Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night! All day! Hey, fella. What's going on, brother? Good to be back, Joe. Good to see you, as always. This time I have something to actually promote. Well, you're always promoting, so I mean... any kind of appearance is sort of a promotion. Right. Because you're promoting, the audience gets to see you. Right. Right? Right.
It was so funny because it got me thinking.
Chapter 2: How does Ehsan Ahmad promote his comedy special?
So I started watching Patrice's Opie and Anthony appearances because there's a list of them on Spotify. And what was so funny to me was like – You know how they have these group of mentally disabled people that they kind of fuck with? Obi and Anthony? Yeah. Like a carousel. It's kind of mean. It's kind of horrible. Yeah, it's kind of like, ooh, I'm kind of glad we're past that.
But what made me laugh is every single one of them at the end of the thing was like, and here's my website. And I was like, damn, I've been on the Joe Rogan Experience twice, and I don't even have a website. You didn't have a website? I didn't have a website. This is the first time I had a website. Wow. What did you do? Did you make it yourself? No.
I realized, like, oh, I got to pay people to do stuff like that. That's out of my wheelhouse of, like, things I can do. Ironically, I'm terrible with technology for a guy who looks like me. There's some things you could do. Like, Squarespace has a great setup. It's pretty easy to do. Yeah, but I think that's just pure – it's like –
pure laziness almost on my end for sure and a little bit like I spend so much time on my like my brain space and this is dedicated to my jokes I don't I kind of shut out everything else It's a fun time to be alive. One of the things that's really exciting about The Mothership is for someone like me who's been doing comedy for so long, it's really exciting to watch people's careers launch.
See guys like Cam Patterson go from getting a spot on Kill Tony to being a regular on Kill Tony to being on fucking Saturday Night Live. Boom. It's crazy. Some of them, like Christina Mariani now just sells out rooms at the comedy store all the time. She's killing it. And then you have Peyton Ruddy and Dylan Carlino.
These are just guys who were just at the club and just made a way social media-wise. And you get to see people get just tighter and better, like McCusker's new set, like what he did last night. Really fucking good, man. Super solid. Really fun. It's just like, we got a good thing, man. It's a Good thing. Yeah, it's just a fun place to be around. Everyone just working jokes.
That's what it is, really. It's so funny. There is such this narrative outside of the ship about what Austin comedy is. And it's really just a bunch of people just doing jokes. The narrative is only with jealous people. It's not...
based on any reality it's not based on people go there and hang out right well it's it's it's always these people who love to talk about Austin but they don't talk to anyone in Austin it's like there's a bunch of comics willing to hang out and talk to you I think I've told you this before but I have a friend of mine who's you know somewhat of a philosopher an online friend I don't even know what he looks like we've been going back and forth for years but he warned me about this a long time ago he said you've created a walled garden and he goes and you've got all these friends and you're all supporting each other and you're all having fun but there's a lot of people that feel on the outside that
And they feel like left out of it. And so they're like, fuck those people. That party sucks. You know, it's kind of along those lines. And, you know, if you could find some connections to other negative things, you know, like me and Tony, we have this connection to Trump and so does Shane. And, you know, there's all sorts of that. Oh, fucking, you got to be a right winger to be.
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Chapter 3: What insights does Ehsan share about the Austin comedy scene?
And it's somewhere around 11 million for four years, which is fucking wild. That's – 10 Austins, at least, of illegal immigrants were allowed to get in this country, aided to get in this country, and then moved to states. They moved them. They flew them out to certain swing states. This is all Mike Benz has documented all this stuff. You can see they gave him EBT cards. So imagine...
You can imagine two things. One, imagine you're one of those people. You're like, dude, they're asking me to come. This is awesome. Now I'm in America. I'm going to get a good job. I'm going to be able to support my family. And then all of a sudden you have these fucking dudes in bulletproof vests looking for you on the streets. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you said it was okay.
