The Luke and Pete Show

Bitter Sweet Batteries

22 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The people have spoken! Today we're finally discussing the result of our poll, where we asked you lot who's more likely to die first: Luke or Pete. Sh...

Pete from Glasto

18 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete went to a “fake festival” and surprisingly it actually sounds quite good. Although Pete’s outfit raises a number of alarming questions…Sp...

Holloway Road Taco Bells I admire

15 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete needs to buy a birthday present for the partner he has access to. To the car boot sale he goes...Elsewhere we discuss nighttime toilet etiquette,...

How many new players?

11 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s doing the show from his parent’s house, yet it’s actually Luke that spends the first half of the show uncovering all his childhood trauma...

Pete Logie Baird

08 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's been fiddling with the tech in his apology cabin and - believe it or not - it's actually gone well! Just don't ask about his first attempt tryi...

How pickled are your onions?

04 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s weekend was RUINED by under-pickled pink pickled onions. Naturally, he didn’t make a big deal out of it on today’s show or anything…Onc...

YouTube shredded beef

01 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete went rogue and almost started beef with a film director on YouTube. Surprisingly the man was into it and a potential friendship is now on the car...

Fingers Against the Machine

28 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's been a brilliant week for The Luke and Pete Show: Stak won two awards at the British Podcast Awards, the wife Luke has access to graduated from t...

An “Oops!... I Did It Again” moment… (emails special)

25 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We promised you an emails special but we spent the first part of today’s show talking about batteries. What else did you expect? We do eventual...

Ronald Reagan’s sexy sweat pants

21 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s been a bit hot! That didn’t stop a naked Donaldson sharing a bed with another naked male though… Elsewh...

I think Bryan Ferry might have lived here for a bit

18 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Luke goes stomping around London like a massive red music nerd, and Pete's found a prison phone in his apology cabin. [email protected] for al...

I was actually talking about mountain biking the other day

14 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete returns from Cornwall, covered in paint and reeking of adhesive. What could have occurred? Have a listen and find out...Scores are settled regard...

Captain Podcastin'

11 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

After an extensive stroll, Luke decides to wear a sailor's hat to the show record, while Pete's opted for a cracking diving helmet. Just the thing to ...

Duracell vs Eveready

07 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever thought about doing a flying elbow onto a printer? We haven’t, but naturally there is someone on the internet who has… Elsewher...

My dog ate my magic

04 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Someone made the mistake of giving Pete the responsibility of working on a rum bar. It went just as well as you can imagine…We also hear whether Pet...

Apple cider win-egar

30 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We're throwing down the necromantic gauntlet as Pete threatens to buy tax-deductible magic tricks off the internet, all the while stinking of apple ci...

Welcome to the Peteriarchy!

27 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Lukey's bathroom is finally finished so he can look at his mangled forty-two year old body in a heated mirror. That's progress! Oh yeah, and Pete is t...

Just a dad, down the pub, doing a Wordle

23 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Can you believe that pubs used to close, for a few hours, in the middle of the afternoon? How would the kids (and dads) of today cope…Speaking of da...

Another million lost

20 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What do the people who go on Love Island and Question Time have in common? That is the question Pete is answering on today’s show and the fact he do...

Hold on to your hands

16 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete started watching Stanger Things from series 4. A classic renegade move from Donaldson.Today, we hear what it is like to play life-sized Monopoly ...

Metallica nativity

13 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Why is everyone in Essex good at football? That was the difficult lesson Pete learned when trying to save penalties while dressed as the Queen…Elsew...

Saturday scallop fever

09 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Are you ready for the ultimate Luke and Pete Show pivot?On today’s show, we go from dissecting the deepest darkest issues of UK politics to hearing ...

Welcome to Luton

06 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Planes are the order of the day on today’s show! We’re discussing two aviation-themed Youtube pranks that ended up with… well, pretty different ...

Legalise the Planet of the Apes

02 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve got a bonus bank holiday, baby! In amongst the revelry of a four-day weekend though, we spare a thought for The Pope. Like... how do you think...

Introducing... The Joe Marler Show - About Funeral Directors

01 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back to recommend another podcast we think you’ll love!Joe Marler may be an England rugby player, but his podcast is not just another rugby ...

The 9 things that make you a juggalo

30 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What would Pete be like if he was a juggalo? That's the unexpected proposition Luke is considering on today’s show!We then discuss acceptable theatr...

