The Kingmaker Histories
Episodes
Footnote iv - FUNDRAISER UPDATE!
04 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
We're officially halfway done! Everyone give yourselves a pat on the back, you deserve it. Â Help us raise the next $3000! Preview the script for the...
Recommended Listening vi - Christmas Diner
12 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Happy Holidays, gentle listeners- today we have a delicious seasonal treat for you in the form of a new limited series from the creators of Two Flat E...
Iyer, Winterlich & Co Meet Dracula - Halloween Special
31 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The gang's latest client is a real pain in the neck. Content Warnings: Blood, gore, vomit, eating sounds, possession/loss of autonomy, animal death  ...
Appendix vii - Tailor a Jacket With Colette Geise
26 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Want to get into slow fashion? Colette's here to help!  Transcript Link Donate to the crowdfund here!  Written by Meg Molloy Tuten  Cast in orde...
Recommended Listening v - Travelling Light
30 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hello, dear listeners. Despondent that the Kingmaker Histories isn't currently releasing? Of course you are. But luckily, there's an easy fix for that...
Recommended Listening iv - Greater Boston
19 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hello, dear listeners. Despondent that the Kingmaker Histories isn't currently releasing? Of course you are. But luckily, there's an easy fix for that...
Recommended Listening iii - Fireside Folktales
04 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hello, dear listeners. Despondent that the Kingmaker Histories isn't currently releasing? Of course you are. But luckily, there's an easy fix for that...
Recommended Listening ii - Give Me Away
20 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hello, dear listeners. Despondent that the Kingmaker Histories isn't currently releasing? Of course you are. But luckily, there's an easy fix for that...
Recommended Listening i - Eeler's Choice
23 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hello, dear listeners. Despondent that the Kingmaker Histories isn't currently releasing? Of course you are. But luckily, there's an easy fix for that...
Chapter Thirty-One - Outfoxed
25 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Telesphore finally comes clean. Content Warnings: drug use, needles, gore, cannibalism, sucking/slurping noises (32:13-32:20)  Transcript Link  Wr...
Footnote iii - Finale Announcement plus Season 3 Bloopers
18 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Transcript link Sorry for the delay- we'll be back with your regularly scheduled Kingmaker Histories this time next week! Featuring: Taqi Nazeer, Henr...
Chapter Thirty - Wo Sich Fuchs und Rabe Gut Nacht Sagen
04 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Telesphore needs to go take care of something real quick. Content Warnings: gunshots  Transcript Link  Written by Meg Molloy Tuten  Cast in orde...
Chapter Twenty Nine - Diminishing Returns
21 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The gang runs into a small problem. Emphasis on 'small'. Content Warnings: body horror (22:20 - 23:02), mentioned animal distress (13:18 - 13:34), ani...
Chapter Twenty Eight - In With the New
07 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Klaus Holzmann paves the way for the nation's bright new future. Content Warnings: political oppression, violence, gunshots, mentions of torture, poli...
Chapter Twenty Seven - Colette's Inferno
25 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Telesphore comes up with an extremely ill-advised plan to help Colette have a better birthday. Content Warnings: drug use, unreality, audio distortion...
Chapter Twenty Six - A Mantelope for Christmas
20 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Iyer, Winterlich and Co get lost in London, and make an unexpected friend. Â Content Warnings: animal abuse (36:44-38:20), gore (41:07-41:24) Â Tran...
Chapter Twenty-Five - The Dog and Pony Show
06 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A routine con is interrupted by a loose canon cop who doesn’t play by the rules. Meanwhile, Holzmann has a productive week.  Content Warnings: ani...
Chapter Twenty-Four - Criminal Honeymoon
22 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Maxim Moretz sends some of his new friends to get in touch. Â Content Warnings: gunshots (3:11-3:12) (9:24-9:26) (14:20-14:21) (26:51-26:52), gore (2...
Chapter Twenty-Three - The Road to Bad Spukberg
08 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A storm forces the gang to take refuge in a castle with a rich, sexy family whose members definitely, probably, don’t drink blood.  Content Warnin...
Chapter Twenty-Two- Fenetre L'Esprit
25 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Colette hasn’t been herself lately.  Content Warnings: unreality, gore (1:29-1:31) (14:16-14:28), threat of self harm (15:42-14:46), body horror (...
Chapter Twenty-One- Operation Tiebreaker
11 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Unfortunately, the Kingmaker is no longer just the VSR's problem. Â Content Warnings: Eating/slurping noises (1:59 - 2:13), body horror/gore (4:22 - ...
Footnote ii - Blooper Reel
09 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Transcript Link Featuring: unruly cats, very creative swearing, Star Wars references, actors wishing harm on the showrunner, and a handy mnemonic for ...
Appendix vi - Maxim Moretz's Guide to Business
26 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Maxim Moretz and his nephew, Dieter, give you tips on how to run a wholesome, ethical, and legitimate family business. Â Content Warning: violence ag...
Appendix v - Eisen Iyer Changes Your Car Tyre
28 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Eisen explains how to change a tyre, or something to that effect.  Transcript Link  Written by Meg Molloy Tuten. With Taqi Nazeer as Eisen.  Soc...
Appendix iv - Ariadne Culver's Guide to Being Woman in the Workplace
04 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Learn the secrets of feminine success from the VSR's premier fleshcrafter. Though, you might not live to implement her advice. Â Content Warning: men...