I thought the Red Cross gave me a map. I was, you gave me a fucking cell phone and now you're hunting me. Right, now you're just like caught in the crossfire. But now imagine the ICE agents. Okay, this is your job. Your job is to go out and find these people.
And one of the things you don't get about this, it's like, because there was like a recent clip of mine that got like highlighted where I was criticizing ICE. One of the things that you don't think about when you're into this is just like regular police interactions. The ones that you see online are the horrible ones. So you think all cops are horrible.
What you miss is the millions of interactions that people have with cops. Like, how you doing today, sir? Good, sir. How you doing? Can I see your paperwork? Sure. Here it is. You in a hurry? I fucked up. I'm late for work. All right, man. Just slow down. Like all right. Thanks, brother.
Everything's nice that happens to like there's nice interactions with cops There's people that save people from bad guys. It happens all the time There's people that are thankful that they called the police and they stopped the burglar who is breaking into their fucking mom's house or whatever it is, right?
There's so many more of those but you're not seeing those videos and so with the ice thing what you're only seeing and you're only hearing about is American citizens that have been arrested, the lady that got shot. You're hearing about all these negative. What you're not hearing about is the number of violent criminals that they've caught. And it's a lot. It's in the thousands.
It's not like thousands of American citizens have been shipped out to other countries. No, it's like net positive if you look at it that way. Like, see if you can find out how many, because I know there's probably going to be a bunch of various sources that are not totally accurate. But find out, like, what are the number of violent criminals they've caught since they started doing this?
Well, also, there is a question on, this is how, because I know this is how they recruit some ICE agents. It's just, like, there are ads on local TV just offering, like, a signing bonus. During the UFC, there's an ICE ad. Yeah, and it's like these are just like also regular people. How much training are they really getting? Right.
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Chapter 4: What impact did Trump's presidency have on regulations?
Well, it's less now with Trump in office. There was a guy who was a CEO of some company that was talking about the gigantic shift in dealing with the government that had occurred right after Trump took office. He was like it was instantaneous, like all the restrictions, regulations. And this is one of the problems with California in particular. It's incredibly overregulated.
So it's really difficult to do anything, which is one of the reasons why so few people have even began attempting rebuild their fucking house. Right. There's regulations everywhere for everything. It's just overregulated. Well, didn't the government buy a lot of that land or are they trying to buy that land right now in the Palisades? Oh. I don't think it's government.
I think there was people that were interested in doing low-income housing, and then there was whether they were going to carve out things without their speculators. And there's that famous video of Newsom standing in front of the rubble of a burning house going, there's been some discussions.
Chapter 5: How is Gavin Newsom's handling of homeless funding questioned?
He's doing that little dance. Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a sociopath. What a freaky dude. He's running for president. There's no way he's not. Yeah, I mean, good luck, dude. He's absolutely running for president. Good luck, dude. There you go. You think there's a lot of fucking fraud in Minnesota? Just wait till they start digging deep into the fraud in California.
It's going to take an army of people to do. It's going to take a long time. But look, man, there's so much money missing. They spent $24 billion on the homeless and they can't account for it. Is it true that Gavin Newsom – let's find out this because I saw this whole article about this that said Gavin Newsom vetoed a bill that would do an audit of where the $24 billion to the homeless went.
Well, if their goal was to create more homeless with that money, they did a great job. They did a great job. They did a fantastic job. The crazy thing is they're literally incentivized to have more homeless because the more homeless people they have, the more money they get. Which is what? And then you see the salaries of the people that are working on it.
Coleon Noir, my friend that's a Second Amendment advocate who's a lawyer. He was the first guy to tell me about that, because he's a lawyer, and he was in San Francisco, and he was like, why is there so many homeless people here? It's like, do they need more money? And his friend, who was a lawyer, goes, no, no, no, no, no. This whole thing is a racket.
The more homeless people you have, the more you have to fund the homeless initiative, and then you have this entire ecosystem that's built around the homeless. Right, and it's just money that's going to executives. Millions and millions of dollars. $24 billion. Okay, David Spade was talking about it. This really happened. He blocked bills for an audit multiple times.
