The Hoely Hour
Episodes
E66 Show Me The CUMFAX
10 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Airtags, now sponsored by Joe from YOU! Apparently Airtags are another new and horrifying way your ex or a sex trafficker can start keeping tabs on yo...
E65 Pimp My P*ssy
03 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
MTV's newest version of Pimp My Ride! Unlock a new fear or two and discover butt fluff, a nice word for having uh... a hairy brown eye. A listener wri...
E64 Ghost Condoms
26 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do ghosts have STD's? Let us know. The girls take us back down memory lane and remind us of a time in our early 20s where putting a Jolly Rancher in a...
E63 Wronged & Broken!
19 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to the church of Don't Be A Fckin' Shtty Person! Liz does a dramatic reading from the ultra-religious ex-lover of a listener, as a treat. Prep...
E62 French My Dumps
12 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Amelia helps kick off the show by dropping straight BARS. You've heard of OnlyFans, you've heard of FarmersOnly, but have you heard of OnlyFarmers? It...
E61 Goldilocks and the Three Dicks
05 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Hold onto your hats, people! Liz and Amelia waste no time diving in deep, maybe a little TOO deep, into a traumatic butt plug story, reminding us all ...
E60 Vaginal Air Quotes
29 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to The Hoely Hour but sPoOoOkYy! Liz and Amelia read a creepy ghost story from a listener and talk about the same weird nightmare they both ha...
E59 Pictionary Catfish
22 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
FINALLY an episode ferda boys (because no one makes anything for men)! Amelia and Liz share the hidden secret to solving the problem of different sex ...
E58 A Mukbang Blackout
15 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We got through all of 2020 without having to record remotely, but our time has come. Join your (clearly) geriatric hosts on a voyage through technolog...
E57 Solosode By Amelia
08 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Amelia is hosting alone for the first time ever. She also edited the episode for the first time ever. She is also writing this summary for the first t...
E56 Daddy? Sorry. Daddy?
01 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Amelia would like Dr. Phil to cash her outside, how bout that. What's the most egregious red flag you've ignored in a relationship? Women are far more...
E55 Screw the Man, Man!
24 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What does it mean if a creepy guy takes a picture of you without your permission and sends it to his friends? Asking for ourselves... Liz and Amelia b...
E54 Megan Fox Renaissance
18 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
AMELIA IS BACK! What would beard trends be if women grew beards? The girls talk about Megan Fox and MGK (bi panic) living everyone's ultimate teenage ...
E53 Becoming a Disney Villian
11 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's the best day of the week! It's another shorty episode featuring an important message from Amelia about focusing on mental health. Liz reveals her...
E52 Jerkoff Transcendence
03 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We're back from a Hot Girl Summer and ready for Goth Girl Fall. Liz and Amelia kick of the show with a conversation about therapy and existential drea...
E51 Babysode By Liz
27 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
WE'RE (almost) BACK! We missed you so much that we just couldn't wait to share a mini episode with you. Liz reads an update from a listener who wrote ...
E50 Sex Is Cool But Jesus Is Cooler
30 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Crack my neck daddy! Why are chiropractors all hot but also sexual? Update: a hymen is meaningless and scientifically useless. Have you lost your squi...
E49 Finding Mr. Tinkle
23 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The girls cover a topic they should have covered a long time ago: squirting. And also, the refreshing lemon-lime soda, Squirt. Liz and Amelia read som...
E48 Weddings, Marriage, and Bears! Oh My!
16 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Finally, an episode no one asked for: two unmarried women talking about weddings and marriage! The girls had a wild night out, and Amelia almost died ...
E47 Bullies: Where Are They Now?
09 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"I'm so straight, I f*ck tits." - teenage boys. Have you heard of water bondage? It's basically what would happen if your dentist's office w...
E46 Cheating! The Musical
02 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's time we finally talk about cheaters, and not the bad daytime television show. Amelia and Liz open up about their first-hand experiences with chea...
E45 Thot Leaders
25 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
WE HAVE A PATREON! So now you can officially support your local hoe-stesses. Liz talks about her sex drive fluctuation (thanks, depression and anxiety...
E44 Hot Tea for Hotties
18 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The tea is hot, Liz's apartment is hot, you're hot... it's a hot episode. Liz threatens cruel and unusual punishment to anyone who breaks Amelia's hea...