Appendix iii - Telesphore Winterlich's Perfect Cup of Coffee
26 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Enjoy a hot coffee, the Winterlich way.  Transcript Link  Written by Meg Molloy Tuten. With Josh Rubino as Telesphore.  Socials: Twitter Bluesk...
Appendix ii - Klaus Holzmann's Guide to Self-Management
20 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The supreme commander of the Valorian army gives you some valuable life advice.  Content Warning: Gunshots (3:35-3:36)  Transcript Link  Written...
Chapter Twenty - Swiss Holiday
08 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Trouble comes knocking.  Content Warnings: Gore, gunshots  Transcript Link  Written by Charlie Green  Cast in order of appearance- David Au...
Chapter Nineteen - Birthday Presents
23 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Maxim Moretz gives Iyer, Winterlich and Co. their most perilous mission yet- attending his nephew’s birthday party.  Transcript Link  Written b...
Chapter Eighteen - Rat Meat
09 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The gang get lost in the Seltsamwald, where they aren't quite as alone as they thought. Â Content Warning: Gunshots, kidnapping, unpleasant eating no...
Chapter Seventeen - Cutting the Mustard
27 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The gang go to Dijon, France to do some industrial sabotage.  Content Warning: Vomit (21:52-22:12)  Transcript Link  Written by Gus Zagarella...
Chapter Sixteen - For the Republic!
12 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Following Ariadne's apparent death, Leonid deals with his lack of purpose by joining the army. Â Content Warning: Gunshots, vomit (12:38 - 12:40), g...
Footnote i - Mid-Series Q&A
22 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Transcript link  The cast and crew of the Kingmaker Histories answer all of your burning questions.  Featuring music from TeknoAXE and Odd Chap  ...
Appendix i - Forgive Colette!
26 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Eisen's latest invention leaves the gang very, very far from home.  Transcript Link  Written by Meg Molloy Tuten. Produced by Rogue Dialogue Pro...
Chapter Fifteen - Run Rabbit Run!
17 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
An unorthodox job offer sends the gang down a rabbit hole through the seediest part of an already very seedy city. Â Content Warning: Gunshots(27:2...
Chapter Fourteen -Knock Twice for No
03 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Colette drags the boys to a public seance hosted by the VSR's best spiritualist. Â Content Warning: Vomit/choking sounds (13:01) Â Transcript Lin...
Chapter Thirteen - Synecdoche
20 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
An administrative screw-up leads to one of Eisen's magic artifacts being mistaken for a little girl's dollhouse.  Content Warning: Fire  Transc...
Chapter Twelve - Straightforward Solutions
06 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
While the boys are in jail, Colette deals with problems of her own.  Content Warning: Gore  Transcript Link  Written by Meg Molloy Tuten  C...
Chapter Eleven - Nothing Like a Good Prison Riot
23 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The gang runs into some trouble with the law.  Content Warning: Gunshots, gore  Transcript Link  Written by Meg Molloy Tuten, exec produced by H...
The Kingmaker Histories: Season Two Trailer
01 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
An Important Announcement from the Valorian Army, for the Citizens of the VSR. New episodes releasing soon.  Transcript Link  Written by Meg Mollo...
Chapter Ten - Chateau de Arme Brilliante
03 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
They have a saying in the VSR - "The past doesn't stay where you want it to."  Content Warning: Gunshots, explosions, gore.  Transcript Link  Wr...
Chapter Nine - Pink Seagrass Blues
17 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Eisen and Telesphore finally get around to introducing Colette to their fleshcrafter friend, but before they can reverse the spell on the Kingmaker sh...
Chapter Eight - Room to Let
03 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Fed up in her quest to get the Kingmaker, Ariadne tries a new strategy for getting information- being nice to people. Â Content Warning: Torture, gor...
Chapter Seven - You’ll Never Want to Leave!
20 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Telesphore recieves a telegram from some childhood friends who live in a village full of Kehrseite ex-pats.  Content warning: Kidnapping  Transcri...
Chapter Six - A Hard Rain
06 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In need of a doctor, the gang find themselves roped into a magical conflict between a man of the cloth and two wild women of the woods. Content warn...
Chapter Five- The Devil’s Maw
16 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Eisen accidentally drops a valuable artifact down the gullet of a giant monster. Written by Meg Molloy Tuten Content warning: Body horror, vomit. Tr...
Chapter Four - The Wrong Door
02 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When the trio are stranded in the middle of nowhere, their search for petrol leads them into a life-or-death situation. Content Warning: Gore, Unreali...
Chapter Three - Remedial Haggling
18 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The gang are trapped in a landscape of illusions by a master mentalist with an axe to grind. Written by Dana Schiewe Content Warning: Unreality, gun...
Chapter Two - What the Hell is Blue?
04 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Eisen conducts a series of highly scientific tests to determine how he can best use the Kingmaker to his advantage. Content Warning: Swearing, gore, ...
Chapter One - Happy Konigstodestag!
21 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Assistant tailor Colette Geise experiences a migraine that destroys her life. Content Warning: Gore, gunshots. Transcript Link Written by Meg Mollo...
Prologue - The Fall of Crystal City
07 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A royal advisor flees the castle on the night of a bloody revolution and finds the world’s best hiding place for the king’s secret doomsday weapon...
the KINGMAKER HISTORIES - Trailer
16 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The story of a seamstress, a diamond, a witch, two men in a van, and a large amount of invasive alien fauna. KINGMAKER - premiering October 2022. Tran...