Chapter 1: What is the $100,000 Ball Drop event about?
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Good morning. Good morning, Australia. Hi. Hi. Live this morning, here we are in Frankston at the Tennis Centre. We've got quite a big day.
Yeah. That's good morning, everyone.
Come on, turn Jackie's mic on, for Christ's sake. No microphone for Jackie, fellas. Thanks, Brooklyn. My mic isn't working. Is mine working? Good morning, everyone. Even Peter's is working. And a lot louder than everyone else has said, back off, bitch. How's it going, guys? A lot of people here. I love it. You've all turned out. This is amazing. Well, it's going to be quite the day.
In front of us here at the Frankston Tennis Centre, there's the tennis court. That's the $100,000 ball drop zone. If your balls haven't dropped, as soon as you hit that tennis court, they will. Later on, the helicopter will hover. About 50 metres above that court, it will eject 100 foam tennis balls down to the waiting listeners. You'll grab a ball. Every ball is worth a big prize.
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Chapter 2: How did the helicopter situation affect the event?
Some all-nighters are here. What's your name, man? Rebecca. Oh, sorry, hit her straight in the face with a microphone. Don't chip her teeth. Rebecca. How pumped are you to get involved in this ball drop? I was so excited when I got the phone call. I was like, wow, this is crazy. There's coffee stations here. I smell food. There's a lamb barbecue.
Lamb barbecue is already going. So if you were in the Frankston area in Melbourne this morning, you can still come out now because Meat and Livestock Australia have got the barbecue free. Fanging. It's absolutely awesome. Oh, lamb. Yum. The sausages are so good.
Chapter 3: What prizes can participants win during the ball drop?
How good. We've got a popcorn machine, as you said. Multiple coffee carts. It's a whole extravaganza this morning. Even the cash cock is here. So we can come and ride the big crowd.
We haven't seen the cash cock for a while. It's over there flopping in the wind. A good morning to the carnies that operate our cash cock. Love a carny. If we don't, the carnies look after us. I love these fellas. Hey, Kyle, I don't know if you were aware, but you went and got a massage recently at East Gosford Thai Massage. Yes. So, like, they put it up on their Facebook.
They asked you for a photo, yes? Yeah, this is after I... Remember I had a fall last week? I fell over nude at home. Oh, it was after that. It was a couple of days after that. I was still a bit sore and, yeah, we were up the coast. And, yeah, I went into that little town in Gosford and they found a little tie joint. And got the massage.
And then they got the photo and they put it up on their Facebook page. Well, the woman said to me at the end, Mr. Kyle. Mr. Kyle loved that, you know. Mr. Sandlands, really, but I didn't want to pull up. Yeah, yeah. And she said, could I get a photo? And then she wanted to audition for Idol. Oh, yeah. I said, sorry, the audition's over. Do you get that a lot? Yes. In real life? Oh, yes.
When people just want to, like, sing for you? Yes, yes, yes. Oh, God, is that good or not? No, it's terrific. I'm not interested in it. I don't know if I'd like that or love it or hate it. But they put it up on their Facebook page innocently enough. They just said, you know, great to get a visit from the legend, Kyle. Might see if he can get me an audition for Australian Idol.
Yes, there they go again. Well, they were used to, they usually put up posts and at most they might get 1,000, 2,000 people looking at it. Jesus, even that's quite sensational, numbers for a little... Mass Arts Place. No, this has been viewed 600,000 times and it has blown up with people trolling their account because they're... Oh, haters.
Well, yeah, like... And the poor things are trying to defend you at every step. People are going, oh, did you fit on the table? And then they're like... Oh, that's a good question because some of those tables are a little flimsy. They're absolutely... Really seriously, yes, some of our customers are 6'4 and 125 kilos. Tie tables are a good size. Aren't they cute, these ties?
