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The Luke and Pete Show

Society & Culture Comedy

Episodes

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Brassy Steampunk Cows

05 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, while Luke’s been away spending time with some steampunk farm animals, Pete’s tells us about his recent DIY kitchen work. Elsew...

A Heavily Latexed Armadillo

01 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today's show, Luke wants to know which sexy beast Pete would morph into if he could. Meanwhile, Pete has some interesting thoughts on one poor man'...

What's Cooler Than A Million Dollars?

28 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, the boys discuss the do’s and don’ts of takeaway etiquette after Pete orders a large steak on Deliveroo.We also have news on wh...

Don't Bark If You Can't Bite

24 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, musical maestro Luke spins the decks for Pete as the boys take part in some musical quizzing, before we take flight towards the pot...

Microdosing MSG

21 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke and Pete crack open some Tyskie cans, munch on posh crisps and discuss the benefits of microdosing MSG as we digest the latest...

It's Been...

17 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Puff Puff Pete tells us about his casual visits to Doobsville, USA, before Luke shares news on a dating disaster involving one man ...

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

14 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, we’re recording in the fast lane as Pete shares breaking news of the world's most bizarre smuggling scandal to date. Elsewhere, L...

Delicious Nonsense

10 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today's show, Luke discovers news about a man who's been living alone on an island for decades and considers how he'd survive living solo. Elsewher...

A Birthday In The Bathroom

07 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today's show, the boys are back in the studio to celebrate the Luke and Pete Show's 4th birthday! While Luke brings the party to life with live kar...

The One Where Pete Goes Sleepwalking

03 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke gives us some insight into the family he has access to and the fun and games behind the seafood shucking industry, before the ...

It's A F***ing Emergency

31 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke and Pete are reunited as Pete updates us live from a deep, dark corner of Canterbury where he’s been enjoying some MSG-cover...

Only Fans And Horses

27 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete is joined by Vish once more to discuss the art of life drawing and how to handle awkward parent situations, before we look tow...

The Honda Jazz Man

24 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, while Luke’s away for the week, Pete is joined by fellow Football Rambler and Honda Jazz driver, Vish! While Vish offers some muc...

Voltage Fraud

20 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke takes us down memory lane for a disastrous story about a very awkward bucket of chicken, while Pete records from his man shell...

The Driving Test

17 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete is fresh out of his driving test as we find out whether he passed, what went wrong, and why he’s been drunk-texting his inst...

Motorway Scooters and First-Person Shooters

13 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete begins preparing for his long-awaited driving test, while Luke shares news about a potential inbound rocket heading for the st...

Belated Birthday Bobbleheads

10 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete’s back for some belated birthday celebrations after spending a night in the zoo and Luke’s ready to throw a live party, be...

An Unexpected Goose and A Model Photoshoot

06 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke is joined by Jim again and the boys are in for one hell of an emotional roller coaster! Jim shares news on the world’s most ...

Aliens, A&E and One Big Canal Catastrophe

03 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It’s another Jim Campbell special!On today’s show, Luke’s joined by none other than The Crappening star, Jim Campbell! While Pete’s busy celeb...

One Incredibly Smooth Man

29 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke introduces us to the most clean-shaven, manscaped man on Earth, meanwhile Pete’s got news on a huge gaming achievement fr...

Crutches, Coconuts and Cats on Ketamine

26 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke and Pete discuss the injuries they accrued over the weekend, with potholes, ketamine and day-old pizza involved…it’s been ...

What Is That Smell?

22 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke shares fascinating news surrounding NASA’s new helicopter flying on Mars, while Pete is more interested in Tesla rear end...

Pub Punch-Ups and T-Rex D Cups

19 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, n00b-pwner Pete Donaldson shares all about his recent trip to the pub after spending the entirety of lockdown flirting with Tyskie ...

Turbulent Cartwheel Restrictions

15 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke shares an update on his lockdown personal training plans, meanwhile Pete takes us on a turbulent trip through his recent fligh...

An Armadillo Role-Play

12 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, punk Pete Donaldson gets ready for his very first driving lesson in a Formula 1 car, before the boys discuss the joys of pubs reope...

