Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Libraries Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

The Joe Rogan Experience

#2507 - Harland Williams

29 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 9.973 Joe Rogan

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day

0

13.362 - 15.486 Unknown

Dimitri was here when Donald Trump was here.

0

16.267 - 17.589 Harland Williams

Wow, that made my day.

0

17.609 - 31.211 Unknown

It was important. It doesn't matter what side. It doesn't? No. There we go. Wow, these are nice. Dimitri the snake. Yeah, tapeworm. There he is. Oh, that's right. Tapeworm, yeah. What's going on with your face? What are you doing?

0

33.175 - 70.337 Harland Williams

This is a tight one for me today, guy. i'm feeling ripe what is that it's a it says betty billy billy oh b i l l y oh it's a uh it's a memorial tattoo i don't know if you knew this or not but uh my uh My kid got hit by a truck.

70.357 - 71.218 Unknown

When did you have a kid?

72.239 - 83.27 Harland Williams

About two years ago. I haven't told anyone. I was ashamed. It was a one night stand. Kid.

85.672 - 86.513 Unknown

Is it a human kid?

86.834 - 123.49 Harland Williams

Yeah. Billy. Billy. He got hit by a truck? Got hit by a truck. Was he just walking? Well, someone, and I won't say who, left the gate open, and he wandered out into the street, and boom, like hit by an 18-wheeler. And this is like a memorial. So you got Billy tattooed on your forehead. I have two tattoos. I got Billy on my forehead, and I got a tattoo of his little face over my heart.

Chapter 2: What happened to Harland's kid?

185.217 - 197.151 Harland Williams

Amazing he was still alive. Well, I couldn't believe it. He was alive and a respirator rolled out of the back of the truck, a life-saving device, and crushed his head.

0

197.671 - 202.478 Unknown

So he was killed not by the truck, but by the final blow of the respirator landing on him?

0

202.558 - 220.843 Harland Williams

Right. So the irony. What are the odds? Well, this is the irony in life, Joe. Like he got hit by the truck, might have survived. A respirator rolled out of the back. These things weigh a good half ton. Lands on the kid's face and gone.

0

221.744 - 222.685 Unknown

Poor Billy.

0

222.705 - 231.883 Harland Williams

So memorial tattoos. Well, you're a good guy. I would have ate them. Is that right? Yeah. How does goat taste? I haven't had it.

232.043 - 252.982 Unknown

It's pretty good, yeah. Wait, you have? Sure. First time I ever had it was in L.A. at a Mexican spot. They were selling goat tacos. They were delicious. Oh, my God. Yeah, and then I had a neighbor. Well, not a neighbor. He was a landscaper. That was a friend of mine. He would fight chickens. They'd do chicken fights. Cock fights. Yeah. Yeah, I've had those.

253.002 - 257.226 Unknown

I'm trying to be polite, cleaning up for the viewers. Chicken fights.

257.206 - 260.446 Harland Williams

Cock is kind of the technical name. It seems wrong.

261.211 - 270.884 Unknown

Yeah. When you're saying it. Have you ever... I don't like how you're saying it. But anyway, they would roast a goat, he told me, whenever they would do a cock fight.

Chapter 3: What is the significance of Harland's memorial tattoo?

271.685 - 273.728 Harland Williams

Feel better? Well, it's not for me.

0

274.028 - 274.789 Unknown

For the culture.

0

275.149 - 279.394 Harland Williams

Yeah, I mean, it is what it is. A pit bull fight's a pit bull fight.

0

279.634 - 295.357 Unknown

Actually, I wonder how you say it in Spanish. El Caco. So anyway, he lived in this neighborhood. You would swear to God that it was Mexico. It was crazy. Like, every sign was in Spanish. All the people were in Spanish. There was roosters everywhere. You just, on his street, you hear, ah, ah. Like all day long. It was crazy.

