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The Luke and Pete Show

Society & Culture Comedy

Episodes

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You want that sock back, mate?

08 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back with a particularly poo-heavy half hour. Luke marvels at cats’ theatrics when doing their business, while Pete outlines his d...

Sniffer dogs are taking over

05 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

With grand piano and candelabra on hand, Luke and Pete talk pop culture divas. There’s also more chat about unnervingly effective sniffer dogs - and...

The Grand Central Terminal man cave

01 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Pete talks about a group of railway workers who got caught red handed making a man cave at work. Meanwhile, Luke explains why he...

Two old men yelling at clouds

28 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete are putting the fashion world to rights. Bum bags, flip flops and the new Man United kit are all being dissected t...

The Crappening

24 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s another Jim Campbell special! We’ve got some more news on Jim’s eccentric dad and an incredible story about Extinction Rebellion protestors...

The Luke and Jim Show!

21 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Jim Campbell’s long overdue debut on the Luke and Pete Show! Whilst Pete’s on holiday in an unknown destination, Jim’s filling in and you...

Drinky drinky falling over person

17 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s still in Scotland, so once again Pete had the pleasure of Chris Tilly’s company for today’s episode! The topics discussed include Chris f...

A sexed up ET

14 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke’s off gallivanting in Scotland! So for today’s episode, Pete is joined by Clash of the Titles’ host: Chris Tilly. Consequently, there'...

A fare skipper banged to rights

11 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s been caught red-handed skipping train fares and Luke’s got a story about a suspicious looking sandwich being mistaken for heroin.Also on to...

Liquid nitrogen in a Yakult

07 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we’re talking about the work of John Cage, what makes a good roast dinner and why Pete is not to be trusted with the company c...

Fry us an egg, mate

03 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to Thursday's edition of The Luke and Pete Show. Your hosts, er, Luke and Pete obviously, are here to entertain you for half an hour or so to ...

Breakbeat rewind

31 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to a brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! Our two eponymous villains are here once again to run the rule over whatever takes their fan...

A victim of a milky hate crime

27 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode is quite the menagerie - Luke and Pete hear news on the baby gorilla born at Bristol Zoo and we talk about a Greenland shark who’s...

A few too many red flags

24 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On perhaps the most mental Luke and Pete Show to date, there’s a nose and ear trimmer live on the show and Pete’s boasting about the A* he achieve...

Not much of a sweater

20 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s a Thursday, which means another serving of nonsense from the Luke and Pete Show! This week, Pete’s playing with fire by recording semi-nude a...

On top of a great white shark

17 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show we’re talking about wildlings, the woeful ending of Game of Thrones and cannibalism. Also on this episode, Pete goes through ...

A munch on dog food

13 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we talk about some strippers who performed in a very unexpected setting, a translation mishap from a brewery and something unusu...

A free lickable treat

10 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s been putting alcohol spray on his shoes, Luke’s been having Zoom mishaps and we’re all just too damn hot. We also talk about Toshiba, fly...

Bagel Heads

06 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show, we have a chat about Jonathan Swan’s Donald Trump interview and ask what’s happened to all the planes since the coronavirus out...

A fox in flip flops

03 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Another Monday, another installment of the Luke and Pete Show! In this episode we’re talking about mosquitos, 3D printed vitamins and fire poi.&nbsp...

Suspected ghost receives fine

30 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s animals all round on today’s episode, as Luke and Pete chat about crufts, foxes and The Supervet.We’ve also got an amazing story about a ma...

Power washing with Robert Pattinson

27 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we ask whether it’s okay to put cheese coleslaw in a pot noodle and whether Pete will outlive Keith Richards. The conclusion t...

Boxer shrimps changed my life

23 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, we’re reminiscing on some old school Glastonbury memories. Luke’s got some info on the micro economy th...

A friendship of mountains

21 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s been in the wars with a neck injury but luckily he’s now on the road to recovery, which is why we’re bringing you an episode on a Tuesday...

It's too windy for my turbine

16 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

What's the point of a wind turbine that blows over due to excess wind? Absolute rubbish. Shouldn't be allowed. We discuss that today, as well as getti...

A tale of many Keiths

13 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back for another week of unplanned nonsense interspersed with your emails, and what a show we have for you today!There's an in-depth...