A Satisfying Stolen Shoe Horn

08 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today's episode, Pete dives into discussion about the most satisfying feelings in life, before Luke tells us what shoes to avoid wearing if you don...

You're Not The Boss Of Me Now

05 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete tells us all about the homemade steaks and professional haircuts he’s been giving his dogs over the weekend. Meanwhile, Luke...

An Excess Of Dirty Cheese

01 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today's episode, Luke and Pete give us the rundown on their new film idea, 'The Bitcoin Boys', after hearing that Cocaine Bear is coming to the big...

On fire and headed for a fatberg

29 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete are discussing their funeral wishes and mourning the loss of Maplin from the high street. It’s not all doom...

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

25 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete describes an intense 50 mph visit to the supermarket with a co-driver he has access to, meanwhile Luke asks what the most enjo...

A Shopping Trolley Bounty Hunter

22 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete introduces us to some shocking takeaway revelations while finishing off his Chinese for breakfast, before the boys discuss the...

A Whole Load Of Elephant Boobs

18 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete’s talks us through installing cow udders into his car, meanwhile Luke explores some fishy business involving mysterious praw...

An Owl In Fluffy Trousers

15 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke introduces his new moustache and tells us all about its important purpose, before Pete shares news about being mistaken for a ...

Pete's Private Potholes

11 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Pete explains his current Tyskie drought situation, before the boys discuss ‘the dank scale’ and some weekend pothole advent...

The Nonsense Corner Of The Internet

08 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, we hear all about Pete’s late-night fridge door antics, before the boys discuss what they’d do as Mayor of London for the day.....

The Posh Crisp Phenomenon

04 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, the boys discuss the highs and lows of the crisp industry before Pete takes us to his palace, more commonly known as the ‘garage’...

The Flaming Fireballs Alliance

01 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke and Pete discuss plastic gloves, flaming fireballs and a stupendous amount of skittles before we take a trip down memory lane ...

A Glitching House Move

25 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete soft-in-the-middle Donaldson tells us all about the glitches involved in moving house, before the boys begin a philosophical c...

Dodgy Hairstyles We Have Access To

22 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke gives us the full rundown on Pete’s assorted lockdown haircuts, before we turn to space to discuss the latest NASA rover mak...

Chimpanzee Wars and Plastic Dinosaurs

18 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We're back! On today's episode, Pete talks us through his recent nautical-themed eBay purchases, before the boys discuss their questionable interior d...

Don't Feed Your Kids Batteries

15 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Viking Luke and Musketeer Donaldson explore American vs British recipes and what not to feed your children. Also on this episode, L...

Pete's Famous Nipples

11 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We're back! On today's show, Luke explores the struggles of age-related back injuries, while Chef Pete introduces us to his top tips for getting busy ...

Front Door Gadget Scammers

08 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, the boys parachute into their own parish council meeting to discuss the latest on local door-to-door scamming, before Pete shares n...

Dreams, Dumps and Defragmentation

04 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke shares some peculiar news on the evolution of Wombats and we head over to Twitter to hear which politician Pete’s been argui...

A Warm Cup Of Nature’s Cafetière

01 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete prepares a cup of eggy coffee before the boys chat about their previous job experiences, involving dodgy jeans, industrial est...

Not Your Average Bedroom Decorator

28 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, the boys discuss their latest television binges, as Luke explores goblin castles and Pete tells us about TV’s biggest sore losers...

A Bath Full Of Aggressive Polish Beer

25 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete reminisce about some sexy dragon porn before Pete gives us a taste of his boozy bath-time habits. Elsewhere, ...

An Illegal Ham Sandwich

21 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, the boys fire up their engines to discuss flying cars and drone motorbikes, before Pete shares some shocking news about a recent...

Born in Hartlepool, made in the Royal Navy

18 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today's show, Pete tells us all about his days working in the zoo with animals in nappies, meanwhile Luke reveals who he's desperate to give a Chin...

