Chapter 1: What are the unique challenges of recording a podcast alone?
We are all shooting our conversations separately and we're all going to be alone talking. So I thought I would take this time upon myself. I'm going to eat some food and no one can stop me because no one's here. I think Ash is kissing other girls, but I did kiss another guy at a party once, but I'm not gonna tell him that. We're at the top of this mountain, and it's like pitch black outside.
My dad's like, don't move. And we all turn, and then I see it. Fear struck my soul. I walked into this house, and when I walk in, all I hear is screaming and yelling, and I'm greeted by a bunch of grown men throwing knives with blood all over their hands. All right, guys. Well, welcome to an episode. So we are all shooting our conversations separately and we're all going to be alone talking.
So I thought I would take this time upon myself and I'm going to eat.
Chapter 2: How does fear manifest in extreme situations?
I'm going to eat some food and no one can stop me because no one's here. Hey, it's Harper Zellmer. I got three knives. Don't ask what I'm going to do with them, but I'm going to stab a hole into all three of these people's faces. So let's get it going. Let's start the episode off with another banger. Oh, yeah.
all right so first we have an ace we have three aces okay great all right just watch this y'all aren't gonna be able to hear me for a minute but y'all will be able to see this so ready here we go all right okay here I go ready guys first one Hold on. I was really good at this. I honestly give up. Like, I thought I was good at this, and obviously I'm not. I don't even know what to do.
I'm on an episode alone right now, and last time I did this, I got majorly bullied on the internet for it. So, yeah. But we just filmed an episode, and I don't really know what I'm going to do tonight. But I have a marker, and I want to write everybody that I hate on it. So... Yeah, but I'm not going to do that because I'm a good person.
So anyways, yeah, I'm trying to talk about what happened to me. There's a lot of like school drama happening. I don't know what to do for prom.
Chapter 3: What unexpected events occurred during a hunting trip?
I don't know if I'm invited or not. Like I hope I'm invited. My dress looks really good. It's like straps. Then it goes down like this. Then it goes up like that. Then it curves down into this beautiful looks like this. With a bunch of dots on it. Wait, I'm just realizing this. Like, I can literally say whatever I want right now because they're not here. Like, what do I even do? I'm so bored.
I hate being alone. But, like, at the same time, I don't even care. You know what? I'm going to talk about everybody on the podcast. What I like about them, what I hate about them. Let's go. All right. First, Maverick. There's not much to like about him. He... Is gay. All right, next. Um, Kenzie. Uh, she... What? She's pretty. She's gorgeous, nice, kind-hearted soul. Um... Yeah, Cash. Um...
I think he's in a secret relationship with Maverick. So I'm going to leave it at that. And then Kate. Kate is ā she's very nice too. I really like her.
Chapter 4: How does isolation affect personal relationships?
Amazing girl. Love her so much. Guys, like this is like ten minutes of the episode just for me, and I have nothing to do. Like what do I even do? Last time we did this, I was like jumping around the episode. I've changed my ways. My throat hurts. I'm tired. I don't even want to do anything. Hold on. And I'm so hungry, but I had 10 chicken minis this morning. So, yeah, that was a lot.
Anyways, I'm trying to think. I'm in school right now. I'm a junior. Last time I filmed this, I was a freshman, which is so weird. Like, what is happening to me? I'm literally getting so old, and I still think I'm so funny. But, yeah, I'm getting old. I am tired. Like, I'm getting ā I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm dying. I'm genuinely dying. I don't know what's happening.
Like, my throat always hurts. I'm tired. My head hurts. I can't even talk. I just want to go to bed all the time.
Chapter 5: What lessons can be learned from past mistakes in friendships?
I wish I could take this 10 minutes to go to bed, but I can't. Honestly, like... Things are getting, I wish I didn't go first because like now I have to like, I couldn't think of anything to talk about. So now I'm just like sitting here alone. But we just had Uber drivers on. They were really nice.
But this greedy guy literally, he literally, so we were like, we were playing steal or share with $100. So they had to write down steal or share for $100. He stole them. Show them in three, two, one, go. Steal shit. And he was like, I have a six month baby to feed. It wasn't even your baby. What? Sorry. Um, and then I don't know. That was, that was just thought that was kind of rude.
Cause she literally had an, like a storage unit that she had to pay for. And he didn't understand that. So sorry, sir. Maybe next time. Don't be so greedy. I mean, like, I understand, but, like, doing good will get you so much more in life. Like, you know. Oh, I guess I could talk about, like, my struggles and, like... how I, you know, oh, I went to a cheer competition this weekend.
