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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio show the horaki breakfast podcast welcome along to the first bite of the cherry the first podcast to see the sun the first to see in a new day the day of our lord june the 8th monday the 8th of june we're the only one who feels a little bit of pressure now that we're the we've realized we're the only well we're the first podcast to see the sun
Well, I think you could look at it as a precious situation, or you could think, we get the first bite of the cherry. So whatever is out there, whatever cherries are out there. Oh, we get the first take. We just nibble, so we can nibble it either.
Yeah. Well, I've been away to a wedding all weekend, so I don't even know what's going on. Oh, how's you- I know nothing. Where'd you go? Where was the wedding? Christchurch. Shout out to Christchurch. Man enough to admit this probably on the podcast and not on the radio just because we're all friends here. I've entirely acclimatized to Auckland now.
As soon as I land in Christchurch, my lips chat. Oh, yeah, same. Every single time I land in Christchurch. Same. I'm barely off the plane and my missus is offering me the bloody Blistex. Yeah, same.
Is it the dryness of the air?
I think so.
There's no moisture in there.
Windy. Windy. Yeah. Windy. Oh, is it windy? Dry. Yeah. My nose is always running Christchurch as well. That's the other thing. Even as a kid growing up. Radio Awards Thursday night. Radio Awards Thursday night into Friday. A brave effort on the show into straight home and then tried to kind of sleep. I'm still a terrible napper. I may have got an hour or something. Into out to the airport. Oh.
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Chapter 2: Why does Manaia get chapped lips in Christchurch?
Flying down to Christchurch, me and the missus, our flight's scheduled to leave at 8. Caught in Auckland traffic. Didn't matter because the flight got delayed three times. So we sat outside gate 32 for about an hour, hour and a half. Reason? There was weather around the country and that had... I hate it when there's a little bit of weather around.
There is some weather around.
There's always weather around. There's weather around in Napier, is what they were saying. And I saw at least one person walk up to the counter and go, what the fuck does weather in Napier have to do with me? And that's because our pilot was coming from there to then fly us down. So we didn't have a pilot. And I said, I'll fly the fucking thing. Oh. Just get me out of here. But they said, nah.
Sort of rolls around that. You know Denzel Washington.
You've at least got to have a suit and a hat on, mate. Yeah. Well, speaking of radio awards, though, and talking about Denzel Washington in the movie where he flies the plane upside down. Yeah. Similar state for Mania. Yeah.
Yeah, so I wouldn't have been wanting Mania to be the person that was flying the plane on Friday. Upside down. No. I mean, you'd only just landed it, so.
I should have shown them. Hey, I don't know about taking off.
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Chapter 3: What are the climate differences between Auckland and Christchurch?
I'll fucking land it. I landed this thing under duress last night.
I don't know if you've seen. I don't know if you've heard.
Here we go. Yeah. Check it. There's the podcast. It's at 11 a.m. on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your pods. Yeah. So you're headed down. So three hour delay. So you're out of the airport for three hours. Dude, and it gets worse than that because.
Oh, no. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then so we land at like, I don't know. This is Friday night. 10.30 or something. Yeah, Friday night. I was a doozy on my Friday, man. Yeah, that sucked. Then that night, we stay in an Airbnb. There must have been like four or five bedrooms in this thing. It's a bunch of my partner's family.
And it's one of these houses that's got like the central heating sort of situation, the HRV situation. So you don't have control of the climate in your own room. Who has the control of the climate is basically whoever changed it last before they went to bed. And one of her cousins went and
uh flicked it on to like 30 degrees oh no yeah it's a mistake that's a rookie error i know because she was like oh it's so cold in here i'm gonna crank this bitch up doesn't work like that so now the whole house is 30 degrees and it's like you wake up feeling so fucking oh it's one of the worst feelings that and i pull the sweat me and the missus so then you open the window but it's minus two degrees in christchurch and then there's 30 degree air coming out of the
the roof vent yeah which is just a recipe for it's just going to keep cranking out at 30 degrees yeah because that because then it's struggling to warm your room up yeah and then probably struggling to warm everyone else's room up because it's doing the whole house so it's a recipe for waking up feeling real flowy and real um alarm bells for me is you're a hung over and b have hardly had any sleep yeah and in fact i would be one of those people that would say something like oh i was at the
And that would bring me down. I'd be hot. I'd be hungover. I would be. And you've got dry lips. Oh, chapped lips.