Snail Survival Skills

14 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete take a walk on the wild side and discuss survival tactics: Luke fears facing crocodiles, while Pete worries about ...

Discos, Dads and Dirty Talk

11 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We’re back! On today’s show, the boys get stuck into some important business as Pete ranks his favourite types of army troops, before we discuss t...

A Real Speed Demon

07 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we’re back on the road as Speed Demon Pete Donaldson chats about his recent long-distance scooter trip, while Luke shares his ...

Pete's Pickled Fitness Plan

04 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back to kickstart the year! On today’s show, the boys explore some brand new healthy eating habits as we discuss the complex cuisi...

How to Behave in a Toilet Rave

31 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back and a Happy New Year's Eve! On today's show, the boys review 2020 before Pete tells us all about his new year's Samurai Sword ambitions. ...

The Flute and Pete Show

28 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back with more wonderful Christmas nonsense! On today’s episode, Luke shares the news about a rather explicit Nativity scene, whil...

Deck the Halls and Brine Your Turkeys!

24 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Merry Christmas from your favourite pals! On today’s episode, the boys get ready for Christmas as Luke prepares his turkey in a carrier bag and Pete...

Two Wise Men

21 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back and things are getting Christmassy! The boys discuss everything from Disney Princesses to fizzy lagers, plus important news abo...

Crunchy Foot Syndrome

17 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are back with more responsible chat as we discuss flight attendants in nappies, passing wind on public transport, and where to stock up on al...

A thoughtful small amount of beef

14 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete took his driving test last week and he’s ready to grill Luke on some of the more ridiculous questions on the test. Also on this episode, Luke r...

An Over-whale-ming Discovery

10 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Thursday, which means Luke and Pete are back for some more nonsense! In today’s episode, Luke discovers the profitable benefits of fishing fo...

Parkour Gibbons Galore

07 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are forward-rolling into today’s episode of The Luke and Pete Show as Pete illustrates his podcasting parkour skills. Meanwhile, Luke takes...

Celery Sticks and Poo Bandits

03 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back with more weird and wonderful conversation! On today's show, the boys discuss another bizarre discovery that washed up on an Au...

Alien Invasion or Avant Garde Installation?

30 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s back with turmeric stained fingers and he’s got something to say about Marc Haynes' impression of him on last week’s show. Meanwhile, Pet...

One noodle sandwich with no crusts, please

26 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Thursday, which means another dose of nonsense from The Luke and Pete Show! On today’s episode, Pete's joined by independent filmmaker, Youtu...

The Scream Database

23 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show! Luke's away for the day, so Pete's joined by comedy writer and Wrestle Me star, Marc Haynes! On this episode, ...

A faith-palm moment

19 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete talk all things holy after the Pope blessed a certain unexpected Instagram photo earlier on this week. Elsewhere, ...

Lock, Stock and...bags thrown out of the window?

16 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, the Chinese scooter is finally up and running as Pete’s figured out how to get it purring. Meanwhile, Luke’s discussing respons...

A Series of Unfortunate Pets

12 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are back with more nonsense chat in one firequacker of a show! On today’s episode, Pete has difficulties with his new moped and future drea...

Pete's New 125cc Lawnmower

09 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, DJ Pete and Pato Banton-turned-Luke Moore are here to start your week off right! Pete tells us all about nipple collectors befor...

An Octopus Revenge Plot

05 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Thursday again, which means the boys are back for another chat full of nonsense! Pete’s revving up to tell all about his recent CBT license a...

Woolly Mammoth Lollipops

02 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Luke and Pete are parenting - or at least attempting to - as we chat all things birth-related, with rugby players delivering babies...

A Milky Affair

29 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke put on his NASA hat as he discusses the current asteroid over-probing pandemic. The boys then talk capital punishment and w...

Has a vet ever operated on you?

26 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we hear about Luke’s pumpkin exploits and we get stuck into some special boat service chat. We also hear what’s been describ...

Inhaling our own toxins!

22 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke rinses Pete for his truly shocking dietary habits. The boys discuss the focus on black pain in various provider’s Black H...

J-League Batteries

19 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, Pete endures public shaming for his more questionable online purchases, including a realistic latex mask of an old man that did not...