#Lads behaviour

26 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s got an idea for a new TV show. And if we're being brutally honest... it’s not actually that bad.We then hear about some #lads behaviour as ...

The new succulent Chinese meal

23 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete has officially lost the plot. We are deeply, deeply sorry for the first 5 minutes of today’s show…Elsewhere, Luke tells us about his trip to ...

Introducing... Eureka! - Should we fear an alien invasion?

21 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever been annoyed that Pete won’t let us talk about alien invasions? Today, we're going to put that right!We think you'll love 'Eureka!', S...

Would you eat a steak off Pete’s belly?

19 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Just one of the many disturbing propositions Luke is faced with on today’s show. Furthermore, it’s a historic day in our quest to uncover new...

Banyan trees, forged art and the metaverse

16 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A photo has emerged where Luke and Pete look like Tony and A.J Soprano. The problem? We can’t decide which one is which.Elsewhere, we take an unexpe...

Wait, what is the Loch Ness Monster?

12 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete enters into a state of general meltdown on today’s show. Surprisingly, it’s only partly due to his upcoming endoscopy. We also read a fa...

Tell me lies, tell me sweet small town lies

09 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s turned into a film critic on today’s show, making an interesting case as to why Jackass should have won Best Picture at the Oscars. We...

Trailer: The Luke and Pete Show | New episodes every Monday & Thursday

09 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson for a hilarious unplanned half hour every Monday and Thursday! Here's a little taste. Hosted on Acast. See acast.co...

A "cheeky" trip to Norwich

05 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are back and feeling silly after Pete tried to do a handbrake turn in the car park pre-show. Not sure why. We then learn the shocking ne...

More food mama, give us more food mama

02 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s bank holiday Monday, baby. Sweet beans! In related news, Luke and Pete both have shocking admissions in relation to their beans consumption...&...

Keep my Swedish indie club out of your god damn mouth

28 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete has been getting recommended indie clubs again - shock! However, this recommendation didn’t come from an expected source. The lads also di...

Hidden biker communities

25 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today's the day! Pete finally talks about his trip to Wrestlemania, where he became obsessed with a wrestler called Mr Iguana, obviously.We then discu...

The long-necked beast

21 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the day of reckoning on the Luke and Pete Show as we finally get an update on whether Pete has bought a pub or not.From one seismic event to an...

Three kings bring fruits of the forest

18 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Easter’s over, which means we simply must check up on Pete and find out how his stomach coped with the festivities.Luke then revels in some more ani...

Do you know where Alaska is?

14 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The two “fashion gurus” we have access to are back! And they're tackling a major problem: how do you dress fashionably as a 40-year-old man?Elsewh...

The sweet (beans) spot of weddings

11 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete spent the weekend with his mother-in-law. Sounds wholesome, right? It actually involved stinging nettles, antihistamine gel, a football in a rive...

Wallet, keys… revolver

07 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How many slaps do you think it takes to cook a chicken? The answer lies inside today’s show. We also learn the AMAZING reason why a man lived in an ...

Dogs on a plane

04 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

On Thursday, we heard all about Pete’s trip to St. Lucia. It’s now Luke’s turn to update us on his holiday antics. He may not have had an encoun...

Busy young thrusting executives (B.Y.T.E)

31 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The two busy young thrusting executives you have access to have returned from their holidays. On today's show, we address the rumour that Pete went on...

WeTransfer conspiracy theorist

28 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

New week, same Pete Donaldson, who is back reading stuff out from Reddit. Today’s topics include - Elton John, Voldermort laughing in different lang...

Ducks vs peas

24 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve neglected our duty on the Luke and Pete Show. It’s been a month since the Winter Olympics and we still haven’t spoken about the man with t...

Has Elon Musk got enough money?

21 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete went to the arcade at the weekend and it turns out he is very good at the coconut shy. He's now rich with arcade tickets – just a shame that he...

Pete Donaldson, “The Pub Landlord”

17 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Breaking news, Luke has officially been added to the neighbourhood Whatsapp group. A major development in local news that can only be topped by the fa...

Only Foods and Sauces

14 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Birthday Albert Einstein! We celebrate this special occasion by hearing about how Wayne Rooney was knocked out by fellow footballer Phil Bardsle...

