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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
The Haraki Breakfast gets set for winter with Bunnings Trade.
Jeremy Wells and Minaya Stewart. The Hauraki Breakfast.
Welcome along to the Hauraki Breakfast. It's Friday the 22nd of May, 2026. Two little ducks, 22. My name's Jeremy Wells. This is Manai Stewart. Good morning, Jeremy Wells, and good morning and welcome to the show, Mashi. Morning, boys. Morning, boys. Morning, New Zealand. Welcome back. Mashi's back pushing the buttons with his hands this morning. Are we live?
Check, check, one, two, three, four, eight, three. Is that the text number still? That is. How would we know? We'll get in touch. We'd love to know if we are currently on air. 0800 Haraki is also the number to call. Zoe will be womaning the phones in Studio B. Oh, womaning the phones. Yep. Very progressive, this show.
Nice, boys. You'll learn that.
Wow, good for you guys. Thanks, Zoe. Yeah, she woman's the phones in a particularly different way than, say, you used to man the phones. We used to boy the phones back in the day, didn't we?
Okay, I didn't know.
You boyed all over them. No, I didn't boil over them. There were allegations coming out of Studio B, but they were never true. You smelt like a student flat in there. You sat in there with a bloody half-mongrel all morning. It was just disgusting. All right, what's on the show today? So much stuff. So much stuff.
The only thing written down is MASH can no longer drive due to the NZ Police commitment to roadside drug testing. This weekend it's rolling out, so keep your head down, mate. Here's Soundgarden on the Haddocky Breakfast. Five past six, welcome along. Jerry and Mania, the Hauraki breakfast. This will be interesting to you, Mash.
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Chapter 2: What humorous moments occurred during the show?
Right, okay. So where you used to just skate through with your bloodshot eyes, they can now test for all that kind of stuff. Cannabis, methamphetamine... MDMA. MDMA? Cocaine. If you're getting behind the wheel on MDMA, that's an aggressive drive you're about to take. So you're all good to go if you're on the mushies? Yeah. Sweet, that's good. I can't test for that.
No, they're not testing for that. Heroin? Nah, sweet as. K-hole? Nah, ketamine doesn't mean that you're fine on the K. I mean, if there's some drugs you don't want to drive on? Mushrooms. Yeah. LSD, do not drive on those drugs. Well, but now because of the new rules, I'm forced to. Alcohol? No, they don't like alcohol.
If I was to rank the priorities that I think they should be taking, I'd go number one, probably LSD. That feels problematic behind the wheel.
Heroin. Heroin.
You fall asleep. It's not good. Ketamine, loss of motor function. Cannabis I get. You know, you're moving a bit slower in that kind of mindset, but at the same time, you know, if you've been doing it for a while. Yeah, although you don't know how fast you're going necessarily. I think it does impair you.
I did hear of some friends who were driving impaired under the influence of cannabis at one point. They thought they were going too fast, so they slowed right down to where some other friends of mine actually could walk up beside the car, and they banged their hand on the window, and the driver's like... That's a hell of a prank to play.
There's a zombie travelling along beside us at 60 k's an hour. No, no, you're going four. Yeah, up Hyde Street, driving up a broken glass.
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about the new roadside drug testing laws?
It's terrifying. I mean, cocaine really is like, if someone takes some cocaine and drives, does it really impair you that much? Well, according to Transport Minister Chris Bishop, it does. MDMA, yes. Drug impaired drivers linked to around 40% of crashes. Yeah, but which ones? Which drugs? Don't point at me. Oh, which drugs. Sorry, I thought you meant which people.
Because you're saying that it's just 30%, but which drugs have contributed to the crashes? Like, for example, people that have been up for like five days on the meth. Yeah. That's a terrible idea to drive. It is a bad idea to drive. Terrible. Yeah, 100%. And so how many of those 30% are people that have been awake for days and days on meth, for example? That's a great point.
Do you subscribe to the theory that a cop will never pull you over on one of the main motorways during peak commuter times? Yes. Yeah, that's what I, of course, tend to think. Particularly if you're in the furthest right lane, it's going to be very hard to get across four lanes to try and... Well, you can't run a, let's be honest, you can't run a full breath test in rush hour, can you? No.
Because it'll cause a terrible traffic disturbance. Yeah, it will. So you'd have to think no. Well, that's just throwing Mashi's weekend plans into disarray. So how are they testing? Is it a breath thing or is it a swab? It's a swab. It's a swab. Oral fluid. And they also are going to test for high amounts of zinc. So you're in trouble, Mishy. All I have is just pop one this morning.
