Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, and Ari Shaffir are stand-up comics, writers, and podcasters.Shane is the co-host of "Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast" with Matt McCusker and one half of the sketch comedy duo "Gilly and Keeves" with John McKeever. Season two of his Netflix series, "Tires," premieres on June 5.www.shanemgillis.comMark is the host of the "All Over the Road" podcast, and co-host of "Tuesdays with Stories" with Joe List and "We Might Be Drunk" with Sam Morril. Watch his stand-up special, "Soup to Nuts," on Netflix.www.marknormandcomedy.comAri is the host of the "You Be Trippin'" podcast. Watch his latest comedy special, "Ari Shaffir: America's Sweetheart," on Netflix. www.arishaffir.com Go to ExpressVPN.com/ROGAN to get 4 months free! Tap into exclusive PPVs with an ESPN+ subscription Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What are the comedians' thoughts on Ozempic?
Well, I very rarely wear a t-shirt on stage. Or anything tight. Shirtless is my move. I just want to look like a fucking champ.
Take your shirt off like Hulk Hogan. That's fun. Start comedy.
Yeah, Kreischer, when he started losing weight and he was getting jacked, I'm like, you're taking away from your act there, fella. Exactly. You look like a football player now. Like, Burt was getting some big, thick-ass shoulders. I don't do the... A lot of fat jokes. No. If any.
No, you don't really.
You might make fun of yourself if it helps something. Yeah. It doesn't matter. Well, you're not fat enough. You're more like squishy. Yeah, just a fat guy.
You're not like a fat guy. So absurdly fat that we have to talk about it.
Bert doesn't really do fat jokes either.
No.
No. No. Really? No, not really.
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Chapter 2: How do comedians feel about physical fitness affecting their comedy?
Sometimes you just gotta attack the elephant in the room just to get it out of the way, but then after that, fuck it. But if you're really good, you don't even need it. But if you have a joke that's funny, that's like who fucking cares? That's the weirdest thing is comics like policing what should be talked about.
If someone comes up with the most amazing fart joke of all time, I'm going to die laughing. You know, it's like I don't do any. I don't have any. But it's like on anything and everything. There's a take on anything and everything that's like that. Just nicotine just as epic don't get the feds on us Lucy breakers. What's the heckle fish? Oh?
Oh, that's from, you ever see that YouTube show, The Y Files? No. It's a great fucking show. It's all about, like, fucking aliens and why you can't go into the Grand Canyon and, you know, secret fucking temples and stuff like that. And AJ Gentile is the host, and then this is a fish that sits in the fish tank next to him and talks shit to him.
Well the thing is like now everybody comes and they give me something for the table that's like part of the fun I got this little old mech head. That's from Luke caverns pretty dope I also got an Aztec death whistle do not blow it.
I blew it the last time it's Theo's I
Last time we had one of these and we blew it, Callan blew it on the podcast, and the pandemic started a month later. I'm not kidding. Fucking L.A. was locked down. People were connecting it to the death whistle. It was a conspiracy theory. Oh, poor Bob. Sorry. You got me. Because I think that one drives me nuts.
Yeah.
Pop Saget does? Yeah, because it's the same thing that happened to Heather MacDonald. Blacked out, fell, smashed her head, died. She lived because she was on stage, and luckily they got medical help.
Rug. Rug on the stage also.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of the death whistle story?
I'll tell you what, I ran with... I ran with crushing that. Oh!
No, no, you gotta uppercuts. It's like they have all the technique down from years. You know what's really dark?
First you grab the arm, you bend. You say, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I told you not to bring that up in front of my fucking friends. Did I see you driving?
I told you not to bring that up. It's such a good, like, help me out here. Give me a good pitch.
You see Greta Thunberg's on her way there right now. She's going to fix it. What's this?
Thunberg's on her way to Iran. She's going to fix Gaza.
Oh, she's on a sailboat.
She's taking a sailboat to Gaza. Three years fucking later.
Who is?
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Chapter 4: How did the pandemic impact comedians?
They don't need it.
Has there ever been one that's not on medication? Not one.
Every school shooter looks like Michael Moore. Thomas Matthew Crooks had a huge hog.
Who's that?
Who's that? The guy who shot Trump. Did he?
How do you know he had a huge hog?
Huge hog. The kid?
I see it. Every one of those guys. The 20-year-old kid?
Yeah.
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