0

295.418 - 315.478 Unknown

And so he had this friend of mine, a friend of his rather, we went to the backyard. And in the backyard, there's just stacks and stacks of rooster cages. They had so many roosters, and they had these prize roosters, and they had a whole pit. So they had a thing. It was almost like a barn-looking area. And you go in there, and there's a pit. A cockpit. And then that's where they would fight.

315.599 - 323.815 Unknown

And he was showing me where they would roast a goat. He said every time they would have a cockfight, they'd roast a goat, and everybody would have beers and...

323.795 - 346.728 Harland Williams

Well, if you're going to have a cockfight, you might as well roast a goat. That's what I said. But if I had a cockpit in my backyard, I'd get like a Delta pilot and an American Airlines pilot and toss them in. And let them fight it out? Let them fight it out in the cockpit. Who do you think would win? Probably Delta, because they have- The DEI program? Do they? Yeah.

346.748 - 353.495 Harland Williams

Or in this case- They all do. The DIE program, because someone ain't coming out alive.

354.656 - 371.417 Unknown

Well, I think we need pilots, so maybe you should do it with someone that's overrepresented in the marketplace. What would be like we could get rid of some of those folks? Who we could single out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be like, we've had enough. There's too many of you guys. Yeah. Politicians.

Chapter 4: What are the moral implications of women using OnlyFans?

3770.452 - 3772.677 Unknown

Do you think if you're a woman, you'd be doing OnlyFans?

0

3773.939 - 3775.803 Joe Rogan

You know, it's an interesting question.

0

3775.843 - 3778.91 Harland Williams

It's a moral dilemma, isn't it?

0

3778.95 - 3785.664 Unknown

Let's imagine if Harlan was a female and Harlan was 21 and just got here from Canada. With these legs? With those legs.

0

3785.965 - 3786.747 Harland Williams

Oh, I'd be on.

3787.188 - 3789.573 Unknown

Not a lot of ways to make a living, but you're cute.

3789.913 - 3818.099 Harland Williams

Desperate times call for desperate matters, Joe Rogan. You know, it's a serious question, and it's almost a sad one in today's world. It is. Because in the old days, you had your sex industry sort of confined to the shadows. And now anyone's daughter, cousin, niece, nephew, they can suddenly be exposed to the world in the most promiscuous way, but in the most profitable way.

3818.239 - 3832.871 Unknown

That's the problem, is also you get addicted to the money. Let's imagine... Let's imagine you're a lady, and you have a site, and you show your feet and stick things inside your butt or whatever you do, and you're making- What was that last part?

Chapter 5: How do societal changes impact the sex industry?

3833.091 - 3834.813 Unknown

Stick stuff inside your butt.

0

3834.833 - 3835.573 Joe Rogan

If you're a lady?

0

3835.894 - 3859.129 Unknown

Yeah. Like what? Some ladies, they put dildos in there and stuff. Okay. Have you ever seen that? No, but I'm just assuming it happens. Doesn't that happen, Jamie? Sure. Sure. You've never seen a lady do that? I'm pure as a driven snow, sir. Joe? Not in real life. You haven't? No. Stick a rubber dick inside their butthole?

0

Chapter 6: What is the price of dignity in the modern world?

3859.631 - 3860.674 Harland Williams

I don't want to be there for that.

0

3861.497 - 3863.503 Unknown

You've never seen that. Why not? I'm not interested.

0

3863.523 - 3865.87 Harland Williams

You ever been through a car wash? I have.

0

3866.512 - 3887.94 Unknown

What's the difference? It's a big difference. One of them is your butt where you shit out of and you're putting a rubber dick inside of it. The other one is you're getting your car washed. You make a good point. Point is, if you were making, if you're doing all this and you develop the nice fan base, you're making $100,000 a month, $300,000 a month, and then you don't feel good about yourself.

0

3888.541 - 3910.801 Unknown

What do you do? Do you just save up the money and quit? If you meet a nice guy and he's like, so what do you do for a living? You're like... Well, let me tell you, I don't want to do it anymore, but I take rubber dicks and I oil my butthole up and I shove them in there with an HD camera a few inches from my butthole. The guy sent me tips.

