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The Joe Rogan Experience

#2492 - Ari Shaffir

30 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 9.973 Joe Rogan

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day

0

12.603 - 30.385 Unknown

You know what you are on my phone? What? Ari the Wanderer. That's a new phone number. That's not bad. That's a new number. Because that's what you are. I was telling you last night that I thought it was in Mexico City, but we had a report that you were at an Oasis concert in Mexico City, and you said no, it was in Rio.

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30.545 - 32.468 Ari Shaffir

Sao Paulo. Oh, Sao Paulo? Yeah.

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32.488 - 37.894 Unknown

Okay, so it was in Brazil. So no one knew where you were. You were gone for how many months? Six?

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38.195 - 61.83 Ari Shaffir

Seven. Jesus Christ. That's seven months. yeah how many times have you done that now i guess three although when i went to ecuador i was very much in touch with everybody so it was like that was a halfway that was halfway but you were there you were kind of checked out but i was i was in touch yeah i still had numbers i was still like doing like podcasts and stuff and what are you doing remotely

62.03 - 76.185 Ari Shaffir

Do it remotely. Yeah, I would do one with Big Jay and Soda. We did a 21 Jump Street Breakdown podcast. We were so bored during the pandemic. We were like, let's find a show and just let's get together.

76.645 - 78.467 Joe Rogan

And watch 21 Jump Street.

78.587 - 89.539 Ari Shaffir

First we chose Sex and the City and then found out gay fucking Ian already had a Sex and the City podcast. Ian Fidance? Yeah. Did he really? Dude, that guy blows dudes. Obviously he loves Sex and the City.

89.705 - 90.787 Unknown

Well, I guess so.

Chapter 2: How long was Ari Shaffir away and where did he go?

95.915 - 106.592 Ari Shaffir

He does. It's weird. Like, is he only gay? No, no. He fucks. He fucks better than we ever did for women. Women? Yeah. Okay. He gets it.

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107.033 - 108.675 Unknown

So, and then, but then he went to guys?

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108.795 - 114.885 Ari Shaffir

He's a new breed. He's a new breed of just like. When did he go to guys? Is that a new thing? I think he battled with it for a while.

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115.27 - 119.835 Unknown

Oh, okay, so he was fucking girls but hating them? God, I wish he were a guy.

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119.855 - 127.302 Ari Shaffir

Like that kind of a deal? Yeah, I guess. Then he went to glory holes and he was saying he wasn't gay. I'm like, bro, that's one of the biggest signs of a gay.

127.803 - 135.951 Unknown

So you just stick your dick in the hole or you suck the dick that comes out of the hole? Was he the glory giver or the glory taker? You're asking me questions I don't know.

136.291 - 142.037 Ari Shaffir

I always assumed in my head he was sucking dudes off, but I'm actually not sure.

Chapter 3: What are the implications of doing podcasts remotely?

142.017 - 143.4 Unknown

Yeah, interesting, right?

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143.52 - 144.101 Ari Shaffir

It's interesting.

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144.341 - 151.334 Unknown

Yeah, because if the dick comes through the hole, if you're like, you ever want to suck a dick, but I don't want to look a guy in the eyes, I just want to know what it's like, see if I'm good at it.

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151.414 - 156.824 Ari Shaffir

Yeah, I don't want to be embarrassed in front of anybody. They're going to recognize me later. I just want to work on my technique.

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156.844 - 159.349 Unknown

Yeah, I just want to find out if I'm right.

160.631 - 161.152

Yeah.

162.034 - 183.823 Ari Shaffir

I need more research. Not enough data points. Yeah, because so you didn't even ask him which side of the glory hole he was on I think I was so overwhelmed by this Heterosexual dude who was telling me he goes to glory holes and so then he was heterosexual This is back in the day. We did a podcast my old podcast on the way down to like somewhere That's a skeptic tank.

183.843 - 190.042 Ari Shaffir

Yeah, and and he was telling me that but he's telling me he's not gay and I was like I How do I say that?

190.202 - 190.422 Unknown

Wait.

Chapter 4: What are the challenges of weight cutting in combat sports?

3178.887 - 3184.575 Unknown

What do you weigh? Get on the scale. 185. Bro, you're supposed to be fighting at 155. How the fuck are you 185?

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3184.795 - 3200.277 Ari Shaffir

It's dumb because you're not actually – it's like having field goals decide like an NFL game. It's like this is like a minor part of the sport. Right. So that's like you're having a 185 fight against a 160 pound. So you're not actually saying who's best in your class.

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3200.257 - 3206.444 Unknown

In elite levels, they're all doing it. So it's everybody's cheating. It's sanctioned cheating. It's not cheating because it's legal.

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3206.524 - 3214.093 Ari Shaffir

But it's rewarding guys who know how to cut better than guys who don't. And as a casual fan, that's not what we're into. It's also very biological.

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3214.654 - 3221.802 Unknown

So some people can cut weight very easily. And to some people, it's a fucking grind. And it's way more of a grind for women.

Chapter 5: How does weight cutting affect athletes differently?

3222.283 - 3242.973 Unknown

Women hold on to that water weight a lot harder than men do. So when a woman has to lose, like a woman has to cut like 20 pounds. They do it too? Yeah, man, they cut weight, but apparently it's way more brutal for them. Interesting. Yeah, it's fucking terrible. It should have never been in there in the first place, and they should figure out a way to get it out.

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3242.993 - 3248.121 Ari Shaffir

What do they do in high school wrestling when people fight at like 112? That's just your weight, or do you cut for that? You weigh in the day.

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3248.161 - 3255.573 Unknown

Right, that's better. You weigh in the day, but you're still cutting weight. I used to wrestle at 128, and then I wrestled at... 128 for a grown man?

