Joey Diaz is a standup comic, actor, and author. He's the host of "The Church of What's Happening Now," and the author of "Tremendous: The Life of a Comedy Savage." www.youtube.com/@JoeyDiaz www.joeydiaz.net 50% off your first box at https://www.thefarmersdog.com/rogan! Try ZipRecruiter FOR FREE at ziprecruiter.com/rogan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What does Joey Diaz think about comedy shows?
Yeah, they get everything.
And it's all coming in right from Italy, you know, because a lot of it's imported. They use a lot of imported stuff, imported mortadella, imported... The peppers, all that stuff that they have. You know, sun-dried peppers, sun-dried tomatoes. They import all that shit. They got to get that shit. Because if it goes there, then it's got to ship from the boat all the way to Texas.
It's a little bit of a pain in the ass.
Remember fucking Greasy Tony? He used to drive once a month to New Jersey. Oh, Greasy Tony. And get coke cuts and fucking chicken cutlets. I miss him. Poor Greasy Tony.
We used to visit him every time we went to Tempe. He was our guy.
Remember you said not to drink his Mountain Dew because he made it himself. He was out for two days. He used to make it. That was the strongest Mountain fucking Dew you could ever taste in your life. You were out for like a day.
Greasy Tony. Such a character. He was such a character. He became our friend. Yeah, he was a good dude. When we first started going there, we were visiting for like 10 fucking years. Every time we would do shows in town, we'd go visit Greasy Tony.
He had a $20 chicken cutlet sandwich. Phenomenal. 15 years ago, which weighed... Like, I was 400 pounds, and I would bring it home and try to finish it.
Do you remember that steak sub that he would make? What did he call it, trash can?
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Chapter 2: How does Joey feel about moving to Austin?
Firefighters, when I was a kid, were the fucking big, brutal men. Beast, kicking down doors. Fucking houses. They looked like former football players. There was this guy I used to play pool with, Ray the Fireman, because everybody in the pool hall, I was Joe the Comedian. Everybody had a nickname based on what you did. Ray the Fireman was a fucking house.
He was this big fucking, like, big Irish guy, you know? Like, of course he's a fireman. Look at him. That guy's going to kick down a door, carry your fucking husband, throw him over his shoulder, run through the flames, throw him on the lawn. He does it all the time. He's an animal.
Like Vito's lover in The Sopranos. Remember he was a fireman?
Remember he was a fireman, the gay dude? I forgot about that scene. Then he killed himself in real life. Oh, did he really? After that show? Because they thought he was gay? I don't know. I hope it wasn't that. I hope they didn't taunt him for being gay. Imagine you get your shot. Hey, Joey, I got good news and bad news. Good news is you're going to be on The Sopranos.
Bad news is you got to fuck a guy. And you got to swap spit with him.
Yeah, swap spit on camera. On camera. Yeah. But you're on The Sopranos. What are you going to do? Depends on what you want to do. If you're a regular guy and that's your first acting gig, I suggest you pass. I suggest you pass. I couldn't swap spit with him. You have to be like a Jared Leto type dude to pull that off. Died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound December 16, 2008 at the age of 47.
And he was a firefighter, a former firefighter. who knows i mean when when did he die how long after the show go pull it back up again because it just said so he died in 2008. so the show was running in 2008. Right? Yep. Was Soprano still on in 2008? No. No, it was off by then?
2007, I think.
No, 2009 maybe? I don't know. Let's find that out, and then we'll have an answer.
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of being a comedian?
It's so wrong. There's nothing. Listen, I see it and it doesn't bother me.
It's just like everything else. It doesn't bother me at all. There's a certain percentage of society that are just born gay. And there's plenty of them to hang out with each other and they should be your friends. Yes.
Scott. No. The football player. Oh, yes. Scott. That's his first name. Now we got to work on his last name. God damn it. Scott.
Yeah, I need to call somebody. Otherwise, this is... Do you got Maddie Kirsch's number? We should call Maddie Kirsch. She wouldn't know.
No. That's going to drive me nuts. Somebody from Houston wouldn't know. Because I don't want to call somebody online and have to describe them. And then people go, oh, you described Scott.
Well, what I was thinking you were saying was Jeff Scott. Jeff Scott from the Comedy Store is another example of a gay guy who was our brother. Brother. He was our brother. That guy. That's it. Scott Kennedy. Scott Kennedy. Look at him with his New Orleans shirt on. Scott Kennedy was awesome. Awesome. Sorry I forgot his name, but he's not around to be embarrassed.
How did he die? I don't know. Look at him with Craig Ferguson.
He always had football jerseys on.
Always.
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Chapter 4: How does Joey Diaz view the current political landscape?
Chapter 5: What are the influences of automation on jobs?
So he broke it on Hagler's head somewhere in the first. So now he's throwing the jab. So I bet his hand's already broken. See, it's all left hands now. He threw that right hand, but he was weak, you know? He didn't really hurt him with the right hand. He's like pulling it back as he's throwing it. See, he's just trying to touch him with that right hand. That left hand is all he's got left.
His right hand is cooked. And Hearns has decided to start moving and boxing, which is not like his style. See, like even when he's landing that right hand, he's got no power behind it now. And Sugar Ray Leonard's talking shit in the commentary. Both fighters are unbalanced. Hagler could take a shot, too, better than anybody.