If y'all saw me there, let me know. Um, a girl came up to me and was like, why did y'all cancel the San Antonio show? Oh, also people think I'm really annoying. Um, I just want to say I'm trying not to be so annoying. Um, but sometimes it's hard. I bad ADHD. So it like goes everywhere. I'm trying to think what's happening with like with the influencer world. There's a lot of drama with my ex. Um,
I'm gonna leave it there um uh yeah I don't know I am still in the same place I've been well no I just got back like a few weeks ago from the asylum
kidding, not, okay, but, like, yeah, that was, that was crazy, that was pretty hard, prom is in a few months, I have Hawaii in a few months, I'm going to Hawaii for my cheer, cheer thing, so I'm trying to get abs before then, but it's so hard to go to the gym, I cannot get myself out of bed to go to the gym, and instead, I like to stay home and scroll on my phone, so, yeah,
Guys, like, what do I even do? Like, I need a date for prom. I don't have a date. Like, what is my life, like, coming to? Like, genuinely, I don't know what to do. I'm so done. And I want to be a singer, but my throat hurts really bad. I think that's just a temporary thing, hopefully. But I wonder how y'all are doing. Like, I really hope y'all are doing good.
I'm going to write on the back of this, cash sucks. no i want to write something worse oh also i'm shadow banned on tiktok anytime i post it like gets zero views that's why i'm deleting all my tiktoks because like it says ineligible for recommendation and i'm like dude come on what oh my gosh sorry ineligible for recommendation i'm like what are you doing
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Chapter 6: How do social media dynamics influence personal interactions?
By the way, that means you can't get any more likes or something like that. So, it's kind of sad. But, yeah. I mean, it's okay. Like, honestly, it's a roller coaster on TikTok. Like, views go up and down all the time. I'm just going to write on here, Cash likes boys. Cash Baker. Wait. I'm going to do my best handwriting so he understands. Guys, I'm so tired. I got no sleep last night.
Cash Baker. And then I called Kate this morning, told her everything. I've like never called Kate, but this morning I just felt like it. I felt like maybe no relationship with her. Cash Baker likes. Actually, I'm not even going to tell you what I'm saying. He can just turn it over. I don't even think he's allowed to say this on the episode. So I'm just going to leave it there and let him read it.
Oh, yeah. Um, by the way, freaking, um, the last episode, I said that I had a crush. I do not have a crush. That was totally a joke. Totally just, like, to talk about something. I don't know. Sometimes I say stuff that I don't actually mean. I don't actually mean that, guys. Like, I promise I don't actually have a crush. But, um, if anybody's up to date me, I'm always here, you know.
Um, but, yeah. And now I want to throw knives again. Maybe while I talk to y'all, I'll throw knives. So I'm going to put my board over here. And yeah, just give me like two seconds and I'll like sit right back down. If you guys live in Australia or Europe, you're going to want to listen to this because this March, we are going on tour overseas.
So if you guys live in Sydney, Melbourne, London, Manchester, or Dublin, we are going on tour this March, and you need to get your tickets before they sell out. So go get them at thelolpodcast.net. We'll see you guys overseas. All right. Got my thing set up. Dude, this never works. I'm actually done. Why am I not good at throwing knives? That's the one thing.
I'm turning this over so nobody sees it. That's the one thing I want to be good at and I can never be good at it. But my favorite food, okay, I'll just go over everything. My favorite color is pink.
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Chapter 7: What humorous incidents arise from baby care?
My favorite food is yogurt or cheese. I like cheese for some reason. I don't know if that's gross. It stops up your immune system, or no, your digestive system, so I haven't pooped in nine days.
yes, that was the best throw ever, right on Kenzie's face, all right, um, I haven't pooped in, like, nine days, I am having issues with that, um, haven't peed in 12 days, maybe that's why my throat hurts, um, and yeah, everything, everything's just going downhill, Um, what about y'all? I sent a cameo, a cameo this morning. I like those. Those are fun. Um, me and Cash did an episode alone.
He's so embarrassing. Um, and yeah, I wonder if you can shave your legs with this. This is a very sharp knife. Don't play with knives at home. Oh, my gosh. And then we tricked this door dasher that I was literally, like, 19, and he believed it. He was like ā and he thought the cash was 14. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm 19. I'm 19. So that was funny.
