating people's family situations. Yeah, but...

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But really, outside of Celebrity Treasure Island, we don't get too many New Zealand-based reality TV shows. And I think part of it is because we're boring as well. We're not very explosive Kiwis to film. But I thought, what about if we could combine a bunch of them together? You know what I mean? So that one of them, each one of those things may not work individually, but all together.

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