Have you ever had anything lopped off?

10 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Small people are being verbally attacked by pro gamers and Pete is reeling. REELING. This begs the question: what would Pete be like if he was 6'3?We ...

My almost fingerless Friday

07 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s well-publicised tax issues have led to Luke coming up with a genius money-making scheme for the pair of them. Warning, it involves NFTs and s...

A Billy wristbreaker

03 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Is Luke a Giant Wotsit, a Wheat Crunchie, a Frazzle, or all of the above? The answer lies in today's show...Plus, more hand-hurting emails! We discuss...

The Skewer in the Hand: A New Forest based King Arthur

28 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s living in his own world and he’s making the rules, which makes for one scary society if we’re honest. We hear all about the rules in his ...

Shacket from the Crypt

24 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Luke is looking resplendent in a shacket on today’s show. That being said, he wasn’t looking so good when he waded through the mud to watch Rocket...

A panther attack in… Worcestershire

21 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are attempting to take on fashion today, although it ends up being more of a fashion disaster (we’ll let you decide if that’s a surp...

Like a PUBG pro, touched for the very first time

17 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete have been busy in cyberspace since the last show as they finally managed to find time to play PUBG together. If only Pete still didn’t...

A knitted assailant

14 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s health problems are raging on worse than ever thanks to an attack from an old jumper. However, Luke helpfully has a suggestion which might im...

The first rule of Chinese Fight Club

10 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to Thursday’s Luke and Pete Show. Today's big news is that Fight Club has a new ending in China! More predictably, Pete's still not watched ...

Donald Trump deepfakes

07 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s going to be a hot boy summer for Pete Donaldson because indie sleaze is back! Donald Trump is also back with his weird word pronunciations – ...

The reincarnation of Diggory Donaldson

03 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a transformational show for Pete today. He opens it with a major announcement about a seismic change he has made to his life. What's more, we t...

Why am I drinking Tyskie in a nice restaurant?

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Here at The Luke and Pete Show people look to us as the leading spokespeople in podcasting on social etiquette. Today we confront our biggest challeng...

Man! I Feel Like an Unknown Euphemism!

27 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back! We start today’s show in the most obvious place: Shania Twain’s Wikipedia. We then take a deep dive into a series of film and TV rev...

Why do these kids look like ostriches?

24 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Monday, on today’s show Pete is very upset after hearing Logan Paul has been having issues with his rare Pokémon cards. Before we know it we...

You’re twisting my UFO man

20 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Here we go, it's the day you have all been waiting for: today we finally announce the results of our big battery poll and reveal whether “Aerolatte”...

Non-fartible token (NFTs special)

17 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we start our NFTs special in the most logical place: Pete’s dad’s local pub. Once that is covered, we get back on track (slightly) by h...

Bugs not hugs

13 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pete has been doing some “work” research by checking out Spotify's back catalogue of erotic podcasts. He reportedly hasn’t managed to find a Her...

Forest Defenestration

10 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a new week and Luke has arrived with a story about how he chucked his Christmas tree out of the window. However, that has nothing on Pete’s c...

The breastfeeding cat

06 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Thursday on the Luke and Pete Show and we’re here to bring you a story about a woman breastfeeding a cat. What else did you expect? We t...

A romp of biting otters

03 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to the future. It’s 2022, and Pete is teaching Luke about those ultramodern NFTs. The outcome? They’re all shit. One thing that isn’...

Reproducing salmon

30 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Arm-shelving still exists in 2021 and Pete won’t stand for it! We are hurtling towards a new, hopefully arm-shelf free, year and the lads are back f...

Christmas Special Part 2: Pete's naughty little secret

27 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back! What day of the week is it? We don’t know, but what we do know is that we are here for part 2 of our Christmas special. We’re discus...

Christmas Special Part 1: A lovely old Christmas fight

23 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It was the show before Christmas, and Luke and Pete are here with the first part of the LAPS Christmas special. On the show, the lads discuss what the...

An acquired taste of a human being

20 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This is the Luke and Pete Show, your one-stop shop for all of the latest Sex and the City news, apparently. Once Pete has updated us on the latest gos...

Why is there a bull in a striped shirt?

16 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today, Luke and Pete finally manage to stay on topic for long enough to talk about Luke’s trip to Devon, where he played the fruit machine in the ar...

Monster trucks are back, baby!