And then another was like, did he request a happy ending? And they're like, no, he's not a dickhead. So they're defending you. Yeah, I knew it was a no happy ending joint. You can tell. When they bring out the hot stones, you think, oh, okay, it's one of those places. Well, I think it's like the more they defend, the more people are jumping on. Yeah. So the big joke up there is...
They thought I was at some rub and tug joint. Well, yeah, I mean, some thought that. It's all different types of comments, as you'd imagine. And why are you bringing it up? Why are you putting fuel on the fire? Squirting your Zippo lighter fluid all over this little flame. That's true, actually. I didn't even think I'd be fanning that flame. Brooklyn, do gay men... Hello.
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Chapter 4: What challenges did the team face during the event?
What does it look like? Now I'm really scared. I want to see what boobs look like without nipples. Like maybe they don't look that bad.
No, but you would see scarring where the nipple is. So it won't just be this perfect like balloon surface. Yeah, that's true. There'll be botched scarring from the nipples missing and areola. Like that poor girl. Yeah. Yeah, I feel for her. This is why you've got to go somewhere reputable. You know, when you're getting plastic surgery especially, don't do it on the cheap in a different country.
Hey, talking about doing it on the cheap, if $2,990 is too much for an areola, I can order a large Domino's pepperoni pizza to be delivered. What's happened? What do you mean? What's happened to us? Well, you brought this up. You asked Bruno. Bruno, I did not ask him to do jokes about it. Hey, I did notice yesterday in the news, Pauline Hanson's new anti-woke movie, which I found hilarious.
You said, Brooklyn, yesterday some cinemas had cancelled. Yeah. I think some Melbourne cinemas and some Tasmanian cinemas, they banned the movie.
Which confused me because they would have originally had to have gone, oh, Pauline Hanson's got a movie. Yeah, let's show it. And then later they've decided not to.
Anyway, they've changed their mind because I don't know what made them change their mind, but I heard this yesterday. I was a bit outraged. I was like, you can't just cancel movies that are comedy because you don't agree politically with someone. If you don't like that sort of comedy, you just don't go and see it at the films. You don't go to the movies.
Yeah, all views should be allowed out there, right?
And the worst thing... Anyway, they've changed their mind. The cinemas have reneged on that cancellation and they sold out last night. So Melbourne cinemas, Tasmanian cinemas, Sydney, Brisbane, sold out all over the place. It's a funny movie, sort of like a South Park vibe. But the thing that was worse... is the song from the movie that Holly Valance did, iTunes took it down yesterday. Oh.
iTunes did? iTunes took it off. So it was the number one song on iTunes around the country. They took it off because they didn't like the satire humour. And I looked down on iTunes and I thought, oh, well, maybe iTunes, you know, are protecting us all. And then I realised, oh, no, R. Kelly's songs. You can still buy R. Kelly's songs. Remember that guy?
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Chapter 5: What special delivery did Kyle receive from France?
..an angel strawberry from your favourite show. Well, I managed to get my hands on the audio of Kyle opening his special delivery off the air.
Oh! Daddy's gonna love this. Give me a little nightgown.
Chapter 6: How do the hosts react to Kyle's special delivery?
This is beautiful. And this is all made at the Chateau. Oh, my goodness, I think this is marmalade from the Wolves' Garden.
Thank you in advance. Kyle's house is full of useless stuff like that. Turns out things aren't so different at Jackie's joint. Is your daughter messy too?
So messy. Get her to pick up those shits. Oh, darling, I just constantly am trying. They just don't register or think about it. Well, you need to start taking away things they like. I thought that this morning. I thought, I'm going to start taking away her stuff somehow to get this through. What's good to do is let them know, if you do this, then this is going to happen. Yeah, repercussions.
It doesn't work with my three-year-old, but your 15-year-old... You know that Jackie's obsessed with ChatGPT. She actually thinks that it's her friend. Well, I bet Jackie didn't expect to hear these words. You're the only woman in Australia who can turn a casual chat into a full-scale psychological case study in under 30 seconds. Oh, my God. She does know you. You don't just go on a date.
