IBIZA 2026, NAKED PAELLA AND ASH GOES WILD
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What is the story behind the “naked paella” revelation?
The Jack and Ash show Skyvers moment is on the way in just a minute. But before we get into it, if you're looking for a way to avoid your next hangover, G from Leave a Message with Ali and G has been testing out a different hack. She tried a shot of her mate's freshly pumped breast milk. Did it work? Well, I'll leave that to G to explain on the latest episode. When this is done, get Leave a Message lined up to play next. This week on Help, I sexted my boss. I did have a briefcase at the end of prep school. You were literally Will from the Inbetweeners, weren't you? I have a message from someone who would beg to differ. They're telling us what you were really like at school. Hello, Jordan. Hello, William. James, William's brother here.
Dressed in my school uniform leaving the house today with my parents in the house was weird. It was a bit of a brain thing for
them. Hang on, hang on a second. You didn't get
on the tube like that, did you? Listen and watch wherever you get your podcasts.
Ibiza is a magical rock, it's a crystal, so of course it's got this, like, powerful energy and stuff, and I'm like,
yeah. It's completely
right. It causes you to just shell it. Well...
It's a morse! And then he went, HSBC blocked.
He blocked
HSBC. Guys, the story I'm about to tell you... Oh, my God.
Cookie Monster.
Cookie Monster. The story I'm about to tell you is demonic. Jack and I. No, Ash and Chad. Fine, proper wig on. A thong. Get ready for a chat. Tea.
Hello, I am a naked paella.
I knew you were going to say that. Did you? Yeah, I knew you. And I'm a gambas pill pill. It's pretty on me. Basically.
I've completely done 183, 65, 47, 20. I am now obsessed with paella.
There was a point
in the restaurant. Sorry, I've got
almond croissant in me gob. There was a point in the restaurant when you had your coming around and your like big moment
with paella. My jaw fell
off. Yeah. Yes. When
I was
trying to say that you did a 180, but obviously I went, shit, I'm definitely going to get
it
wrong. What did you say? Well, I was sitting there and I was going, 3, 1, 8, 3,
60. Square the root, carry the 2.
Square the root, carry the 1. You have done a 50 on Paella.
You didn't say 50. Yeah,
and you missed it. And then I went, and I went, thank fuck he missed it. And then I got to redo.
And now you're airing out your dirty maths. I
got to redo. So it was very much Lemony Snicket. Quick, give me the line again. Why
is it pressing my
mind? And I went, you've done a complete 180 on Paella.
So guys, this is...
It's
an amazing night. Exactly a year ago, we started this pod. The very first episode was Ibiza 2025 recap, and it was pretty on me. If you've not watched it, listen to it. I implore you. Now we've come to it and we've said, right, we're going to do it all over again. But this time, because of the path that this podcast has taken over the last year, there's going to be no chronology. Last year we were like, right, the Wednesday we did this, the Thursday we did that. Unfortunately, that's not happening this year. Fuck them kids. Fuck them kids and fuck you too. So the very final night, I realised that paella is the most incredible thing in the world when it is without clothes.
Which by the way,
which most things
are. Me every evening in my own home. Shell-less. Shell-less, deboned. Shell-less. De-boned, it's crazy.
De-boned, do you think that does mean not shagged?
Where's
my man? I've been de-boned again, my man's fallen asleep. So, it
was a meow. De-boned and de-shelled. What I'm saying to you, what I couldn't believe, when we were looking at this menu, right, because we hadn't had a paella all week on the holiday.
Friend to no man, or so I thought. Because you hate it. I put it in the same category as weddings. And
the whole time, every time, they were coming out with these massive, fishy prawny dishes I thought oh my god I want that fishy on that dishy and right now
and when the boat comes in too that's what
I'm saying but but you can't really have one to yourself because it's always a sharing
legally you can't it says two person minimum and they love to brandish that across your ass
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the story behind the “naked paella” revelation?
0:02–7:12
2
How did the Lovey‑Do Concierge service start and what went wrong?
7:12–15:56
3
What crazy moments happened on the pirate boat adventure?
15:56–23:59
4
Why did the group end up stranded after the night on the strip?
23:59–33:59
5
How did the “amoeba” metaphor shape the episode’s vibe?
33:59–42:10
6
What were the highlights of the final night’s karaoke and dessert binge?
42:10–49:55
7
How did the hosts wrap up the Ibiza 2026 recap and tease future plans?
49:55–58:52
8
What shout‑outs, fan messages, and closing jokes capped the episode?
58:52–1:07:01
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from The Jack & Ash Show
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