Chapped lips. I was. To boot. We'll discuss it on the radio show. But, oh yeah, my lip. Chapped lips to boot. Chipped my ass. Chipped ass. Into. Wearing chips. Chipped anal glands. Chipped anal glands. And they'll listen to this podcast and go, oh, who am I talking about today? Chipped anal glands.
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Chapter 4: How does air conditioning affect comfort in shared spaces?
Spitfire Street. Yep, Spitfire Street's in there.
Mustang Selly Way?
Guess you better slow that Mustang down close. I think it's called. Mustang Selly Close. Yeah, I believe it's called.
Remember that show we did where we learned all the differences between the different roads, lanes, drives and things?
Yes. Parades?
Yes. I feel like we could relearn that again. Relitigate that? Well, I've lost that information.
I know that a parade was along a... A body of water, I believe. Yeah, a parade. Yeah, it is. So that's why there's Oriental Parade. Marine Parade in Tauranga? Yes. At the mountain? Napier. Napier, there's a Marine Parade?
Yeah. Peach Parade, interestingly, in St Helios is not along a body of water. I don't know what that's about. But there's also, what's the... Oh, that's Pareto Drive, I know. Tamaki Drive, yeah, Drive's another one. Drive. An Ave is between two roads?
Yes, yeah, yeah. Not to be confused with a boulevard, which I believe is where the lanes are separated by a tree lining of some sort. Ah. Yeah, or some sort of median strip.
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Chapter 5: What common mistakes do people make with air conditioning?
I think a street was urban and a road not necessarily.
Okay, I'm just thinking about my neighborhood, but you've got like, you know, Ponsonby Road, it's a Jervois Road, and you've got a whole lot of streets that run off it.
Yeah. Yeah, look, man, we probably should have the thing in front of us. Probably. I was looking for it. I couldn't find it.
So overall, a rating taking out your chapped anal glands.
Well, how can you?
And the unfortunate incident with the heater.
With the overheater. Oh, don't worry. That happened the next night.
Do you know, that is a common mistake. I see that oftentimes that people will get onto one of those Fujitsus and they'll crank it up to 30. Like, come on, we'll get this place. You can just put it on 22.
And it'll get there.
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Chapter 6: Why do weddings sometimes have unexpected dry spells?
Could you bring it into the school curriculum? Yeah. Because I think you should have air conditioning lessons and I think you should have lessons on people using a fucking microphone at a wedding.
Oh, yeah. Real good. Just general life. It should be called life skills. And, yeah, chucking microphones at weddings. Yeah. Basic technology. Also, just basic kind of banking skills. Oh, nah. And, you know, some basic financial advice. Some basic food advice. Some exercise advice. You know, just basic stuff.
I always wondered that with home economics. They called it home economics when I was coming through. It was cooking. Same. But- It was nothing other than cooking. I was like, there's more to... First of all, this has got fuck all to do with the economy. Yeah. And one aspect of being in a home. Yeah, they call it home economics at my school too.
I think it was to do with... It was meant to be that they were teaching you how to eke out, you know... And I think it was on the day when baking and stuff was cheaper.
Yeah, which it just ain't. It's cheaper to go and buy it. Much more expensive. It's like when people plant veggie gardens. You're going to spend all year growing an herb. Yeah. We had a couple of strawberry bushes last summer. It was like, all right, it's your week to have a strawberry. And next week I will have a strawberry, unless the cat or the birds get to it. It's just so not worth it.
The only one that's oftentimes worth it are those little cherry tomatoes. Because you can plant those cunts at Labor Weekend.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of a dry wedding on guests?
And then come Christmas, you got yourself a whole lot of cherry tomatoes. And there's heaps of them. Yeah. And they do taste good off the vine.
You know what else is worth it, Jerry? Avocado trees.
Don't talk to me about avocado trees.
Avocado trees, man.
I'm still dealing with the loss of my avocado tree. Ah, rest in peace. Don't bring it up with Tulsi, that's for sure. She's still fuming about that avocado tree. She would never forgive that digger driver who took out our avocado tree.
Any retribution for that?
There should be some sort of... Well, I mean, I didn't want to... He knew he'd done wrong, and I didn't want to... You know, what was I going to do?
You'll be buying me a new avocado tree. You'll be buying me avocado stuff.
A new avocado tree? Like a new 30, 40-year-old avocado tree? Like you can't buy one of those.
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