E43 IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY!
11 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We're rolling into our very first birthday like 2 Chainz, bring out the big booty hoez and champagne. Have you guys heard of docking? All the Mormon k...
E42 CEO of Being That B*tch
04 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to another episode of "spiraling out but make it fashion." The girls read a really great listener email about a unique dating c...
E41 Bring Your Own Vibrator
28 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you grunt at the gym like a cave man? Let's talk about baby names. Were you named something completely normal and still teased by little asshole ch...
E40 Undercover F*cker
20 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to The Hungover Hour. Bestie of the Pod, Anna, calls in with a v important question: who even has sex under the covers? Also if you get a peri...
E39 BDSeMpisode
14 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Grab your ball-gag and your strap-on, because we’re getting kinky. It’s finally here: an episode that’s all about BDSM, featuring guest Kinky Ka...
E38 The F*ckboi Spectrum
07 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Buckle up folks, maybe get near a trashcan or something because the girls kick off today's episode with a truly repulsive story from Reddit about what...
E37 Microdosing Orgasms
29 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Have you heard of a Trevi Fountain shot? It's when you let all the vaccinated people in a bar spit in your mouth. Fellas, sign up for our new app &quo...
E36 D*ck Pic Art Critic
23 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Fellas, is it gay to kiss a girl after she goes down on you? We have the perfect MLM opportunity for YOU! Get your heart broken and start living your ...
E35 Therapy with your Fun Drunk Aunts
16 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever wanted your therapist to also be three drunk girls? Today they are! Madison is our first guest EVER, and a fellow therapized hottie. She...
E34 Consent is my Kink Pt. 2
09 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to part 2 of the Consent is my Kink series for Sexual Assault Awareness Month! The girls analyze parts of the movie "Promising Young Woma...
E33 Consent is my Kink - Pt. 1
01 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. We are doing a two-part episode series for the month of April in an effort to help bring awareness to issues ...
E32 Does the Beard Match the Pubes?
27 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
IT'S FRIDAY BABY! We're reminiscing on some of our favorite moments in our earlier episodes! Amelia once heard that men's beards are correlated to how...
E31 Inner Monoliz
19 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to your inner monoliz, where Liz just says her inner thoughts out loud while Amelia is OOO. Finding work-life balance can be a struggle especi...
E30 A Black Hole of Pleasure
11 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It’s 30, flirty, and thirsty Thursday, babes. Grab a bevy because the weekend is starting early! Your exes are just as insane as ours, and we have t...
E29 All Men Are Florida Man
04 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to Florida, where the population is exclusively men and crocodiles! The FBI works hard but Liz works harder. Liz catches her Scorpio ex being ...
E28 Big Simpin'
26 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Mommy White Claws: It's not like a regular White Claw, it's a cool White Claw. Because it's loaded with vodka. You heard it here first folks: if you a...
E27 'Zilla D*ck
19 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We're popping champagne this Thirsty Thursday because WE JOINED A NETWORK! What kinds of things radiate Big D*ck Energy? If he does these things, he f...
E26 Your 20's Are a Scam
11 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Drugs are bad, mmkay? Lifehack: call how you want to be treated a "kink." Sisqo is in the house, lemme see that thong! Do you remember your ...
E25 Frenchfry D*ck & Ketchup T*tties
28 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Beam us up, Daddy! The girls talk about their biggest tinfoil-hat-theories and Liz reveals she dated a conspiracy theorist. Can you log semen on My Fi...
E24 A Dry Hump Pregnancy
22 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
What’s spookier than a pregnancy scare? Nothing. Except for when Amelia used to think she could get pregnant from dry humping. The girls talk all ab...
E23 Gas Station D*ck Pills
15 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever had an acid-enduced threesome after taking a gas station d*ck pill? Spoiler: your bowels will protest. Amelia updates us on some very in...
E22 Men Could NEVER
30 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Liz had a run-in with Gordon Ramsay in Vegas and would pay him to be called an idiot sandwich. The Hoely Hour gets biblical! Who is Lilith, why was sh...
E21 Never Trust a Magician
18 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Amelia tells a hookup horror story about a man who read her his joke ideas for a non-existent stand-up set after their bone dance. Liz shares how she ...
