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Chapter 1: What wine are Jerry and Manaia trying on Wine Cellar Wednesday?
The Hodaki Breakfast. Build big with the wide range at Bunnings Trade.
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Every dick data has been a tea teller. That's a good point, Manai. Welcome along to the Hodaki Breakfast. It's Wednesday the 22nd of April, 2026. Two little ducks. 22. My name's Jeremy Wells. This is Manai Stewart.
All the sixes, clickety-clicksers. I don't understand. Yeah, what is that about every dictator being a teetotaler? I do not know. What are you afraid of? I do not know. You're doing all that stuff sober.
I suppose when you're just that desperate for power, you can't be hungover.
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Chapter 2: How do Jerry and Manaia feel about the questionable wine?
Because you let your guard down. Oh, that's a good point. You know, in those moments, you've got nothing. You're just like, I just can't be bothered pushing ahead here.
That was really insensitive of me to completely neglect the workload of a dictator and how hard that might be to be hung over. Mate, it's hard being a dictator. And also, like, are healthy choices only for people that I agree with? No. I think dictators can make healthy life choices too.
Everybody's coming at you the whole time, trying to topple you. Yeah. You've got to have your guard up. You've got to be ready. And certainly after sinking a whole lot of export ultras, the next day, if you've sunk 55 of them, you're not probably going to be your best.
No, very easy to get toppled, I suppose. It's a good point. Something I don't have to consider. We've solved that problem. Is getting toppled. Hump Day, Monday, Tuesday, did we win them?
What happened? I think so. I think we won Tuesday. We certainly didn't lose badly. No. If we did lose, it was a narrow loss. All right, well, let's win this one then. It was a torrid affair, I think.
Jerrion Mania, The Hodaki Breakfast.
What is going on?
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Chapter 3: What challenges are proposed against the Big Show?
I was just trying to read the newspaper, but I can't read. But there was a picture of Chris Luxon on there. Christopher Luxon. I saw on the news last night they had a three-hour robust discussion. Robust conversation. They asked one of the MPs how robust was it, and he goes, robust.
Robust.
What does robust mean? So does that mean that people are honest? Yeah. Does that mean honest and frank?
I think it was pretty frank. The other thing that would have happened in there, it went for three hours. They rallied around the family with a pocket full of shells, but they also brought... I think they brought everyone from all four corners of the planet to have their say. Now, these are politicians, so every single one of them's got something to say.
Yeah, of course. And it was the National Party Caucus. So the National Party Caucus means all of the people who are National Party MPs. So all the MPs get together in a room, just the MPs, and then a couple of randoms, but not many randoms. So it's just... The people who have been elected. Yeah, right.
And then they all have a say and they talk about the leadership and then they talk about where the party's going and all that sort of stuff. And it's meant to be confidential. So nothing that gets said inside of caucus is leaked.
It should be because you can't be like, go into caucus and be like, hey, we're going to invade Antarctica tomorrow. And then the media's in there and they give Antarctica the heads up. Now they've got bloody... Polar bears and machine guns.
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Chapter 4: What insights do they share about dictators and their habits?
So the difference between just to- Before you tell me they don't have polar bears there, they also don't have machine guns there, right?
The difference, just to be clear, the difference between the caucus and the cabinet. So the cabinet is all of the ministers who have portfolios. So that's the list of MPs as well? No, the cabinet is just the ministers. So if you're the minister of education and you're the minister of health and all of those people, so they have a portfolio. So that's the higher thing, right? Okay.
They make all the decisions. The caucus just makes the decision for the party. It comes from Caucasian, the people.
And so at the moment, the caucus is only the National Party, but some of the cabinet could be people from New Zealand First. Yep, that's right. So it's just the National Party. Okay, now tell me this. This is another word that's come to my attention in the last week. The whip.
Oh, the whip. The whip organises the party, gets the numbers together to do votes on bills. So when they pass a bill, he gets the people together and says, OK, what's everyone doing? How are we voting?
So he would have run what you would assume would be quite an important vote yesterday. He would have been there running that.
Normally the whip is involved in that. Yes. The whip's quite an important job, actually. They whip everybody into shape, whip everybody into voting where they're going to vote. Sometimes they're conscience votes, so you vote wherever you want.
Okay, so he showed up yesterday and did his job?
No, he didn't. He had the whip. This is important. He had a long-standing appointment. Okay. So he had to go to a long-standing appointment. What would be an appointment that would be so long-standing that you wouldn't go to the most important meeting of the year for your job? Would you say an MRI or you think you'd reschedule an MRI? They're quite hard to get.
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Chapter 5: How does Jerry's dad's wine collection come into play?
myself so yeah um so that's a long-standing appointment would you would you miss would you miss a work very important it was mainly about you would you miss that no and in fact that's why i got spat out of the system because i it was the appointment they offered me was during work they're like oh you're gonna restart the whole process again it's like bugger so i came to work yeah okay that's what i did now the people that run the country what do they do what about a colonoscopy
you could get another one couldn't you you'd probably line another one of those up yeah if you went to if you went to the appointment say for example and said hey um look i know i've got a hair trim um haircut beard trim booked in i know i've booked them for the foils um fate of the nation's on the line do you mind if we reschedule surely people would be understanding i just i wonder what that appointment is yeah
And why you wouldn't say what it was?