3911.182 - 3931.863 Harland Williams

I think the subtext here, Joe, is what is the price you put on your dignity? Right. What is the price you put on your spirit? Because... This stuff, it may seem fun in the moment, but you get down the road, and it follows you.

3932.143 - 3940.831 Unknown

You know, we looked it up, and it's something crazy, like 10% of girls aged 18 to 24 in the United States are on OnlyFans.

3942.673 - 3963.652 Harland Williams

That's a lot. This is a tough question, and you can tell me to shut up if you want. Okay. You have a daughter, don't you? I have three daughters. You have three daughters. I have four sisters. If one of your daughters told you she was doing OnlyFans, what would your reaction be? I think I made a big failure as a parent. But how would you approach it with said daughter?

3964.353 - 3983.119 Unknown

Well, you would give them advice. First of all, your daughter or your son is a human being. You don't own them, right? Good point. Touchy point, but good point. If you treat them like you own them and they have to listen to you, they'll never listen to you and they're going to rebel. This is just human nature. Excellent point. I'm with you so far.

Chapter 7: What animals are currently facing eradication?

8020.468 - 8022.29 Unknown

What animals are being eradicated right now?

0

8022.35 - 8032.901 Harland Williams

Well, I just explained how the herds of elephants have shrunk down to this. Tigers are down to a few thousand. Silverback gorillas are down to like a few hundred.

0

8033.341 - 8037.106 Unknown

Okay. A lot of that is not encroaching. It's illegal poaching.

0

8037.506 - 8041.25 Harland Williams

It's that, but it's also encroaching. We're using up their land.

0

8041.571 - 8049.6 Unknown

Some of it, but also it's like, what do you want those people to do? Like people in India, like where they have elephants just invade their farms and eat all their food.

8049.68 - 8053.644 Harland Williams

But that's what I'm saying. How long are you a proponent of team human?

8053.784 - 8072.317 Unknown

People have been in those villages for hundreds and hundreds of years. But animals have been for millions. I'm on team people. If it's your family that needs that farm to stay alive and all of a sudden a fucking pack of elephants comes in and eats all the food that you've been working for a year to plant and grow, what do you think? We should just feed the elephants and go to the grocery store?

8072.578 - 8080.975 Harland Williams

I'd rather see the animals succeed than us, if I'm being honest. I love people. That is a ridiculous thing to say.

8081.296 - 8085.765 Unknown

That's a ridiculous thing to say. It doesn't mean the animals are going to go extinct.

Chapter 8: How do humans impact wildlife and ecosystems?

8135.45 - 8140.898 Harland Williams

I'm just asking. No. No. No chance. I live in a simulation of a Disney movie.

0

8140.918 - 8143.342 Unknown

You live in some bullshit Canadian reality show.

0

8143.362 - 8145.766 Harland Williams

Oh boy, he's taking another drink of coffee.

0

8145.826 - 8151.675 Unknown

Son of a bitch. I'll fly over this table with my rotten legs. You're fucking Team Canada. I know what you're doing.

0

8151.695 - 8152.336 Harland Williams

I'm just asking you.

8152.356 - 8155.761 Unknown

You're trying to ruin America by bringing in wolves. That's what you're doing.

8155.921 - 8156.001 Harland Williams

No.

8156.021 - 8176.573 Unknown

It's like a plant. He's a plant. I'm asking you. You're trying to ruin America by bringing in lions and wolves. Do you think humans are a parasite on the planet? I think we are a very complicated and intelligent life force that values itself above all else to the detriment of the ecology of the earth itself. However, we could do better. We don't all do that.

8177.014 - 8189.631 Unknown

Every company is not dumping things into rivers. If you had a cancer on your body, would you get rid of the cancer? We're not a cancer, dude. We're a part of the earth. We are the predominant intelligent life force on this earth.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.