548. Jordan Peterson Takes Your Call: Advice, Mental Health, Family Dynamics | Mikhaila Fuller

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The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast 53 min 4 speakers 2 chapters transcribed
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What advice does Jordan Peterson give about family dynamics?

Jordan Peterson 0:00
It's very distressing to see people whose families are fragmented because it just curdles your soul. How far should I go for someone who I care about but who refuses to get professional help?
Unknown Caller 0:11
How do I know if I'm actually building something? If there is a substantial age gap? It seems to me unwise to reproduce things being this uncertain.
Jordan Peterson 0:19
Well, what are you doing when you're talking to someone? You're thinking. Why would you think? To specify a problem and to solve it. You know, it sounds to me like you're setting yourself up as someone who could be maybe an excellent husband and father. You know, you've evaluated your life and you've come to some new conclusions and you've developed some new daring and you're becoming more educated. It's like, share that with someone. Do you like my Jordan Peterson bust? Ha ha ha. I really don't know what to think of it.
Mikhaila Fuller 0:48
It'd be weird if you owned it.
Jordan Peterson 0:49
I think it's weird also that you own it.
Mikhaila Fuller 1:06
Okay, let's get this show on the road. We thought it might be a fun idea or an interesting idea to take questions from your audience and have you do what you do best and try to help some people if they need help. And maybe the questions will be applicable to a lot of people. So I think it should be fun. We're going to give this a shot. I hope you guys enjoy it. I'm Michaela, by the way, if people don't know who I am.
Jordan Peterson 1:33
That would be she's my daughter.
Mikhaila Fuller 1:35
Oh, yeah.
Jordan Peterson 1:36
And a perfectly fine person in her own right as well.
Mikhaila Fuller 1:39
Well, thank you. I think that was a compliment, so I'll take it. Are we ready? Number one? Should we just jump into it? Let's go. Okay.
Unknown Caller 1:48
What is your opinion or feedback about what you've seen about relationships being successful if there is a substantial age gap? of, let's say, 10, 15 years. What has been your understanding as to the overall satisfaction of those relationships and the ability for them to be able to be long-lasting and satisfying when compared to relationships with, you know, less than a 10-year age gap or so?
Jordan Peterson 2:22
First of all, that's generally a situation with a younger woman and an older man. I'm not going to comment on the reverse situation because it's very rare.
Mikhaila Fuller 2:32
Women live longer. It technically makes a little bit more sense. That's coming from me.
Jordan Peterson 2:38
It violates the social norm again. Like women cross-culturally prefer men who are about four years older. And there's a variety of reasons for that. The major reason is that a wise woman isn't looking for another child. She's looking for someone who she can rely on to be productive, generous, loving when she's incapacitated or more incapacitated in pregnancy and with young children. And so women, even the scorecard by looking for men who are mature and no wonder. And young men have to understand that. A 17-year-old male is not a very marketable creature. Now, there are exceptions to that. You know, spectacularly attractive people who are outstanding in some manner can leapfrog the game. But basically, men gain advantage as they age. There are women who I've met who
Jordan Peterson 3:51
are looking for someone who's quite substantially more mature. And there are advantages to that, I think, for a woman. Because as men establish themselves, they know more, they have broader social connections, they're more competent, and they have more resources. And the other thing, you know, is by the time you're 25... You're about as old as everyone else until they're like 70. You know, you hit that period of maturity where roughly people are the same age. And so if you're attracted and you're both willing, then I don't see that as a problem that's any more insurmountable than personality differences or the other things. idiosyncrasies that couples have to contend with.
Mikhaila Fuller 4:55
Do you think it's weird? So I think the difference between say 30 year old woman or 25 year old woman and 40 or 45 year old man, that makes more, or if you go up, that kind of makes sense. Do you think it's weird when we see like 35 year old men who refuse to date anybody who's above the age of 22?
Jordan Peterson 5:18
I don't know if there are experiments of this sort, but they'd be easy enough to run. If you're after a one-night stand, then why not have a 22-year-old? No, that totally understands. Well, no, but that's it. That's the whole story. But if it's a relationship... for anyone who has any sense.

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