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The Hauraki Breakfast Podcast

🎙Crazy? Yes! Dumb? No! The Podcast

14 Apr 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the huge announcement happening this Friday?

0.031 - 9.62 Jeremy Wells

Daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio show, the Hauraki Breakfast Podcast. Welcome along to our podcast. Reuben Nielsen from the Mint Chicks joins us in just a few moments.

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9.9 - 30.038 Manaia Stewart

Yeah, that's right. And before we talk to Reuben Nielsen though, we put a post in the conclave about a new, potential new name. We'll get to that, a new name for the podcast. But just quickly, it's not often that there's a subject coming up on the podcast that's so good that it's worth teasing two days ahead of time.

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30.018 - 39.541 Manaia Stewart

But I do want to alert the long-suffering listeners of this podcast to something that's going to be happening this Friday. Yeah. And that's the first ever Fake Dick Fridays.

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Chapter 2: What potential name change is being considered for the podcast?

41.987 - 65.391 Manaia Stewart

Fake Dick Fridays. Fridays? Well, we'll just do one and see how it goes. All right. But basically, yes, Monday actually I received a message that reminded me of a story that I became aware of a few years ago. And I didn't want to ruin the story because I want your honest reactions to it. But I told you guys that it involved a fake dick.

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67.16 - 70.003 Manaia Stewart

and asked whether I had your attention or not, and I sure did.

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70.103 - 76.929 Jeremy Wells

Yeah, well, you generally do. It's just not often you hear those words, not only broadcast, but also on podcasts, Fake Dick.

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77.209 - 93.364 Manaia Stewart

No, no, and so then I said, well, should we talk about it tomorrow on the podcast? This was on Monday, and yesterday we never got to it because we talked to the Viva La Dirt League guys, and we wasted time talking about something else as well. And then today, because, of course, Ruben's coming in, he doesn't need to be associated with Fake Dick Friday.

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93.924 - 95.766 Jeremy Wells

Why don't you ask him? Give him the option.

96.421 - 105.153 Manaia Stewart

And then we said, oh, should we do it tomorrow? Tomorrow's pretty busy too. We'll just do it on Friday. And that's when we're like, oh yeah, fake dick Friday. So we're going to sit on the fake dick till Friday.

Chapter 3: What is Fake Dick Fridays and how did it come about?

105.353 - 106.374 Manaia Stewart

Sit on the fake dick till Friday.

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106.394 - 111.821 Jeremy Wells

It's quite a, it's the deepest tease I've ever experienced in my 30 odd years of broadcasting.

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111.841 - 118.811 Manaia Stewart

We're just going to throw this crayfish pot in the water and see if some fish don't crawl into it. You know what I mean? And then we'll pull it up on Friday and see what we've got. And it might be nothing.

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119.351 - 124.198 Jeremy Wells

Probably kinna. I've watched, how the hell is a kinna going to crawl into a crayfish pot?

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124.218 - 124.318

Yeah.

124.298 - 131.97 Manaia Stewart

Look, I've watched enough Deadliest Catch to know the Bering Sea is a fickle mistress and we don't know what's going to be in that pot when we fill it up.

Chapter 4: Who is Reuben Nielson and what award is he receiving?

131.99 - 153.025 Manaia Stewart

It's a fickle mistress. You know what I mean? It could be full of beard-eye crab. It could be full of Alaskan king crab. It could be full of fake dicks. It could be full of nothing. Who knows? I'm excited. Anyone ever pulled up a cray pot? I've never pulled up a crayon. I have never. Never have I ever. I've eaten some crayfish. Imagine that, you know, when you're sitting around on the person.

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153.125 - 161.177 Manaia Stewart

Never have I ever watched while two other people, and then, okay, now it's your turn. Never have I ever pulled up a crayfish pot. With a cray in it.

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161.898 - 164.582 Jeremy Wells

Well, certainly with a cray in it. I've pulled up a cray pot with no cray.

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165.153 - 165.874 Manaia Stewart

That shit cray.

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Chapter 5: What makes Portland a notable music town?

165.894 - 174.504 Jeremy Wells

I've done a couple of batshit crays in my time. But I've never pulled up one. Just imagine that when you do pull up that cray pot and it's got a cray in it, it must feel really good.

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175.485 - 187.318 Manaia Stewart

I'll ask my missus when I get home because she's done it. Has she? Yeah, she pulled up a cray pot. She went on a hen's do and they ended up going cray fishing. Hold on. That's hot. Fucking what? That's fucking hot, man.

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187.378 - 193.405 Jeremy Wells

Your partner, Jeff, went on a hen's do and they went cray fishing.