E20 BDSM, Red Robin & Crying
11 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
On Prozac 40 hours a week, you could call us Pro-fessionals. Join us for some real talk girl talk about mental health and growth. Also, can you be hot...
E19 The Orgasm Gap is Crazy
04 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Guess who's back? It's not slim shady, but they do be throwing shade. How far have your internet creeping abilities taken you? Also, Liz challenges a ...
E18 Buttplugs & Heartbreaks
11 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Buttplugs & Heartbreaks—it's not Beerbongs & Bentleys but it's close! Seriously though, have you considered some booty jewelry? Liz recommen...
E17 Smell Your Balls
23 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It's our HALLOWEEN EPISODE! What's scarier than a pair of sweaty balls? The bacteria living in beards. Yes, you read that right. Prepare to be traumat...
E16 The Catch & Release Program
09 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Would you want to share your birthday with your partner? Probably not if you're a Gemini and a Libra. (DEFINITELY not a Leo...) This episode, Amelia a...
E15 A Bussy Fleshlight
01 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Posting pics of your relationship - is it cute or are you compensating? Amelia and Liz discover the shocking extent of fleshlights. Be warned, you wil...
E14 F*ck You Right & Treat You Wrong
24 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Cry to win an argument! Just kidding please don't do that. Get Amelia on your side to win an argument for you. Did you ever have a drifter pathologica...
E13 You Oughta Know
16 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Have y'all heard of The Matrix? Watch out, Theresa Caputo, Amelia is the new witch in town! Amelia and Liz talk red flags, and Liz finally talks about...
The New Testament E3
10 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this mini episode, Liz and Amelia read what is unofficially known as "Hinge Cringe." The girls read good, bad, and mostly ugly Hinge prom...
E12 Bop that WAP
02 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Yes folks, you read that right, bop that WAP. Trust us. Or well, trust Liz, at least. A listener asked us to talk more in depth about therapy! We answ...
E11 Lactating into the 5th Dimension
26 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Move over, Neil deGrasse Tyson! Amelia and Liz have discovered the secret to opening the 5th dimension. The girls read a relationship horror story, ta...
E10 Emotional Awareness, The Restaurant
19 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Come on down to Schlongs for brunch! It's like Hooters, where straight women can show everyone how straight they are while eating a meal. Are you read...
E9 The Jane Austen of Sh*ts
12 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This podcast is now hosted by two 12-year-old boys, featuring farts and bewbs. If you want six-pack abs, start holding in your farts at the gym. Refer...
E8 Just Smoked a Mouse
06 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dentists know when you’ve just given head! Is breakup sex a bad idea or a terrible idea? And why do so many things look phallic? Amelia and Liz talk...
E7 The Tony Hawk of Jumping Onto Sh*t
29 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The D.A.R.E. program worked really well on these girls. What's a DABs of the Week and is it you? You NEED to add cursing your exes to your skincare ro...
E6 The Good Word
22 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Excuse me, do you have a few minutes to talk about The Good Word of Aftercare? The girls talk about what aftercare is and why everyone should be doing...
The New Testament E2
13 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Amelia stars in Crank and keeps her heart rate up in a unique way while she drives, and Liz wants to be crushed by a brick house like the Wicked Witch...
E5 The Whisper 'Sode
08 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know what your "focus face" looks like? Is your man the Jackson Pollock of ejaculation? Do you love this shit? Are you high right now...
E4 NP (Rated) R
01 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The internet’s hottest podcast is The Hoely Hour. This episode has everything: glory sheets, cheating married men, trouser ejaculation, Jack Nichols...
The New Testament E1
29 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Different sex drives, public sex, and dates with dictators who just really love chili. The girls give candid updates on their love lives and read stor...
E3 How I DM'd Your Mother
25 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Thirst traps so good, dudes wanna meet you like his name is Ted Mosby. Social media FBI agents Liz and Amelia share how to find out if someone’s ex ...
E2 A Sad, Dry Handjob
17 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Soulmates, 2nd draft picks, and dumb fucks with fish, oh my! The girls talk about some of their weirdest dating app experiences and give advice to a l...
E1 We're Your Boyfriends Now
10 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Meet your hosts! Amelia had a poster of her crush under her bed, Liz watches porn on mute, and you're lying if you say you've never cried listening to...