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The Last Show with David Cooper

On Your Romantic Partner's Spending

25 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

1.718 - 12.37 David Cooper

Love, science, and the most outrageous news. It's all here. The Last Show with David Cooper.

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15.218 - 35.872 Christina Bauer

Does your partner's spending style affect your relationship more than your actual bank balance? New research outlines how financial happiness isn't always about the numbers. It's about whether, to you, your spouse feels like a saver or a splurger. Let's dive in with someone who worked on that research. She's a financial planner and lecturer at the University of Georgia, Jamie Lynn Byram.

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36.272 - 37.755 Christina Bauer

Jamie Lynn, welcome to the show.

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38.115 - 39.758 Jamie Lynn Byram

Thank you. Thanks for having me.

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39.856 - 47.47 Christina Bauer

So with your research, are we actually talking about money or are we talking about what money means in your relationship between you and your partner?

48.125 - 66.041 Jamie Lynn Byram

Both. So what we looked at was how couples perceive themselves and their partners in regards to whether they're a spender or a saver. So this work actually came from my dissertation.

Chapter 2: How can your partner's spending habits affect your relationship?

66.101 - 76.731 Jamie Lynn Byram

So I created a survey and had married couples separately and quietly complete the survey, and the study went from there.

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76.981 - 95.091 Christina Bauer

Well, let's dig into the study. My understanding is that the perception of how your spouse spends or saves is more important than your actual financial reality. To me, that feels almost dangerous, right? We can kind of be in a blissful idea of the other person and that could ignore the kind of reality of the facts in the marriage with money.

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Chapter 3: What does research say about financial happiness beyond just numbers?

95.729 - 124.69 Jamie Lynn Byram

True. Also, the opposite of that is common. People in relationships sometimes incorrectly assume that they know their partner, their perceptions of their partner are correct or could be incorrect. As a financial planner, I've seen several times where one person believes that their partner is a spender when

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124.67 - 139.375 Jamie Lynn Byram

And in actuality, looking at it from my point of view, that person is most definitely a saver. It just may be that that person spends differently than their partner. So they're going to perceive it differently.

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139.415 - 148.23 Christina Bauer

Or perhaps they spend a lot, but they always spend within their means. And they're also very good at saving. The other partner might get annoyed by that, but there's actually nothing wrong with it.

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148.396 - 189.823 Jamie Lynn Byram

Exactly. That idea itself is what sparked my desire to do this as a dissertation. I had a client, a married couple, both senior level partners in their jobs. They had fully funded retirement, fully funded education goals. They were on the path and doing very well. And it happened, the wife got a bonus for her particular work that season, and she bought herself a purse, a four-figure purse.

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190.364 - 220.742 Jamie Lynn Byram

And when her husband found out about it, he hit the roof. And, you know, thought she said, even said that she was going to, you know, spend them just into bankruptcy, which was far from the case. I mean, they were, you know, A plus if I had to grade them as clients as far as reaching their goals. But in his mind, you know, she was a spender and was going to cause them financial harm. And

220.722 - 233.303 Jamie Lynn Byram

Another interesting piece of it, she was done with his behavior towards her spending and other things, and she was thinking about divorce.

233.523 - 237.229 Christina Bauer

Wow, I'm loving this example. I'm on the edge of my seat with this example.

237.209 - 263.37 Jamie Lynn Byram

So he thought the marriage was fine. He had no understanding that there was an ounce of problem within the marriage. And she'd already seen a divorce attorney. So it was fascinating to me how you could have two people in the same marriage who perceived one another so differently in not only financial satisfaction, but also marital satisfaction.

263.41 - 290.849 Jamie Lynn Byram

And so that started my path of figuring out, is this common? Because sometimes when you see things, you think, well, this is how everyone does it, but then you have to realize that's just one couple. Out of, you know, who knows how many. And so I wanted to broaden it to see, is this really something or is it a one off?

Chapter 4: Why is perception of spending more important than actual financial reality?

478.268 - 503.62 Jamie Lynn Byram

Well, I would say communication, but then also I've found it helpful for couples to have, I guess, fun money. Some label it that way. I'll let them call it what they want to. Funny money, mad money, you know, whatever. It's a set amount of money that each person gets. in a month and they can spend it however they want with no judgment.

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504.06 - 519.126 Jamie Lynn Byram

So if somebody wants to wallpaper the bathroom with $5 bills with their money, they can do that. That's their business. And that tends to help where someone feels like they have something that's theirs that they can spend on without any judgment.

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519.19 - 529.312 Christina Bauer

And it might be cheaper than real wallpaper, which having just done my house is very expensive. Well, Jamie Lynn Byram is a financial planner and lecturer at the University of Georgia. Jamie Lynn, thanks for sharing your research with me.

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529.352 - 561.699 Unknown

I appreciate your time. Thank you. She's the lawyer with the legendary name. Don't underestimate Miss Matlock. This woman's a shark. You know it, baby. The one you can trust, even if she has to bend the rules. Things aren't always as black and white as they seem. To crack a case. This is how I get things done. Emmy-winning actress Kathy Bates is Matlock. All new Thursdays at 9 Eastern on Global.

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Chapter 5: What common misconceptions do partners have about each other's spending?

561.719 - 563.423 Unknown

Stream on Stack TV.

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