Eight Crazy Frog Singles

09 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In today’s episode, we’re reminiscing about the glory days of Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, the Crazy Frog and Motorola Razrs. We’r...

Taking a mouse on the tube

06 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode we discuss a wrestler who lost his eye, the art of grave digging, and the sad passing of American actor Carl Reiner. Also on...

Joe Wicks vs Mr Motivator

02 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode, we imagine who would win in a Joe Wicks vs Mr Motivator face off. Choose your fighter.Elsewhere, we talk about face ID, magnet f...

Barrels of fire

29 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today's LAPS, we're asking: What are the things you see happen most often in the movies that *never* happen in real life? Example: people sleeping ...

What length are your socks?

25 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s Luke and Pete Show begins with a serious discussion about the likelihood of being struck by a meteorite. And when you crunch the numbers it'...

Dig it

22 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s episode we’re discussing how Pete's sartorial approach to visiting different countries, and remembering the heady days when emo music w...

Jordan v Donaldson

18 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show Luke opens up about his toenail problem, we have a crack at diagnosing what on earth is going on with Prince Charles’ hands and Pe...

Eating mushrooms in a public park

15 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode features 80s indie music, Michael Fish and Phillip Schofield. But not all at the same time.Also on the show, Pete’s been having pi...

Pete angers someone

11 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s an email special! Today we’re reading a whole load of emails from you lot, including one from a man who has had a particularly unfortunate ex...

Hands off my personal allowance pouch

08 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to another Luke and Pete Show! This episode we’re chatting about Pete’s dim sum, sharing lessons we learnt from visiting Haven holiday cam...

The Theremin and Pete Show

04 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s Luke and Pete Show, Luke’s temporarily replaced by Pete’s theremin, we’re advancing the theory on how many holes a straw has and we...

Leave your facts at the door

01 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s another Monday which means it’s another Luke and Pete show! Today we’re talking sun cream, paper walls and inappropriate songs. Plus, ...

Straw Holes?

28 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On this fine Thursday we’re talking about such glamorous topics as outer space, The Land of Fire and Jurassic Park. And on a slightly less glam...

The Judder Child

25 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Hello! We’re delighted to bring you a brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show on this fine bank holiday Monday! On today’s show, we’re ...

Another problem eels don’t need

21 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Thursday which means we’re back with a brand new episode of The Luke and Pete Show!Today we’re expanding on Monday’s conversation about a...

Doorstep surprise

18 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode features lost Deliveroo orders, a man plagued by his next door neighbour’s disgusting habit, and drag racing in electric cars. Tha...

Swimming inside a whale

14 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode begins with some admiration for legendary musician Florian Schneider who sadly passed away last week.Elsewhere, Pete’s dreaming of...

Out in space on a big string

11 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On today’s show Luke and Pete are reflecting on the amazing life of Little Richard, as well as discussing a curious floating hotel and the possibili...

Quest to find the strangest person

07 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to today's LAPS! This time around we’re talking about how Elon Musk managed to wipe $14bn off Tesla’s value with a single tweet, and ...

It's Been's back

04 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Since the lockdown started, memes have got danker, Kanye’s become a billionaire and Pete’s grown confident enough to challenge Post Malone on his ...

Happy Birthday Pete!

30 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete turns 39 today! As a birthday treat, this show features an email about a red fireman’s thong, a story about a man experiencing a particularly b...

Dishonest master of coin

27 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s email section has been described by Luke as ‘the best week since September 2018’, which is high praise indeed. We’ve got people runnin...

Pop it in your mouth

23 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s episode starts with Pete holding in a burp, and goes downhill from there...The boys are discussing the resilience of the humble tin foil hat...

The humble pumpkin

20 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This episode features pumpkins, cradle snatching, a violent medieval ball game and a discussion about what constitutes a real ale.Also on today’s sh...

Every day we're skitching

16 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Thursday to you all! On today's Luke and Pete Show we discuss the chilling development that Pete might be renting a dog during lockdown, before ...

Rubbery Eggs

13 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The boys are back in their barracks and Pete is fresh to the party with some wicked whispers about MailOnline and a certain pop star. Ooooh, who could...

Whale explosions

09 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to The Luke and Pete Show where two grown men who used to sit inside talking to each other about the mundanities of life have been forced...