He only has one knockdown accredited to him his entire career, but it wasn't a knockdown. He fought Juan Roldan, and Juan Roldan kind of cuffed him in the back of the neck and pushed him forward, and Hagler fell forward and touched the ground, and the referee mistakenly called it a knockdown. The only time he's ever been down. Took bombs from the greatest punchers in the division.
Beat everybody except Sugar Ray. And I think the only reason why he lost to Sugar Ray was, I think the fix was in that fight, son. I watched that fight many times. Many times. Yeah, there's something about it. Something about it. And then Hagler leaves and goes to become a movie star in Italy. Come on. And his trainers are the Petronelli brothers in Brockton, Massachusetts. Come on.
Shut the fuck up. You know how much money was on Hagler to win, probably? You know, there's probably some sort of a deal. Like, look, the odds are very favorable in Hagler's direction and we can get a bet on Leonard. We can clean up here. We can get Marvin to just like, you know, don't put him away. Just touch him a little bit. Touch him. He never has him hurt.
Never has him hurt in the whole fight. Just, he was so good. I just, he didn't seem right. It seemed like almost he was like sparring sometimes. Hard to say though. Sugar Ray was so good too. The guy could come back after all those years off. You know, he had one fight, got dropped, said he was retiring, and then comes back and decides he's going to fight Hagler. And then he wins.
And then Hagler's like, I'm done. I'm done. I'm going to go to Italy and make terrible movies. You ever see those Marvin Hagler movies? No. Oh, you got to see some clips. No. Joey, they're the dumbest movies of all time. Hagler punches people, they go flying through the air. No, I'm not watching that. I love Marvin Hagler too much. No, they're fun. Look, he was having a good time.
I bet he was a huge star in Italy. But that to me, it's like everything seems fishy. The fight seemed fishy to me. The decision seemed fishy to me. And then Hagler goes off and becomes a movie star, and I go, okay. In Italy? How does that happen? How do you get connected? How does that happen?
Look how bad this movie is. Look how bad this movie is.
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Chapter 6: How has the movie industry changed post-pandemic?
Chapter 7: What makes a great sitcom?
Wild Card, he would go over there. Yep, go to Wild Card, change boxing. Remember when he fought, I think it was Josh Koczek? And he was jabbing. Was that the fight where he fucking broke the jab out and he had trained at Wild Card?
Yeah, his jab had fucked Josh's eye up so bad that Josh couldn't fly home.
I remember that. I remember all that shit. And that's what I liked about him. His training was all... Another time, you know, you're watching and he's doing gymnastics. Yeah. Where's gymnastics and all this play a game?
Well, he just realized that gymnasts are so powerful because they have such control of their body. And he's like, well, I'm going to get better control of my body. So he learned how to do back flips and shit.
Unbelievable. Swimming. Fucking doing this, doing that. And meanwhile, you're still going, well, my jujitsu game. is elevated. This motherfucker just went and worked out every part of his game, but focused on just one, really. You know what's really crazy about him?
He still does the same thing. He's really a martial artist. He comes to Austin all the time to train with John Donaher and Gordon Ryan. All the time. He's here all the time. I see him, like, every couple months. He comes down to train and then he'll go somewhere else to train and he'll go somewhere else to train. No desire to fight. He doesn't want to fight anymore at all.
He's just a martial artist. He's so happy and content. He's like the best example of a guy who retired with millions in the bank and is living his best life. He's a real martial artist. He really is. He just wants to learn and grow. Why would he come here and train with Gordon Ryan? Why would he train with that fucking animal if you're not actually thinking about competing?
But for him, it's just all about growing. It's all about growing and this martial arts journey that he's on for his whole life. It's really amazing. It's very cool. You know, when he would come to 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu and he would learn stuff from Eddie too. He came down to learn the turning sidekick from me. Like he just wants to learn from everybody. He wants to learn everything.
He's always constantly seeking out.
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Chapter 8: How does Joey Diaz feel about political correctness in film?
You know what I like to do? I like to put on the Wu-Tang Clan and just fuck that heavy bag up.
I love it. I love the earphones. And I'll tell you what else I got into now that I'm older. What? Because when I went to that hospital, it taught me a lot, Joe. It reminded me that I wasn't a kid no more. Like, we fuck around, and we have a good time, and we think we're bad motherfuckers, but... You want to stay healthy. Yeah.
Ever since I come out of the hospital a month ago, everything's fucking changed.
Come out here, Joey. Get you on that ways to well. I think we're going tomorrow. Come on. We're going tomorrow. Are you busy tomorrow? If you're here, I'm not busy. All right. Let's go. We're good.
I like that blood thing they did. Yes. What's that called?
Do you get an IV bag?
Vitamin IV? No, that was a little one. It wasn't a big IV.
Oh, so you're talking about a stem cell push. Push, yeah. Yeah, IV stem cells, yeah. I just got that Tuesday. I brought Rich Voss in. How was he? He was great. I love that guy to death. I love him, too. We had a good time. We had a good time at the club, too.
I see him a lot, you know. Yeah. I see him every Wednesday.
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