Is that like a Botox at the Casey Clinic?
I don't know. Are those hard to get?
I don't know.
I know the new Michael Jackson movies are out this week. Maybe he's a massive Michael Jackson fan and he got himself into one of the premieres. There was a few of them going around yesterday. That's a good point. Not a lot of them on at 9am. True, but maybe it was just for him. Maybe it was a private screening of the Michael Jackson documentary.
Was it a crown or something? Was he getting a crown at the dentist? There's nothing like it. I reckon a hygienist. I'm just working out what that appointment was. It's got to be... I guess he's going to be asked that question at some stage today.
Well, anyway, Luxon came out afterwards and said, I've forced my employees to take a vote on how cool I am. And they've all said I'm very cool. So that'll be the end of the media speculation now. Yeah, no more questions, Your Honour.
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Chapter 6: What are the characteristics of the 1982 Wolf Blass wine?
You make your own choices. You can't force anyone to do anything. The fact he's never even had a drink, I think, is a bit weird. I think a lot of people find that weird. And I think he should have come out with an export ultra in his hand and a rug. He should have worn a wig. And I think that's also a problem. I think the complete baldness is an issue. And just...
Turned it around and just come out and not mentioned anything. Come out with a rug and a beer and said, you know, that motion was passed confirming what I've been saying. I've got the full support of my caucus as a leader. You know, this is a bloody media soap opera. You know, if the media want to keep focusing on speculation and rumour, I'm not going to engage.
All that sort of crap that he wielded. But he's got a rug and he's got an Export Ultra in his hand.
Crush that Export Ultra against your forehead. Yeah.
no more questions and people and people because imagine if you're there as a media and you're like he's clearly wearing a wig i would have started i would have started cheering i just i don't think and then people look back and then all of a sudden the national went and all of a sudden started polling better and people said it was the it was the export ultra wig moment there'll be a documentary down the track and they'll go you know what it was when he came out with that wig it changed everything no one predicted it it wasn't fitting properly
He'll be on Stephen Colbert next week.
The greatest political move of all time.
Simple.
It's time for Old Dudes Name Years. What year are you naming today?
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Chapter 7: What tasting notes do they provide for the old wine?
Yeah, it's not the baby boom anymore. It's sort of tailed off. Gen X. Then they tried to call millennials Gen Y for a little bit. That didn't stick. Millennials stuck because we were there for the turn of the millennium. And like I said, Gen Z is Zoe.
Why Gen Z? Why not Y?
Well, because millennials were Y. But they were millennials.
They renamed them.
Just said that.
Am I losing my mind here? They didn't end up sticking with that, though, so why not keep it with the next one?
Oh, yeah. Well, some people apparently still call millennials Gen Y. Then Gen Z. Then you ran out, so we started the alphabet again. So that's Gen Alpha, which is your kids. Come up with a new Y Gen. And then Generation Beta, which is your kids' kids.
Well, okay, but they haven't been yet. Congratulations to you and your kids. So, okay, so Zoe's Gen Z. Yep, Gen Zoe. And do we know the different traits for all of these people?
Yep. Gen Z, true digital natives, highly connected and socially conscious. Millennials, first generation to grow up with personal computers and social media.
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Chapter 8: What humorous anecdotes arise during the wine tasting?
Because to your kids, you would probably come across as a boomer. Yeah. Totally, I'm a boomer. My kids call me that. Robin's just texted, imagine being the generation after Alpha, so the Alpha males for all the world, and then the next generation are the Beta males. Oh, yeah. Beta cucks. Yeah.
So, yeah, Gen X, that's you fellas, millennial me, and we've got all three of the main generations represented on the show.
Well, we've got what? So me, I'm a boomer. Then we've got Generation X. We've got four. We've got four. We just need to get into the Generation Alpha because I worry about Generation Alpha. I worry about that lot. The TikTok generation. Yeah, they're the ones that grew up with phones. They were brought up by phones. Phones as friends, phones as parents. Phones as central partners.
Jerry and Mania. The whole lucky breakfast.
Time for your latest sport headlines. Thanks to Export Ultra, the beer for here. The Warriors have named a largely unchanged side for Saturday's NRL league match against the Dolphins in Wellington. Who we got? Tane Tupiki will start at fullback. After Chance Nickel Clockstar was ruled out with a neck injury.
Yeah, he's been in the wars, man. Obviously he was out with a, they were saying a head injury, but it looked like his neck got cranked. Then in the most recent game, someone came flying over the top of the ruck upside down and slammed into both his head and his leg at the same time. I was like, I don't know, we go, oh, geez, so-and-so had a quiet game.
And then you go and watch it and you're like, he's been through five car crashes. And that's a muscly leg. Oh, yeah. That's a muscly leg. It's not like he bumped into mine, bloody, you know.
Although mine kind of look like his, I don't know. Chanel Harris-Tavita is poised to run out for his 100th game. Wow. In front of a sold-out crowd. He's young, isn't he? CHT? I just call him CHT.
Yeah, you do. You always have. You were calling him TH, so you tried to smoke him the other day. Chanel's just got one N, by the way. Yeah. It's not Channel. Well, I have heard people call him Channel. Warriors players, and it makes me wonder.
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