But, yeah, my ā like, I don't know what my life has been recently, but ā It's been kind of boring, so I have nothing to really talk about. Like, I guess, like, do I have a crush? No, I don't. Do I have any drama? Not really. Like, things are just getting boring. Like, come on, guys. Like...
come on like seriously um but i hope this is not in the first part of the episode because people will definitely click off because they're like harvard what are you saying um but it's fine and also um cash said that my lashes were too long and i got really offended and now i'm hurting Yes, Alex is zooming in on my lashes, like I understand. Now my nose hurts.
Okay, three, two, oh wait, this is the wrong one. Three, two, one. Wait. I can't get it through. Give me a second. Okay, put this in the beginning of the episode.
I am, guys, I'm literally going to put my head through this canvas, three, two, one, oh my gosh, what, hold on, this is cutting very easily, it's honestly scaring me, all right, guys, I'm going to put my head through this canvas, three, two, one, oh, You're probably good. Do you want to like throw the star at the TV? I just want to throw the card at the TV. This at the TV? Okay. You stand up.
Guys, I'm literally so done with this whole episode. I'm just going to give up and throw this at the TV. Let's go. All right. Three, two. I'm so scared. It's going to go back on me. You can stand up and throw it from back here. Okay. Okay. Here I go. Three, two, one. I want to go again. Hold on. That literally almost went into the TV. All right. Three, two, one. Stella, come here.
Hey, yo, Stella. Don't throw knives up here. Don't throw the knives. Stella, come here. Stella, go. Stella, come here. Come here.
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Chapter 8: What is the significance of addressing bullying in today's society?
Okay, last and final one. Last and final one. Peace out, bro. Shaka. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. As you can see, it's just me. I don't know if you've gotten that memo yet or if I'm the first face you're seeing on today's episode, but we are doing another episode where everyone is by themselves, okay? We did this a long time ago, and I had a lot of fans. for my one woman show.
Guys, our holiday merch drop is now available. If you guys wanna go check it out, go to thellopodcast.net. We have a bunch of new designs for you guys. One of my favorite designs ever, the sketch tee is now officially on a crew neck and it is so cute. We also have a hoodie and a t-shirt with one of our favorite Bible verses, Isaiah 41 10.
And also a LOL pod baby tee and a long sleeve tee for you guys. So if you guys wanna get these merch pieces, make sure to go to thellopodcast.net. So today I have brought, excuse me. Relax. Do you not get the point of an episode by yourself? Did you break the TV? No. It was like that when I got here. Looks like you're cooking. Okay, you're stealing my spotlight, please.
I'm trying to get to my bedroom, man. Okay, well you're gonna have to wait. Now I'm just gonna sneak through here. Just don't mind me. Anyways. I have prepared another one-woman show for you guys to watch. And this show, I hold very near and dear to my heart, okay? Because it is something I lived through. I'm going to be recreating a very important story in my life for you guys to watch.
So, that being said, let me set you the scene. What year was it? Oh, gosh. Oh, well, if I'm, yeah, well, okay, 2016. The year's 2016, maybe 2017. I'm not good with dates. I'm at my best friend's house, Haley, who also happens to be Cash's cousin. And start scene. Naughty, let's get naughty, girl. It's only one or two.
Haley, who's that beautiful boy over there making thirst traps in your refrigerator wipe? Oh, that's just my cousin Cash. You've never met him before? I suppose I could have met him once or twice, but I don't recall him looking like that. Well, that's my cousin. Frick! Hey, ladies. What's going on? Hold on, I'm making it musically. I'm doing the slow-mo part. Okay, I'm done. What's up?
Hi, I'm Kate. I'm Hailey's best friend. Hi, I'm Cash. I'm Hailey's cousin. Okay. We spend the rest of the evening getting to know each other and I fall madly in love with this young boy who was making thirst traps in the refrigerator light to the song Ride at the age of 12. Very inappropriate if you ask me, but we'll move past that. As time goes on, we begin to fall in love with each other.
I love FaceTiming you, Kate. You are my one true love. I love FaceTiming you too, Cash. Do you want to date me? Although I love you very much, no. That doesn't make sense why you wouldn't want to date me if you love me that much. Kate, don't you know that I am a super ultra mega famous Musical.ly star with thousands of girls after me? I just hit 30,000 followers on my Musical.ly. I got options.
Okay, well, when you decide that you're ready for me because I'm probably the best option you will ever have, let me know. I'll be here patiently waiting. Okay, until... Okay, until then, I will continue to lead you on over the next few years of our life. Fine by me. Okay, the year is now 2018, and I get my first boyfriend, who is not my first boyfriend. I get a boyfriend who is not Cash.
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