Spying on Tony Blackburn

06 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Hello and a very happy Monday to you all! On today's episode of The Luke and Pete Show, our two eponymous antiheroes discuss the films of John Hughes,...

You do the meth

02 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

As promised on Monday's episode, today we share with you an adorable twitter account run by a security guard at a cowboy museum. Check it out now, bef...

A tennis sock full of Chicken McNuggets

30 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Monday! It's another day under lockdown, another day in the corps, and what could be better than listening to the latest missive from two d...

A doomsday prepper in a digital furnace

26 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Thursday! Another day in paradise/lockdown. As the isolation starts to take its toll, Pete spends a lot of this show talking about cables and US...

Deafened by an oil drum

23 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete is back from his latest overseas sojourn and, let's be fair, he's walked right into the middle of an absolute shitshow. Soho is deserted, save fo...

Man eats phone

19 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In this second episode of The Laura and Luke Show, Laura talks about what it's like living with an Australian man (spoiler: it appears to be pretty mu...

A female voice

16 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In the absence of Pete, Luke is joined by Laura Kirk of Stakhanov's Revisiting to discuss some tales in the life of Florida Man, why she likes going ...

Do not insert the frozen potato slice

12 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

On this episode we’re discussing bull fighting, ‘dining & dashing’ and a problematic home remedy which utilises frozen sliced potatoes.&nbsp...

A digested pedometer

09 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the start of the week which means a brand new episode of the Luke and Pete Show. On today’s show, we’re talking about the coronavirus,...

Return of the Hobgoblin

05 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Back in April of 2009, three men were unceremoniously ejected from their London-based radio show and asked to never return. Something they'd said on t...

The ex-Xfm breakfast show

02 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Not sure where to start with this one to be honest.If you were unlucky enough to experience the Alex Zane breakfast show between 2007 and 2009 you'll ...

Florida Man records podcast

27 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We're here to gently usher in the weekend with another episode of The Luke & Pete Show. Come on in, get the kettle on and put your feet up.Today w...

Pharaoh admin

24 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We've got another round in The Luke and Pete Show chamber, ready to fire it at ya on this drizzly Monday. Luke's been to the Tutankhamun exhibiti...

Episode 199.98: A grandad, a spade and an innocent heron

20 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It’s Thursday, which means a brand new episode of The Luke & Pete Show. Luke’s bought a new video game and Pete’s unimpressed by his choice....

Episode 199.97: Freezy Slicers

17 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s back baby! And he’s already had an undignified ride on the back of Luke’s Lime bike, an image the people of North London are unlikely to ...

Episode 199.96: A chat with Uncle Jez

13 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Jack’s stepped into Pete’s shoes once more, and has joined Luke for one final guest episode of the Luke and Pete show.On today’s show, we’re t...

Episode 199.95: For sale, emoji trainers, never worn

10 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

With Pete still in Japan, we’re kicking off Monday with special guest Jack Dean, also known as the driving force behind ‘JaackMaate’s Happy Hour...

Episode 199.94: Tossed salads and folded eggs

06 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

There's a huge scrambled eggs debate to be had in the studio today as Set Meals Sam has been criticised for his folding technique. How do *you* make s...

Episode 199.93: Into The Valleys

03 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It's Monday and it's time for a very special episode of The Luke and Pete Show! The Pete part of the equation is off gallivanting around Japan (don't ...

Episode 199.92: The world's best toilet

30 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Pete has found what he believes to be the best toilet that's ever been created, a toilet so good that it can safely and easily dispatch several hundre...

Episode 199.91: One Litre Peter

27 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Why has Pete brought a meat thermometer into the office? That's point number one on today's Luke and Pete Show agenda, swiftly followed by getting to ...

Episode 199.90: The Donny Ringer

23 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

If you were given one punch that was as powerful as Anthony Joshua's, how and when would you use it? That's just one of the questions Luke and Pete at...

Episode 199.89: Gateshead Garden Festival

20 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Hello and a very warm welcome to today's episode of The Luke and Pete Show, thanks for joining us! This episode we learn of someone with a fart machin...

Episode 199.88: Marine Kong Karate

16 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever knowingly downloaded a podcast that is 30% Hairy Bikers content, 30% emails about animals killed in Canadian suburbs and 40% about The B...

