How To Handle a Toxic Boss
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How do I know I’m dealing with a toxic or disrespectful boss?
Who out there has a boss? I'm not talking to any kind of boss. I mean the dirt snake in the grass, rude, disrespectful, mean, critical, micromanaging, know-it-all boss. If you have one of those, this episode is for you. Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher podcast. Today I'm kicking it in the truck today because I feel passionate about something, y'all, and that is when you have people in your life that you are working with or for, and they love to remind you that you work for them, you have a choice, and that is whether or not you still work for this person. You have a choice. I'm going to give you some phrases. And we're going to deep dive into some strategies into this episode of how to handle the disrespectful boss.
What to say to them, what to think about it. Here's what I want you to know first. Number one, you have a choice of where you want to work, of who you want to work with or for. And if you are the type of person that when push comes to shove and you're having a hard time, confrontation and you're sitting in their office and they're seeing all these things and being really, really critical, you have two choices. One, you can just take it. You can take it and just go on about your day. Or you feel, I would say that's kind of middle of the road. You just, you take it, right? Or you do something with it, meaning we're going to go step forward into this moment and say something about it, be direct about it.
Or you just totally lay down and you get totally walked over and you get totally smushed every single time. Every egg gets cracked because they just walk right over you and you feel like, man, this is exactly... I have to take it and deal with it, and this is horrible. You will never gain the confidence you want by simply laying down and letting somebody run all over you like a doormat. The confidence you are wanting is not that option. It's not through that route. You are going to need to step forward and say something. That's right. So if you've ever gone, oh, no, Jefferson, I just kind of take it. It just makes life go easier. No, it doesn't. It doesn't make life go easier. It just makes it more tolerable in that moment.
But that is no way to live. Now, I will say that there is a caveat to that, and that is maybe somebody who is an employer or a boss right now listening going, well, look, sometimes I need to have some constructive criticism, and they're not willing to take it. I hear that. I think there is a difference of when somebody says you kind of have to earn your stripes somewhere and you kind of have your rookie season there, wherever you're working, of knowing you. There is this expectation of it is going to be somewhat of a tough season. slog to get through wherever you got to get through, but there should be an end to it. If there's never an end to it, then we have a problem because there's a difference between toughness and dignity.
Toughness says, I can take this. I can handle this. I have broad enough shoulders for this.
Why is choosing where to work important when facing a difficult boss?
Dignity says, I know I don't have to. I don't have to take this. If I want to, I can leave. I can take my ball and go home. I don't have to play here. There are other people who could be more than happy to take my skills and what I have to offer because I know within myself, I have the self-awareness to know I have things to offer. So with that mindset, first and foremost, of knowing that you have a choice, what are we going to do? Number one, I want you to be willing to ask a question that is going to show that you are not afraid to lean into those hard moments. And I know that's gonna feel really uncomfortable, but is leaning into that discomfort is gonna be, could make all the difference. of whether or not you're somebody who goes, I'm different from all the rest of the people who are here, or I am somebody who is always going to be walked over.
Well, you and I have already agreed to this. We're not going to be people that we walk over. If you are listening to my podcast, hear me. You are not the kind of person that's simply going to be walked over.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
How do I know I’m dealing with a toxic or disrespectful boss?
0:00–3:28
2
Why is choosing where to work important when facing a difficult boss?
3:28–6:41
3
How can I decide between taking criticism and speaking up in the moment?
6:41–24:01
4
What question can I ask to distinguish frustration from clear expectations?
24:01–25:28