That's us wiped out for this morning then, Jerry. Why don't you go and pop one of those things in, Jerry? You should try one of these. I don't like the idea of the nicotine high particularly. I mean, even though I smoked for 20 years, I didn't really love the nicotine high thing. Yeah, but did you do it at 6.12am while you were at work? Just to get you up in the morning? Try that, mate.
I'd have a ciggy before breakfast back in the day. So he should have crossed the road to the... Oh well. Is the BSA still going or are we... It is actually. It's going for another couple of months. Jerry and Minaya, the Hauraki breakfast. Mash, have you seen this before, this thing that's in my hand here? Yeah, what is that? This is the football analysis headband.
So, I mean, you follow football a little bit. You would have seen, there's a thing in the football community around having long hair that whips you in the eyes, so you've got to put a headband in. Yep, the Jack Grealish. Yes, and so when you do that, it increases your knowledge of the game. Oh, does it?
We conducted an experiment yesterday where we asked Jerry to explain the offside rule and he couldn't. Until he put the football analysis headband on, which he's donning right now. My goodness me, there's a light breeze that's just picked up in the studio as you've put that on. Yeah, he looks like he's about to either ski downhill or he's about to analyse some football.
I was just about to explain the offside rule to Mesh. It looks a little bit like you're heading into the dressing room of Gay Bar on Ponsonby Road though.
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Chapter 4: What fitness advice is shared during the episode?
Leg over and then get nowhere and go to bed. Yeah, that's my night. So similar sort of issues that we're facing. I think these are universal. This is anyone in a long-term relationship. And so our thing is we will come home and often we'll just sit at either end of the couch and, you know, go on your phone. There'll be something on the TV.
But basically, and it's to the point where instead of just showing her something funny I found on my phone, I'll just send it to her. She can watch it from the other side of the couch. She can watch it at her leisure. And I thought, well, let's do something to bring us together. She likes...
playing a bit of playstation i like playing a bit of playstation i was like let's try playing it together and so we played this game it's called it takes two and it's a split screen game designed for couples where you play as a couple and you you know you go through and you fight the bad guys and you get to jump from thing to thing and blah blah blah
And the whole idea is that everything is, you've got to work together to get through it. Wow. Yeah. I can see this either going very well or very badly. Well, this is the issue. So the two characters in the game are a husband and wife going through a divorce. What? Yeah. So I thought this was going to be this beautiful moment for us to come together.
What actually happens is, so for one of the levels, it's you've got to jump across ceiling fans because you're miniature.
I do it. I jump across, bop, bop, bop. And then I've got to sit there for half an hour and watch her fall off the thing, fall off it again, fall off it again. Oh, bugger it. Just give me the controller. I'll do it. Then we get to the end.
Then it plays a little cut scene of a couple going through a divorce, having a heated argument.
And then I'm just like, oh, turn this bloody thing off. I can't. After a full day's work and then you come home and you're like, I just want to relax, to then have an argument with your missus while playing PlayStation while they're having an argument on the TV too.
Well, to argue about a game that's about arguing. Oh, my God. It's so stressful.
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Chapter 5: What are the top five Jerrys mentioned in the episode?
No, she took it from the stationery. Yeah, whilst it's at work, it's communal. Yeah. She can put it on her desk, but then someone else can borrow it as well. Yeah. And that's what I'm doing as well. Daniel Fattah was a shocker for it.
You've had a run in with a label maker? Oh yeah, we've got a lot of label makers here in this building. And what they tend to do is they get a label maker and then they label just general items and around headphones, anything else. I discovered the label maker. Let's just say his name's Ed or Swifty. Let's call him Swifty.
So I discovered the source of the label making and I found the label maker which had his name on it. So he labelled the label maker. Oh, that's the Holy Grail.
This is what I was looking for, yeah.
It was full inception. And then so as in a childish piece of spite, I basically. It's not like you. I just labelled everything on his desk, his screen, his pens, his keyboard, his chair. Oh, he would have been cracking up about it. What a great gig. I was cracking up. Yep. Not so much. Or Swifty, sorry.
I was left in charge unaccompanied of a label maker setting up for a mate's wedding recently. Oh, yeah. And long-term listeners of the show or the Agenda podcast will be familiar with the time your son was disciplined for his line-out call. where it had to be a number and an animal, and he settled on 69 dog shit.
It brought the team to its knees, but the coach was not happy.
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. So when I was left alone with this label maker, and I was told to label the bottom of all of these things that had to be laid out, every second one just had 69 dog shit written on it.
I didn't know where to put anything.
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