13 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What do Pete and Marcus Rashford have in common? They work hard for the kids. Unfortunately, those kids have been deprived of monster trucks for far t...

Outlaw mod hairdresser

09 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to today's modcast! The thought of Pete Donaldson driving over two hours to Norwich to go to an Indie night was too much for Luke on today’s...

Terrible steak, excellent sprouts

06 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tis’ the season for Brussels sprouts! Luke and Pete have started attending those dreaded Christmas parties which, if we’re honest, are situations ...

Anti-vaxxers, horse meat and Christmas adverts

02 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Please, take a moment to be present, it’s Thursday and the Christmas party season has officially started. Luke and Pete are discussing anti-vaxxers,...

Cans

29 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Monday, so grab a can and come listen to the Luke and Pete Show! We’ll be having all the usual tipsy chat, from “Dr” Gillian McKeith chec...

Money Talks, in association with Klarna

26 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s bonus episode, Luke and Pete are playing Klarna’s brand new game, Money Talks, which is designed to get people talking more openly abou...

I’m here to pick up a wand

25 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Pete is still spending most of his spare time on Facebook Marketplace - but he isn't selling a magic wand, much to the disappointment of a five-year-o...

The sweetest beans

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to the Luke and Pete Show Beans Special. We’re talking sweet beans, baked beans, useless butter beans - not the boxer, although he also gets...

Ian Brown’s nunchucks

18 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Pete has only brought two subjects that he wants to discuss on today’s show: Ian Brown’s nunchucks and a lead singer who took a very interesting c...

Did you know Lionel Blair was born in Canada?

15 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Monday, and it was an eventful weekend. Pete stepped out of his comfort zone and attended a 90s weekender at Butlin's in Bognor, while Luke sta...

Pete bought a second reel-to-reel player

11 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Heartbreak on today’s Luke and Pete Show; apparently the traditional full English breakfast is a dying art. We mourn that and also hear how Pete bou...

Marvel Studios: The Dregs

08 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Luke went to see the new Marvel movie this weekend, even though no one warned him to avoid any outdoor activity first - the big sleepy bear. To be fai...

Chasing dads

04 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Thursday, it’s The Luke and Pete show and we have more stories about being chased by dads thanks to an email from listener Carl. However, bef...

The Shoreditch of Lithuania

01 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Pinch punch! It’s the 1st of November and spooky season has been and gone. Today we chat about Halloween, and more importantly, how Pete didn’t in...

Mormon karate master

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Thursday, everyone - we're back! Luke and Pete are talking dads, Mormons and karate masters. Or, in one extraordinary case, a dad Mormon karate...

I don’t respect my George Foreman Grill

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Back for another week! Today on The Luke and Pete Show, we discuss which household appliances we respect the most. Spoiler alert - Luke's George Forem...

Crocodile Heads in Norfolk

21 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Why don't billionaires do a remake of the Titanic? Why is a man going to Norfolk to buy dead crocodile heads? How are space probes fuelled? Why has a ...

New Rave Roller Coasters

18 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Monday! Welcome back to another half an hour with The Luke and The Pete. This time around we talk James Bond, which naturally leads into a chat ...

Fiddling with your own shed

14 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We come to you this Thursday with bad news. Pete's shed has stopped working! All the electrics have packed in and our eponymous hero is left wondering...

Bernard Matthews is a turkey man, first and foremost

11 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome along to a new week of LAPS, as the cool kids are calling it now. Luke and Pete, resplendent in their shackets, join each other to talk about ...

Who's going to tell Busta Rhymes?

07 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Thursday! It's time for some more tales from the broadcasting front line, courtesy of our eponymous heroes. On this episode, we first take in wh...

Selling your skin

04 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to a new week of LAPS! It's lovely to have you along. Pete's back from his holidays with the partner he has access to, but he missed the dogs ...

Mind that horse

30 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Just how much time did Pete spend on that Jack Bauer chat forum back in the day? The guys attempt to get to grips with it and find out just how deep t...

Paranormal activity in the shed

27 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Has Pete bought a set of walkie talkies to use down the shed so he doesn't need to spend quite as much time in the house? Yes, yes he has. And that ca...

Volcano Pete

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Pete is off to the Canary Islands just in time to see a volcano erupt everywhere. Bloody typical. Will he come back covered in molten hot magma? Stay ...