Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Most people still focus more on talking and telling than they do on listening and understanding. So I learned this very vital skill young, and it's changed everything that I've been able to achieve and accomplish in my life. And I thought, what if we all learned this, how much more successful people could be.
Christine Miles is an insightful, transformational, and people-centered CEO, author, and the founder of Equip. Through her work, she helps leaders and organizations strengthen communication, deepen understanding, and build more meaningful human connections, creating lasting impact through empathy-driven leadership and growth.
There's no listening education in schools across the world. And it's the most fundamental skill that we're expected to do and not taught how to do. So my mission is to change that, not only to do that, but to do it in a simple way that's scalable.
It spans the globe like a super high school internet. Elvis! Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone. It's not over until I win. The Living Your Legacy podcast for those who live to leave a legacy. That's extraordinary. The impossible.
Chapter 2: How did Christine Miles develop her unique listening skills?
Oh, that is sensational.
Open. Chicago was the lead. You said Paul is the fastest man on the planet. You
Welcome back to another powerful episode of the Women in Power podcast for Inside Success. I'm Ray Gutierrez. Something that all podcast listeners should be very good at is listening. And Christine Miles is quite the person we should be listening to. Christine, how do you feel?
I feel great. I appreciate you shining a light on this very important problem and solution.
Right on. We literally just finished filming your episode for Women in Power. How does it feel?
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Chapter 3: What is the difference between listening to respond and listening to understand?
It feels great. I had a magnificent producer who knew how to ask the right questions and help get the right insights. So it's right on par. I loved it.
General Lauren. I love it. What are we going to learn about you in your episode? Give us a quick preview.
Well, I have quite a backstory. I think most people do. I mean, this comes from a very honest place. I learned to listen differently when I was very little. My mother suffered from mental illness stemming from an early childhood loss. She lost her mother from childbirth. And I learned to listen differently as a kid.
really shine a light on what most people didn't see, what was below the surface, just like my mother's pain was below the surface. Warm, exuberant, loving on the surface, but underneath she had this pain and sadness. So I learned this very vital skill young, and it's changed everything that I've been able to achieve and accomplish in my life.
And I thought, what if we all learned this, how much more successful people could be? So this is a cause and a business for me.
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Chapter 4: How does empathy-driven leadership impact communication?
A causative business. So no pun intended, but what are we listening for? Is it just beyond what we can hear auditorily? Are we looking and feeling frequencies? Speak more into it.
Yeah. So I think we're very much skimming the surface in general. It's really nobody's fault because we're told to listen and not taught how.
Sure.
I think some of us listen at a different frequency. I think that's an empathy thing. I think some of us are more wired for empathy. We're more wired to tune in at a different frequency. But empathy builds when you learn how to listen. So I think we can all get to a different level when we do this well.
Yeah, that's something I admit that I struggle with. I don't listen. I don't even think before I speak. I just speak. And I've learned now as of in my 40s that it requires a little bit of emotional intelligence and a little bit of assertiveness over how you react to something because I'm not quite listening.
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Chapter 5: What is the Listening Path framework and how is it applied?
What are some key steps for folks that are just on this path? And they're like, wait a minute. I feel like if I'm a better listener, I'm going to be a better person, a better leader.
Yeah, better leader, better person, better partner, better parent. So it's a soft skill that has hard outcomes. And it's not your fault that you're not listening well. The brain is the greatest enemy. So think about what's firing and wiring in your brain. You're thinking of your own story, your own impulses, your own thoughts, your own feelings. It's all in our subconscious brain.
What you just described, emotional intelligence, is putting those things kind of into our conscious mind. So ironically, listening builds that muscle. When you learn to do it, but we're white knuckling it because we're just relying on good intentions instead of or the idea of behaviors. Let me look at you to listen.
This is what active listening has been kind of reduced to, which is really just how we perform at listening rather than actually do it. So what I intend to do is revolutionize how we listen to understand by not focusing on behaviors, but tools.
I love it. I love how you nailed it. The performance of the act. It's something we are all guilty of. And I try not to be. But we're doom scrolling. We're paying attention to a television set and our phones and our iPads. Someone's yelling at us. Someone's asking something of us. We're feeling something. And that was just 30 seconds ago.