Bipartisan bill AB2903 unanimously passed 72 to 0 in the Assembly, 40 to 0 in the Senate, and would have forced annual public reports on where the money went. And Newsom vetoed it. Is there no system in the state? Because it's like if the president vetoes... At a federal level, I'm pretty sure if it goes back to the Senate or the House, they can do a two-thirds vote to pass it anyway?
I don't understand. I don't know how it works. There is legislative ways to override a veto. This veto? Federally. Federally. I don't know about on a state level. It says Gavin Newsom also vetoed similar bills, AB 2570 and AB 2093. Wow. That is crazy. Hey, that money's just gone. 20 billion plus dollars in missing homeless money went.
That is really wild, man, that you would veto that, that it passes unanimously. And you're like, nah, playa. That's fucking gangster, dude. That's why you become a governor. It's probably a good move if you're a really shitty mayor of a place like San Francisco and you ruin it. Better be the governor. Tighten up. And stop the investigation.
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Chapter 6: What are the implications of historical language loss?
Stop all the fucking loopholes. I would call that good gameplay on Newsom's part. I like looking at politics from an outside perspective. That's some good gameplay right there. If it's a game, that's exactly what you should do. Oh, yeah, it's a great move. Yeah, and now you sort of can launch yourself as this anti-Trump guy, and you're like, oh, it's trying to get on this pod.
The problem with that dude is— The presidential run is coming. He lies so much, he doesn't remember that he lied. Like, he gets busted on—we've never used the term Latinx, because Latinos do not like that Latinx bullshit. No. You want to fucking alienate the Mexican-American community? Yeah. Start calling them Latinx. They were like, bitch, what the fuck are you saying?
Well, that's fundamentally... It's a gendered language. Yeah, that's fundamentally against their language. That's the whole point. There are female and male things in their language. It's a gendered language. Yeah, yeah. Latinx is crazy. That's crazy. Stop. The really crazy thing is, you know, we were talking last night with Jimmy Carr's friend. What was his name? I forgot his name. Sorry, sir.
Fun guy. Interesting guy. But we got to talking about the different people that lived in America before Columbus got here and before Cortez got here and before all these Spanish explorers turned the entire country into a Spanish-speaking Catholic country. which is really nuts, man.
You know, you want to talk about colonizing, like those people in Mexico, oh, we respect their religion, their culture. That's the culture of their oppressors from just a few hundred years ago. They lost a hundred different native languages, man. They had so many languages in what is now Mexico, but wasn't even Mexico until 1820.
Like whatever it was, whatever they called it in the different areas, they had like over 100 different languages that just lost in the wind because the fucking conquistadors came through. Yeah. And outnumbered they were able to do that. Bro. This is crazy. Way outnumbered. Crazy. Bro, they had 13 muskets. Mm-hmm. That's all they had. 600 dudes, 13 muskets.
They burned the boats and took over Mexico. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Just the gift of gab, too. Just able to convince Montezuma that they were God. Well, they showed up with metal. Yeah, that's a fair point. They're wearing armor and they're riding horses. They're like, this is crazy. These guys are riding horses? And there's like a famous, what was it? La Malinche?
It was like a female native to the area who helped them take them down. Oh, there's quite a few people that helped them. They were very clever what they did because there wasn't united tribes because the Aztecs were absolutely brutal. One of the Spanish chroniclers, some –
I forget his name, something Diaz, but one of these Spanish chroniclers before the arrival of Cortes, he was there at the celebration of the completion of one of the temples. I think it was Tenochtitlan. And they killed somewhere between 20,000 as the low end and 80,000 as the high end. 20,000 to 80,000 people sacrificed in a four-day ceremony. That's pretty gangster.
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Chapter 7: What humorous food ideas do the hosts explore?