Episode 199.87: Excellent trunks

13 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

There are some troubling developments reaching LAPS towers. Firstly, there have been some satanic killings in the New Forest, but secondly and arguabl...

Episode 199.86: Get a walnut in your bicep

09 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Remember Mr Frosty? No-one owned one. You only ever saw them on adverts. Did they even sell them? Pete wants to know if they had a strong blade inside...

Episode 199.85: Digging up skulls

06 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It's the second episode of 2020, and Pete is pretty happy at the moment. He rates his happiness at an 8.0/10.0 but wants to keep an eye on it. Very se...

Episode 199.84: This Tarantula Needs Watching

02 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Happy New Year! It's 2020, can you believe, so Luke and Pete take a good squizz through what is likely to happen in this, the highest year on record. ...

Episode 199.83: Bone the Meshes

30 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It's that weird period between Christmas and New Year where nothing actually happens, so given that you quite literally have nothing else to do, why n...

Episode 199.82: Dad's gaming chair

26 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

The title of this episode tells you everything you need to know about what Pete bought Stewart for Christmas, and we think he's going to be bloody hap...

Episode 199.81: Tea experts in Lebanon

23 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It's officially Christmas week which means that Luke and Pete are changing, well nothing at all really. It's more of the same old LAPS from the PALS, ...

Episode 199.80: Sausage meat and trifle

19 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's been binge watching TV shows for a comfort blanket after he's had to rein back his Chinese takeaway addiction. You cannot go on spending £50 a...

Episode 199.79: Radio presenter for hire

16 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to an all-new episode of The Luke and Pete Show! As we're now firmly in the middle of the festive period, we talk Christmas parties, Christmas...

Episode 199.78: Macho Man KING Randy Savage

12 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It's annoying when people get things wrong, isn't it? Song lyrics, names, quotes from movies etc. Luke and Pete spend a bit of time bemoaning tha...

Episode 199.77: Pete's first impressions

09 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Pete's been working with Niko Rosberg, a man with lovely soft hands, apparently. That, as is the custom for Luke and Pete, descends into a conversatio...

Episode 199.76: A Sense of Community

05 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In the last of our much-vaunted, hugely well received Hands Across The Atlantic trilogy, Luke takes Pete through yet more Vermont news, including a st...

Episode 199.75: Black Eye Friday

02 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Luke's still in Vermont, but don't let that put you off. Today's episode comes in the form of an impromptu movie special, including thoughts on such t...

Episode 199.74: Parappa the Rapper

28 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Greetings not just from London but also from The Green Mountain State! That's right, although Pete (for once) is stuck in London, Luke is coming ...

Episode 199.73: Do you feel the power of the gladiators?

25 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

What's Pete's spirit animal? Another episode to brighten your Monday. Start the week with Rod Stewart's train set (sorry... model railway), Rick Stein...

Episode 199.72: It’s a Megalodon

21 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Luke & Pete are back and answering life's big questions as always. Questions such as: Where can you buy the best mince pie? What happened to 90s c...

Episode 199.71: Prince Andrew, Helsinki & Scientology

18 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

On this chilly November Monday, Luke & Pete are talking about their favourite interviews - Tom Cruise has been accused of trying to nick a packet ...

Episode 199.70: Zimbabwe, Michigan, Milwaukee, wherever...

14 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Luke and Pete are back in the studio together for the first time in a week or so, and after their sojourn to the US and Canada. What have they learnt?...

Episode 199.69: Brooklyn NYC

11 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Luke & Pete bring you another stateside episode, this time from Brooklyn baby!Come along whilst we wander the streets, talking all things USA: pun...

Episode 199.68: 7th Avenue NYC

07 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

It's a special show today recorded on the bustling streets of New York City! Luke & Pete are jaywalking their way down 7th Avenue, talking pizza, ...

Episode 199.67: Saturday night's alright

04 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Just what are the best all time 90s Saturday night TV shows? Luke loves Big Break, Pete is a Gladiators fan, but there's loads more. Also: ever hear t...

Episode 199.66: Wet mouth

31 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Which celebrities have the wettest mouths? Tune in to today's Luke and Pete Show to find out. It's a bizarre subject to discuss but Pete is really pas...

Episode 199.65: Vintage gauge tools

28 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We start today's show by discussing the best ever tweets, before turning our attention to the late, great David Bowie's opinion on the nascent interne...

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