Chapter 1: Who is Russ Swain and what is his story?
Yeah, man, I could not agree more. I'm trying so hard not to go off on a travel tangent of my own, because I have so many other things to talk to you about here. I love everything you're saying here. It makes complete sense, and I couldn't recommend traveling any more than I already do. I think it does change your life when you stay somewhere for a long period of time.
You're not there for a week, you're not at a hotel, You are walking around the market looking at somebody selling crabs and learning the language, and you really get all those cultural nuances. Two years in a place like that is a long enough time for you to really absorb a lot of nuance, a lot of language, and a lot of culture.
You're someone who understands the difference between world travel and tourism. I can tell just by that attitude right there.
Yes, yeah, thank you. Yeah, I've stayed in a lot of places for a year, 10 months, whatever, even several months. There's just a huge shift that happens after, it's hard for me to pinpoint, but four, five, six weeks, two months, three months, it probably depends on the person and the place and everything like that. But there's a shift that happens where you just go, all right, I live here now.
Not, okay, when I get home, I gotta remember to throw the blanket and the laundry and all that stuff goes away. You start thinking in the other language after however many months, then your foot's on the gas. in this different kind of understanding. Okay, so you've got all these bills. You've made them. You're pretty happy with the product.
You've been in your print shop while your family's been away camping or whatever, making the ink, the paper, right? But aren't the bills just spotless and unused? That's a little suspicious.
And I wanted them to look like they'd been circulated. So I thought, I used to refer to, you know, I need some walking around money when you go out somewhere. So I thought, you know what? I'll just wad them up, shove them in my shoes, and walk around on them. And it's amazing how that gave them that well-worn look of circulation. That's funny. Okay, so this is great. But...
Like I said, I had to sear off my conscience, but I had never had any real experience, other than in high school with forging report cards, of being a bad guy. And I thought, how do I mask the anxiety? How am I going to launder this? I had no idea. But I've got all this money that's spendable. I think it is. And I had to try it out. But I was anxious. I was sweating.
I went into a little drugstore. They had these little corner stores back in those days.
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Chapter 2: How did Russ Swain start his counterfeiting career?
So maybe some of these fake 20s, six of them would help because I just, my heart went out to this guy. I says, okay, now call your boss, do whatever you got to do. If you have to feign sickness or something, but drive me to the hospital, drive me to where your wife is giving birth and pray to God you're not late. And he says, really? I says, yeah. So he says, this is nice of you.
So he says, what are you going to do? I says, I'll just get another cab. I'm fine. He says, look, you talked a lot of sense into me. Come up and meet my wife. And I thought, all right, now this is the kind of cultural experience you want. You would have done the same thing, Jordan. And I says, I would love to meet your wife. So we go up the stairs.
While she's in labor. Hi, who's this stranger in the room? No, thank you. That's so funny.
But as we were walking down the hall, her eyes lit up because she was in the bed. She could see us coming because the door was open. And she says, Marco, somehow I knew you would come. And her parents were there looking very,
grimly at him saying it's a damn good thing you came and so he turned around and very silently mouthed to me the word gracias and i just nodded and i said so i went in i shook hands with the in-laws met the lovely wife and i said you know what i'm just a friend of marco's i wanted to make sure that he could juggle everything around and help him so that he'd be here on this special night
Anyway, it made a big difference. And so he says, look, let me walk my American friend to the door here. And so he walked down the hall. And he said, hey, you made such a huge impression. I had Hispanic friends back in Utah. They couldn't say the name Russ very well, so they called me Rocks. It was easy to say. Anyway, I had shared that with him, and he says, I like that.
He says, I want you to know I'm going to nickname my little son the Little Rock, after an American friend who helped me tonight to usher him into the world. And it was a big deal. It was fun. It was exactly the kind of flavor that I was looking for, and I never forgot it. And he probably doesn't either.
That must have been the best and most fun use of the money, other than getting kneecapped by a gangster. All right. Wow. So, okay. Secret Service catches up to you. You get arrested. The agent is impressed that you didn't lie to him, but that's not getting you out of trouble entirely. Surely there's fallout from the family too.
Like your wife must've been, I don't even know if angry is quite going to cut it here. She must've just been shocked and horrified.
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