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195.359 - 197.166 Manaia Stewart

Do you guys not go crayfishing on hens?

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197.668 - 202.988 Jeremy Wells

Where was the hens do face? Of course.

203.049 - 211.884 Manaia Stewart

That's where the crayfish are. Why the fuck did I ask that? What? That's where the crayfish are. Where would you go if you wanted to go?

211.904 - 219.015 Jeremy Wells

Can we get her on and can she run us through the itinerary of the Kaikoura crayfish hens do?

220.037 - 223.101 Manaia Stewart

If you needed to pull up some crayfish on a hens do, where would you go?

223.121 - 230.833 Jeremy Wells

I wouldn't go crayfishing on a hens do. I think that's the first and only time that has ever happened in the history of the universe.

Chapter 6: How did Reuben's upbringing influence his music career?

245.733 - 265.7 Manaia Stewart

I stunk their whole house out and ruined one of their pots with this crayfish. I was like, because she then had to drive it to Maroo, so... Worth it. Worth it, yeah. So you boil that bitch? Oh, boil that thing to within an inch of its life, yeah. Scream? Wow. Yep. And then slather it in butter. Oh, so good. I couldn't find any garlic, but butter will do it.

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265.92 - 277.756 Manaia Stewart

You get gout off the back of that thing? Get gout off the back of that thing, man. Bit of Christmas gout. It is good, though, isn't it? The old cry. Goodness. So anyway, Friday. Fake dick Fridays. Fake dick Friday. Yeah.

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278.537 - 286.9 Jeremy Wells

What are you looking at? No, it's just. Anything interesting? Just to form a what now? Presenter. Not Fadi Fafoi? No, not Fadi Fafoi.

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286.92 - 287.563 Manaia Stewart

Then I don't care.

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Chapter 7: What was the creative process behind the Mint Chicks' album?

289.009 - 289.43 Manaia Stewart

Okay. Siobhan?

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289.953 - 290.555 Jeremy Wells

No, not Siobhan.

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290.575 - 292.242 Manaia Stewart

Nah, it's not that look, is it?

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293.302 - 295.885 Jeremy Wells

Okay. I bet you can't guess. Keep going.

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295.905 - 314.208 Manaia Stewart

I bet you can't guess. Oh, okay. Jason Gunn. No. Thingy. No. I know who it is. I've got it. I've got it. No, I am going to guess. Props Boy. Props Boy. Yes. It's Props Boy. Yes. I know Props Boy. I'm propping a bit of boy. Where the hell did he get... We should get him on the podcast.

Chapter 8: What are the future plans for the podcast and its name?

314.228 - 316.331 Manaia Stewart

Where the hell did the idea for Props Boy come from?

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316.351 - 327.404 Jeremy Wells

Well, I think he was just working on the show and then he had that hat. I remember those hats. He had the hat first and then he built... I'm pretty sure. Props Boy's on my cricket team. Bowled good pace, actually. He's a good bowler.

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327.424 - 328.285 Manaia Stewart

Did he bowl with the hat on?

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328.325 - 335.073 Jeremy Wells

No. Nobody knew it was Props Boy bowling to them, but he bowls a good line and length, man. That's what they've always said.

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335.093 - 354.776 Manaia Stewart

And it hits the bat quite hard. This is the scary thing about playing social cricket in New Zealand. You never know if Props Boy's bowling it. Props Boy's useful. What is he useful? He's also aggressive. Would have been an annoying sledge if they did know he was Props Boy. Everything he did. Good one, Props Boy. On you, Props Boy. Good, Props Boy. Good lines there, Props. Do you know what?

354.796 - 363.396 Manaia Stewart

Do we even have time to go over the... We're looking for a new name for the podcast. There's a post in the conclave. Do we have time to go through this or should we hold it off? Well, we can't talk about it on Friday.

363.416 - 364.457 Jeremy Wells

I reckon we've got time.

364.477 - 384.614 Manaia Stewart

We've got time. Okay, sweet. We've been talking about potentially renaming the podcast. At one point, it was unofficially dubbed the casserole. Yeah. And before I joined the show, it was the bespoke-y- Daily bespoke. Daily bespoke podcast. Yeah, the casserole was a whole lot of things boiling away in a pot. Yeah, which was a great summary of what it was.

385.115 - 408.336 Manaia Stewart

But it wasn't a strong statement of what the podcast was. Yeah. And- Now we don't have it, even when we sit in meetings, how many times, we're about to do it after this, how many times have we sat there and gone, so on the podcast, and hold on, do you mean the show highlight? Is it the radio show podcast or the podcast podcast?

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