You debrief it like a UN inquiry. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
There are subcommittees, attachment styles, tarot cards, birth charts, a spirit guide on standby, three therapists in rotation, a notes app. Oh, God. And you think this thing's your best friend?
You just made it. We had a listener on air this week who wanted to apologise to someone he bullied in high school over 20 years ago. But it didn't really go the way he wanted.
When I saw your name and your face just pop up, it took me back to when we were kids at school. All that shit that I put you through and the things that I said after you, you know, came out to me. and spreading those rumours that, you know, you tried to touch me or tried to hook up with me when we were alone together. Like, I just felt really bad.
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Chapter 7: What parenting challenges are discussed in this segment?
No, not the sound effect. But gull idol is the one everyone's talking about this week.
We started by searching the country far and wide to see who had the gist of the gull. OK, go, Rob, go.
Oh, my God. Sounds like I'm at the beach.
Yeah, I like it. You know, Sophia, I hope you're good because we don't have a female in the finals yet. Oh, well, I'll give it a shot. Let's hear you sing, Sophia.
Let's do it. Ah!
Yeah, no. Congratulations. We've found the winner, everyone.
Still no guilt. Well, everybody knows that the bird is a winner. Until we arrive to the semi-finals where the competition heated up.
Here's the chip. Oh, my... Your face, actually, you became the seagull. He became the seagull. Like, in front of my face, I saw him turn into a bird. Yes. What was the goal? Yeah, you could... Yeah, Adam, you rocked that. Jay, what emotion? Give me scared seagull. Give me heartbroken... Oh, my God, I can feel that. I can feel the pain of that. Yeah. So that leaves Jay and Adam for tomorrow.
Well, everybody's heard about the bird.
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Chapter 8: What happened during the Gull Idol competition?
A colonial inquiry.
Yeah, where all the old people that are white and colonial investigate what happened. All right, are we ready for Gull Idol? Kyle and Jackie O's Gull Idol. It's all thanks to Australian Idol. That little baby starts on TV. We're so proud of the group of contestants that we're putting forward this year.
7.30, Australian Idol, they say the best ever start to a series in all series of any show ever made, which I think might be bullshit from the PR department, but I'll be watching it regardless. It's Monday night, right? Yeah, Monday night. You didn't say that. After all of this. No, you said you didn't. Weeks and weeks of talking about it.
I'm looking out for you for the person who's tuning in for the first time today. Thank you, Jackie. And you haven't said what night. Yeah, Monday night. And with Goal Idol, I've enjoyed this way more than I thought I would. With people ringing through with their seagull impersonations. People are good at it.
And they are good at it, and we got all the finalists in yesterday, and they went through a series of challenges, and they were so good. We narrowed it down to the final two, and those final two were men named Jay and Adam who will be competing here. One's from Sydney, one's from Melbourne. Let's bring Jay and Adam, our final two. Come on up, boys. Let's see the boys.
Let me talk... Let's talk to Jay first. Jay. Jay. Yes, yes, I'm here. Okay, Jay. Now, you're going to be first up, okay? I am. You'll be performing not only to everyone at home, but the people here who will help decide. Jay, you're the Melbourne guy. You're the rep for Melbourne. Yeah, Melbourne! Come on! And Adam over here, dressed also as a seagull. It's hard to tell them apart.
All seagulls look the same. You are representing the Sydney audience, is that right? Yeah, I'm from Sydney, guys. Come on, give me some love.
Yeah, we love love.
Hey, which one of you two, did one of you two only just discover you could do this? Or have you both been able to do it? You can break character now. I'm sorry. You're standing on one leg. I'm one with the gull. You are. I do love the commitment. Never dull being a gull. Remember that. I think Jay's been a lifelong seagull. He's done it since he was a little fledgling.
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