How do you combat with the everyday, with the noise pollution?
Well, there is a lot of that. And I worry a lot, not only about adults, but young people, because they're starting early and then they're used to the scroll and the passive and the quick fix and the dopamine from all that.
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Chapter 6: Why is listening considered a soft skill with hard outcomes?
So what's the antidote to that is to give them the tools. So here's the metaphor of the listening path, which is the new and breakthrough way of listening to understand. You wouldn't go hiking in the woods. Maybe you wouldn't anyway. I don't know. Some of us wouldn't. Not a hiker. But if I said I'm going to drop you in the middle of the forest, you wouldn't go in unprepared.
For sure.
We're in the conversational woods all the time unprepared. There's all kinds of side trails. There's all kinds of trouble. So what's the path to get to the understanding of the summit? Well, you need those supplies. So metaphorically, we give the tools for your backpack so that you can understand.
Wow.
You wouldn't go in the woods without a map, right? So here's probably the biggest takeaway I can give for your listeners today, is that when you're listening, you're always listening to a story. Yep. But people drop us in the middle, not at the beginning, and we're confused right off the bat. Episode four, yeah. So we live in a world of misunderstanding.
Every day, you say to your kid, how was school? They drop you in the middle of it. You don't know it. Your spouse has a problem coming home from work. You're dealing with a project at work, whatever it is. We're in a sea of misunderstandings. It's the job of the listener to sort that out, to guide the speaker, to tell their story in a way that makes sense to us.
If you don't have a map, you don't know where you're going.
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Chapter 7: How can better listening lead to stronger relationships?
You're going to be lost all the time.
What do you say to folks to me that aren't really listening to the data that you're saying, but I'm really listening to the harmony and the music of your timbre? Like I respond more sonically to you as opposed to the data you're feeding me is two plus two equals six. Sorry, that was bad math on purpose.
Two plus two. It's okay, I'm not good at math either. So you're listening for more of the emotions, more of the feelings. You're feeling your way through the conversation. Well, if you were watching a movie and you only listened to the feelings, would that be enough to get the story going?
No. But I'm a filmmaker as well. I'm looking at the framing of the shot, what's communicating to me visually, how the actors in frame, emoting and how the lighting. But that's beyond auditory. That's visual now.
Right. But you know what you're looking for.
Exactly.
Okay, so that's why we need tools. If you know what you're looking for, it's easy to find it. It's like the highlights.
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Chapter 8: What tools can improve listening skills in various environments?
If you know the key at the bottom, you know which animals to look for, you see them in the forest. The same is true in the conversation. Some people tune more into facts. That's more typical than what you're describing, than tuning into the feelings, because we're socialized to not tune into feelings so much. So you have the opposite problem, which is a great problem to have.
Awesome.
But you need to learn how to get those facts too because there's two parts of the narrative, facts and feelings. And that's one of the tools that's on the map. Again, if you know what you're looking for, you know how to find it.
But it's frustrating for me because you're absolutely right. I'm more about the feeling and the reactive because I'm an artist. And when it starts getting into the granular data, I'll have a mini panic attack and I'll get very aggressive and mad and I'll throw a five-year-old tantrum because I can't defend myself because the charisma no longer works.
I can do the charisma thing for a 20-minute podcast, but on that 22nd minute, boy, am I spent. Because I've been listening too much, I'm responding too much, and it's just like, how much can I keep up this energy? Which leads me to my next question. How do you feel like entrepreneurs or thought leaders really communicate to each other?
I'm not saying telepathically, but there is a smidge of telepathy in there.
Well, I think they share a passion that is a rare thing that a lot of people are so tapped into. Because when you're an entrepreneur, you better have purpose and passion in what you're doing or you're going to give up. And I would say we're all in a tunnel and we're just chipping away to see where the light is. We don't know if we're a mile away or an inch away. So entrepreneurs share that.
But my experience is that most people still focus more on talking and telling than they do on listening and understanding. And I think we miss a lot because we're not trained or taught or given the right tools to learn how to do that.
So what exactly are you learning? What's the end goal? So I'm listening better. How am I supposed to feel now? Am I supposed to be more successful? Or is money just going to magically spring out of my pocket because I paused before I had a thought? What happens after someone meets you and you kind of rewire them?
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