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3255.673 - 3256.955 Ari Shaffir

I mean, a high school... Oh, okay.

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3256.995 - 3282.475 Unknown

Yeah. And then 134 because I couldn't really make 128 anymore. And then when I started fighting in Taekwondo, my first fights were at 140. That was when I was like 15, 16. And then my last fight at 140, I was 17, and I was not 140. And I was starving myself, and I was cutting a bunch of water weight. And then I would fight dehydrated. But I only did it one year.

3282.455 - 3297.493 Unknown

I only did it one year, and then I went up to 155, which was much better. That was easy because I didn't have to cut any weight. I was way better then. But that thing where they do in wrestling, you're not getting hit in the head in wrestling, right? So it will deplete you, and so you have to make a decision. Adjust your muscles. Yeah.

3297.473 - 3321.456 Unknown

How much am I going to be depleted and want to be the size bully and have a bigger frame and utilize it but have depleted performance? How good a shape would I have to be in where that depletion only takes out a certain percentage of my ability? And so it's like this calculated thing. Like Kurt Angle, for instance. Kurt Angle, when he was an Olympic gold medalist, he didn't cut any weight.

3321.436 - 3337.462 Unknown

and he was a phenomenal wrestler. Kurt Angle was a fucking monster, and he was beating guys way bigger than him. But he had so much energy because he didn't cut weight. And so he was wrestling against guys that did cut weight, and he was dominating them. Yeah, because he was full strength.

3337.482 - 3338.283 Ari Shaffir

But they were bigger than him.

Chapter 6: What historical structures raise questions about ancient civilizations?

3453.208 - 3467.916 Ari Shaffir

It's a big difference. And you can follow champions better. Yeah. But it's also, it's like... Even when Mighty Mouse came in, it was like... You have this dominant guy coming in to really launch the weight class. But people are like, we don't know this weight class. So we're less interested in you than we should be.

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3468.057 - 3477.628 Unknown

Well, people have a thing about tiny people. They look at a small guy who's like 5'3 and weighs 125 pounds. They're like, nah, we don't care. 17 here. 17.

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3477.748 - 3485.717 Ari Shaffir

Red Ben said the 135ers and 125ers, they should have to come into the octagon on little mini horses and ride around a couple times.

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3487.722 - 3498.941 Unknown

That's so rude. What's also interesting is like flyweight women, like Valentina Shevchenko, it's one of the premier weight classes in the women's division.

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3498.961 - 3499.542 Ari Shaffir

Because that's heavy?

3500.443 - 3525.831 Unknown

For a woman, it's like normal size. 125 is like a normal weight. It's like a man fighting at 160 or 170. It's normal. Weird. Yeah. It's weird. But there's not enough weight classes, and they should have fixed that a long time ago. There's giant gaps, like the gap between 185, which is middleweight, and then 205, which is light heavyweight. That's crazy. That's a big one. It's a giant leap.

3525.851 - 3537.165 Unknown

And then everything else. Well, not even. That's what's even stupider. You get to heavyweight at 265. That's the cutoff for heavyweight. So you have to weigh 265 or under.

3537.625 - 3542.326 Ari Shaffir

That's my favorite weigh-ins because they're still wearing their jeans. They're like, I'm inside a range.

3542.506 - 3555.244 Unknown

Yeah, they don't give a fuck. So ceremonial weigh-ins is what we have now. So when someone weighs in now, they've already weighed in in the morning in an official scale in front of doctors and state reps.

Chapter 7: What underground cave discoveries are mentioned?

6375.769 - 6383.263 Ari Shaffir

Pumas in the tunnel. Yeah. You're like, you can't see shit. He goes, it's a bad place, but it's this long underground tunnel that was made. What the fuck?

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6383.383 - 6408.218 Unknown

This is the one in China. So this is one of these caves in China. By the way, no record, no historical record of when it was created or who created it. And this is another one that they found. In 1992, they found it. Four farmers in Longview found the caves, and they drained the water from five small ponds in their village. The ponds turned out to be five large man-made caverns.

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6408.478 - 6427.656 Unknown

Further investigation revealed 19 more caverns nearby. They've been determined to be more than 2,000 years old, and their construction is not recorded in any historical documents. Like, look how crazy. Please show some of those images. Yeah, this is the only one. Fucking bananas. So they're just guessing that it's 2,000 years old. They don't know.

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Chapter 8: How does Ari Shaffir connect his storytelling to personal experiences?

6427.917 - 6439.045 Unknown

Right, right. Because there's no record. There's no record of it. But it's bananas. And they've also, those carvings they think are post- Later people. Yeah. Post-discovery.

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6439.426 - 6440.749 Ari Shaffir

That's their way of doing-

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6440.729 - 6450.625 Unknown

Yeah, because you see how, like, those lines on the walls, that's how everything looks. It's just those carved straight lines, and it looks like the other stuff was, like, more modern that they carved in.

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6450.785 - 6453.069 Ari Shaffir

Do you think those lines are so that the erosion wouldn't hurt it as much?

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6453.569 - 6462.223 Unknown

I don't know. I mean, that might have been how they did it. They might have had some sort of a device that they carved the stone out with. But the thing is, it's like— Where is this on a map?

6462.243 - 6465.168 Ari Shaffir

Show me where Long U is on a map. Yep.

6465.188 - 6465.268

Wow.

6465.248 - 6485.174 Ari Shaffir

I want to visit a lot of China. There's a lot of places in there that I don't know about. China's a big-ass place. Back out, back out. China's so big. Longyu Caverns. Keep going back. Keep going back. Let me see the context. Oh, my God. That's pretty deep in there. Good luck.

6485.535 - 6487.157 Unknown

It's near Wuhan. Look.

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