The Megyn Kelly Show
Meghan Markle, Ryan Reynolds, Oprah and Others Compete with Fellow Offenders at The Nerve Awards!
23 Dec 2025
Chapter 1: What are the Nerve Awards and who are the nominees?
Hello and welcome to the 2025 inaugural Nerve Awards. I am your host, Maureen Callahan. I'm here with my co-host, Teddy Van Halen. And now is the long-awaited time to give proper recognition to all those recidivists who really have it coming. In fact, we've actually furloughed some of our top repeat offenders to join us here on set, even if just...
in effigy we've got bill maher who really really made it clear how much he hates red lingerie we've got violet affleck from her masked up appearance at the un and we've got greta thunberg with her bangs marlena got greta's bangs we've also got uh megan markle's psycho vision board which allegedly existed long before she ever met harry and we have our stedman graham
crime board it's our homeland board of his last known whereabouts and our prime suspects in his disappearance and we have an update here because this has gone from a search and rescue mission to a search and recovery mission we all know what that means and we're going to uh we're going to have a we're going to go live
with what we understand is a secret mission that may or may not involve the United States military to recover Stedman's remains. Now, of course, it would not be the Nerve Awards without other categories that no other award show would ever dream of conceiving, let alone doling out. So are you ready? Teddy, are you ready? Are you ready? Let's go.
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Go to wildalaskan.com slash nerve for $35 off your first box of premium wild caught seafood. That's wildalaskan.com slash nerve for $35 off your first order. And thanks to Wild Alaskan Company for sponsoring this episode. We begin tonight's awards ceremony with the category called arsonist, career or otherwise.
Our nominees are John Hamm for setting fire to a frat pledge back when he was in college and getting away with it. Ryan Reynolds for burning down his elementary school in Canada and getting away with it. Meghan Markle for torching what was left of her reputation this year, and Jeremy Irons for this contribution to the culture.
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Chapter 2: What unique categories are featured in the Nerve Awards?
OK, you won something. And you know what, Tracy? The Nerve has two special episodes upcoming inspired by you. And you know what? It's a travel show and it's a travel show done right. And.
we took a little we took a few cues from you you know my travel buddy and i we uh we brought some dry brushes to a wholly inappropriate place so we hope you'll enjoy and watch and give us your feedback teddy just flung his hat off he's already over it he's already over the
joining us now to present the award for best worst actress in a hate watch the one and only tim the celebrity makeup artist it's tim mckay welcome tim hi maureen hello
look beautiful well thank you tim thank you i need a powder i'm a little shiny sorry the excitement has already you know taken its toll you look amazing oh you you are the you are the best now tim tim's the real deal by the way he's not you know one of these like you know
people are always just like oh you're so great you're so great you're so great he will he will always correct you if you need it okay now best worst actress in a hate watch this was a very very uh tough category tim now you and i went through these hate watches together and we talked to the troublemaker community about them would you like to why don't i um why don't you read the nominees
And then I'll share the winner with you and we can react together because we don't know who it is.
Okay.
Very exciting.
Well, the nominees for Best Worst Actress are Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Aniston, and Claire Danes.
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Chapter 3: Who won the award for Arsonist of the Year?
RFK Jr. and Olivia Newsy as enthusiasts of, if not actual practitioners of, felching. According to AI slash Urban Dictionary, felching is a sexual practice. If you have children around, get them out of the room immediately. Involving the oral suction or licking of semen from a partner's anus. Ask Bill Maher all about it. Often after anal intercourse. I'm not saying, Bill, I'm not. Calm down.
And felching carries significant risks for transmitting sexually transmitted diseases. What else? Who wrote this? Now, it can be an act of intimacy or a fetish for some. Either way, it is considered an unsafe sex practice. And our final word introduced to the lexicon this year is... Learns.
And that came to us via one Meghan Markle in interminable interview after interminable interview in which she talked about what a brilliant entrepreneur slash female founder she is. Learns, by the way, is not even a word. And we are building a mini word shed wing as we speak. The winner for befouling the lexicon is I mean, this is such a tough category. It's got to be.
Well, I'm going to give it to the cocaine clause. I think it's inventive.
Chapter 4: What controversies surround the Homicidal Celebrity Maniac nominees?
I think it is revolutionary. And I love the alliteration. OK, next up. The Kennedy Widows Award. And again, the competition is fierce. These are women who have had some dealings with the Kennedy family, whether affairs or marriages, what have you. And the competition is who was the closest to the most famous male Kennedy going? Our first nominee from the JFK Jr.
three-part, quote-unquote, documentary series, former real housewife of New York City, Carol Radziwill.
John was, like, resigning to the fact that Anthony was likely not going to make it back to the city at the end of the summer.
Yeah.
and then john broke his foot that was just a disaster for nearly breaking into tears over john jr breaking his foot in yet another wholly preventable accident he caused while some guy she married was dying of cancer that is the work of one carol radziwill next up olivia newsy as discussed uh
who has been peddling her memoir that nobody wants to buy, sold like a thousand copies in its first week out. That is bad, okay? That is a bomb, bomb, bomb. She has been cosplaying as Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, and once you see it, you cannot unsee it.
And our third nominee, Cheryl Hines, who has been asked very dainty questions about her husband's sordid behavior, allegedly, and this is her response.
When you see rumors or speculation about your marriage, how do you keep your cool and decide what's worth responding to versus what's just noise? I think you always have to consider the source.
And the winner in this very difficult category for ultimate Kennedy widow of the year. Not that Cheryl's like a technical widow, nor is Olivia, but you know what I'm saying? It's metaphorical. Our winner is...
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