Chicken satire

15 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Doctor Donaldson and Professor Moore are here to enlighten you with more profound interrogations of the world around us. As Stan the t-rex skeleton is...

An uncomfortable collection of twigs

12 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back with more weird and wonderful conversation! Pete explains how he ended up concealing sixty wrestling figures in a farmer's fiel...

You want that sock back, mate?

08 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back with a particularly poo-heavy half hour. Luke marvels at cats’ theatrics when doing their business, while Pete outlines his d...

Sniffer dogs are taking over

05 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

With grand piano and candelabra on hand, Luke and Pete talk pop culture divas. There’s also more chat about unnervingly effective sniffer dogs - and...

The Grand Central Terminal man cave

01 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Pete talks about a group of railway workers who got caught red handed making a man cave at work. Meanwhile, Luke explains why he...

Two old men yelling at clouds

28 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete are putting the fashion world to rights. Bum bags, flip flops and the new Man United kit are all being dissected t...

The Crappening

24 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s another Jim Campbell special! We’ve got some more news on Jim’s eccentric dad and an incredible story about Extinction Rebellion protestors...

The Luke and Jim Show!

21 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Jim Campbell’s long overdue debut on the Luke and Pete Show! Whilst Pete’s on holiday in an unknown destination, Jim’s filling in and you...

Drinky drinky falling over person

17 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s still in Scotland, so once again Pete had the pleasure of Chris Tilly’s company for today’s episode! The topics discussed include Chris f...

A sexed up ET

14 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s off gallivanting in Scotland! So for today’s episode, Pete is joined by Clash of the Titles’ host: Chris Tilly. Consequently, there'...

A fare skipper banged to rights

11 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s been caught red-handed skipping train fares and Luke’s got a story about a suspicious looking sandwich being mistaken for heroin.Also on to...

Liquid nitrogen in a Yakult

07 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we’re talking about the work of John Cage, what makes a good roast dinner and why Pete is not to be trusted with the company c...

Fry us an egg, mate

03 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to Thursday's edition of The Luke and Pete Show. Your hosts, er, Luke and Pete obviously, are here to entertain you for half an hour or so to ...

Breakbeat rewind

31 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to a brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! Our two eponymous villains are here once again to run the rule over whatever takes their fan...

A victim of a milky hate crime

27 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode is quite the menagerie - Luke and Pete hear news on the baby gorilla born at Bristol Zoo and we talk about a Greenland shark who’s...

A few too many red flags

24 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On perhaps the most mental Luke and Pete Show to date, there’s a nose and ear trimmer live on the show and Pete’s boasting about the A* he achieve...

Not much of a sweater

20 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a Thursday, which means another serving of nonsense from the Luke and Pete Show! This week, Pete’s playing with fire by recording semi-nude a...

On top of a great white shark

17 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show we’re talking about wildlings, the woeful ending of Game of Thrones and cannibalism. Also on this episode, Pete goes through ...

A munch on dog food

13 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we talk about some strippers who performed in a very unexpected setting, a translation mishap from a brewery and something unusu...

A free lickable treat

10 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s been putting alcohol spray on his shoes, Luke’s been having Zoom mishaps and we’re all just too damn hot. We also talk about Toshiba, fly...

Bagel Heads

06 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, we have a chat about Jonathan Swan’s Donald Trump interview and ask what’s happened to all the planes since the coronavirus out...

A fox in flip flops

03 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Another Monday, another installment of the Luke and Pete Show! In this episode we’re talking about mosquitos, 3D printed vitamins and fire poi.&nbsp...

Suspected ghost receives fine

30 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s animals all round on today’s episode, as Luke and Pete chat about crufts, foxes and The Supervet.We’ve also got an amazing story about a ma...

Power washing with Robert Pattinson

27 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we ask whether it’s okay to put cheese coleslaw in a pot noodle and whether Pete will outlive Keith Richards. The conclusion t...

Boxer shrimps changed my life

23 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, we’re reminiscing on some old school Glastonbury memories. Luke’s got some info on the micro economy th...

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