Let's see his face. He always goes, I'll give this sandwich a go. He has like a catchphrase. I'm all about it. Hmm. Okay. It doesn't look like he likes it. It's a terrible idea. That's a terrible idea. Orange peel sandwich the fuck out of here. Well, that's what people ate. Yeah, you're starving. You're starving, you're eating an orange peel sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The sandwich was made by a guy who was in a hurry, right? Wasn't that the idea? Just threw some fucking meat in some bread to eat it all together? Yeah, I think so. And then the people were like, what? Wasn't his name Sandwich or something? He was like the Earl of Sandwich. Something like that? Yeah.
As I'm saying that, is that real though? Is that just like goofy?
We definitely searched this before. Isn't there an Earl of Sandwich? No, there 100% is, but it's also like a store.
And I'm just like, is that even maybe just like a silly myth?
I'll tell you what, if the sandwich didn't originate with the Earl of Sandwich, what a mighty coincidence that is. If there is an Earl of Sandwich, what is the origins of the term sandwich?
I'm stuck looking at the Earl of Sandwich.
Okay, so the Earl of Sandwich exists. But just put into perplexity, what are the origins of the sandwich? I'm pretty sure it was like a military guy. Yes. And he was like, fuck it, just give me the bread and the meat. I'll put it together. And he cut the bread open, stuffed it in there.
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Chapter 8: What are the origins of the sandwich according to the hosts?
Because I think they used to just eat bread and eat meat. They just ate bread by itself. Like separately. They were too stupid to combine them. Yeah, very autistically. Keep the food separate. 18th century England, named after John Montagu. The fourth Earl of Sandwich. Someone is the Earl of Sandwich. During a prolonged card game in 1762. Oh, that's right. He was gambling. That's right.
Now I remember. Oh, well, now that gambling is so fucking massive now, what cool food is going to come out of that? That's hard to hear. All the fast food Uber Eats will deliver it right to your table. Allowing him to eat without interrupting play, the practice creation popularized the handheld meal among England's elite. There it is. Oh, that's so funny. It used to be an elite food.
Oh, so it looks like the Romans had it before. It says similar concepts predated Montague, such as the Roman ophela, which involved meat or cheese between bread slices. That's a sandwich. Right. They just didn't call it that. Hmm. Huh. Okay. They finally had a name that stuck. Is there a current Earl of Sandwich? I bet there is. Imagine if he's gluten sensitive.
That's what I was digging through was this, but I didn't get any good information from it.
Well, now we know. You want to talk about places to eat? Austin has an amazing fucking selection of places to eat. During the day, the night leaves a little... There needs to be a late night diner out here. Well, we were talking about that last night. One of the things I really miss about LA is the Jewish delis. Like Cantor's. Yes. We used to go there after a club.
We'd leave and we'd go to Cantor's and I would get a pastrami Reuben with steak fries. Oh my God. Have you ever had a pastrami Reuben from Cantor's? Yeah. Good lord. That's what you get at Cantor's. Good lord. It's good. Yeah. I mean, it might be the best pastrami Reuben on earth. It's right up there with Cat's Deli in New York City, which is maybe the king. Oh, I've never been there. Oh, lord.
Cat's Deli in New York City is fucking legendary. First of all, you get a ticket when you get there. I don't even know if they accept credit cards. You might have to pay in cash. Oh.
You get a ticket when you get there, and you can't lose your ticket if you lose your ticket You got to pay like 50 bucks because you take that ticket and on that ticket They write all the things you get so you go up to the counter And they're like we're gonna get you and there's guys that have been fucking chopping meat since the 20s You know and they'll slice you off a couple of pieces of brisket slice you off a couple of pieces of pastrami And you get to eat it while you're there while you're waiting for your sandwich to be made and you know you tell them what you want and
And he pulls the fucking pastrami out and starts slicing it up in front of you. Steam's coming off of it. He's piling it on that rye bread. You're like, you can't wait. And then he gives you a couple pickles in there. And then you're like, what else you want? And then you move down the line. Like, I get an order of fries. You get an order of fries. I want a root beer. And then you get to the end.
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