The Mel Robbins Podcast
How to Make Next Year the Best Year: Ask Yourself These 7 Questions
Thu, 26 Dec 2024
Do you want to make 2025 your best year yet?There are 7 questions to ask yourself that will help you:Step into 2025 with clarity about what you want & with a plan to make it happenBecome inspired, energized, and in control againLearn & apply Mel's powerful, life-changing, science-backed, year-end ritual that she has done for over 20 yearsIn this episode, Mel will walk you through the 7 powerful questions, reveal her own answers, and guide you through how to answer them.Your answers will show you what the very next steps are in your life, and help you confidently map out what you should focus on in the next 12 months.This is the method Mel uses to set and achieve goals, and today, you’re getting the roadmap to the success, fulfillment, and happiness that you desire.And if you’ve been a long-term listener of Mel and the podcast, you’ll recognize and love this method, as Mel invites you to reflect on and revisit how the past year went.Fun, engaging, and deeply impactful, this episode will help you step into 2025 with purpose and momentum.For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page.If you liked this episode, your next listen should be this one: The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins PodcastConnect with Mel: Get Mel’s new book, The Let Them TheoryWatch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes Disclaimer
Chapter 1: What is the purpose of the yearly audit?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited you're here with me because once a year I go through the process of auditing the last 12 months. It is the most powerful thing ever. And today you and I are going to do this together. Now, this is a process my husband and I have done every year for the past 20 years.
Chapter 2: What are the seven questions to ask yourself?
We now do it with our kids now that they're young adults. You're going to freaking love this because here's the truth. There are seven questions that you need to answer that are going to unlock all of the wisdom and lessons and amazing things that have happened to you in the last 12 months, all of which you've probably forgotten.
Chapter 3: Why is reflecting on the past year important?
And you need to do an audit because the single biggest mistake that everybody makes at this moment when they go and think about next year is they jump right into things. thinking about what they want. And you miss the biggest opportunity in the world, which is to actually figure out where you are. What are the lessons you've learned? What is it that you truly want?
And I'm going to tell you something. These seven questions, they're going to unlock it. They're going to teach you all the lessons and all the wisdom and all the things that you need to know to create the plan to make next year one of the best years of your life. So you're ready to audit the last 12 months with me? Of course you are. Let's do this.
Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. I am thrilled that you picked this particular episode to listen to because you and I are about to do a process that I call the yearly audit. It is something that my husband and I have done for 20 years. We now do it with our kids. It is a game changer. And I first talked about this a year ago on the podcast.
More than a million of you did an annual audit. You loved it. You loved how empowered you feel. We are going to do it again. And if you're brand new and this is the first episode that you've ever listened to the Mel Robin podcast, let me tell you something. You have picked a winner. I want to welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
I love that you're here for this because you know what this tells me? It tells me you're the kind of person that not only values your time, but you want to make next year one of the best years of your life. And what we're going to do today is I'm going to walk you through seven questions that will help you audit the last 12 months of your life.
Because one of the things that I've noticed over the years is that everybody makes the same mistake, whether they're making New Year's resolutions or they're setting goals for the next year or they're doing business planning.
We're so obsessed with like looking ahead and manifesting and setting goals and wiping the slate clean that we jump over one of the most powerful and important and critical parts of of planning. And what is that thing that is critical? It's understanding where you are right now. See, if you just simply look ahead, you're going to be like, oh, I want to do this and I want to do that.
I want to do the other thing. but you're missing all the wisdom from the last 12 months. In fact, I guarantee you, because I'm going to prove it to you when I ask you these seven questions, you don't even remember 95% of the things that happened in the last 12 months. Me either.
This process is going to help you review what happened and all the experiences, the highs, the lows, the lessons, the wins, the losses, and we're going to pull it all together and you're going to go, oh my gosh, wow. And from that place, you're going to be able to create a set of directions for how you make your next year the single best year of your life.
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Chapter 4: How do you identify highlights from the past year?
And you're gonna be able to answer this very quickly because you're gonna have just scrolled through all of your photos and through your calendar. And that second question is, what were some of the hardest parts this year? Now, last year, the hardest parts for me is that I was in full-blown menopause. I felt like I was a Twinkie on two legs in terms of my waist was gone. My pants didn't fit.
I had like a fanny pack around my front, only it wasn't a fanny pack. It was actually my stomach filling out my pants. And I just felt completely disempowered. The other low point, other than my health, and this is also part of my health, I spent way too much time working. Like there were just, when I looked at the low points of 2023, oh my God, like I didn't see my friends at all.
Every single photo was work. I didn't spend a lot of time with my parents, with my family. There weren't a lot of celebrations and it was depressing. And when you ask yourself, what were the hardest parts of your year? It's okay that it makes you sad. it's okay to feel the feelings. For me, one of the things that made me really sad is becoming an empty nester. I don't even like that term.
I prefer the term bird launcher because the fact is once they fly away, they tend to fly back and they need more money and they have problems they need help with. And I love that. It's a sign that they need you and that they trust you. But it is kind of sad. It's sad to not have the energy in the house. It's sad to not have all the kids coming over after school and to have to be kind of quiet.
Another really hard part, my dad had to have surgery. It's very unexpected. And it's also been hard to see that in the wake of the surgery, which was just a back surgery, it went well. I know you're going to ask, so I'm just going to tell you it went really well, but the recovery, it's kind of a long road. And he's Can't do a lot of the things that brings him joy. So he's grumpy.
My mom's kind of grumpy about it. You know, it's not the easiest thing to see your parents getting a little bit older. And so that was a really hard part. Another hard part, not going to lie to you, right in the let them theory. It is hard. a very difficult thing to take on a project that size. And it chewed up most of my weekends, a lot of late nights. It was a lot of hard work.
And so as much as it was a high, it was also kind of a low in terms of just the hard part. And I'm pointing that out because there are things in your life that are going to make you really proud and are going to be really big accomplishments. And they're also very hard. And that's okay. And kind of understanding that just because something is successful doesn't mean it wasn't a low point.
Just because something was amazing in the end doesn't mean it wasn't a project that sucked you dry. And so it made both lists for me. The other thing that was very difficult for me is our daughter Sawyer went through the most painful and devastating breakup of her life. And she was profoundly depressed. and heartbroken.
And it is extremely difficult to watch somebody that you love process something like that because you can't fix it for them. Like the hardest thing about grief and heartbreak is You got to go through it. It was also very hard to watch our son, Oak, apply to a bunch of colleges and just get no, no, no from the three top schools he was interested in. And again, you can't fix it.
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Chapter 5: What were some of the hardest parts of this year?
I'm stopping myself from trying to solve my kids' problems and giving them advice and teaching myself to just listen. And that's helping a lot. And I'm sure I'll come to more. And like, that's the thing. I'm doing this live with you, so it doesn't sound very professional the way I'm talking right now. And I'm sort of like your friend.
It'd be like you and I sitting at lunch together and we're like, well, I don't know. What am I going to stop doing? And that's the other reason to come back to this and listen and to write things down because you can add things to the list. You can truly... You know, like come back to this because once you kind of start chipping away at this, more and more and more opens up.
I'm going to stop making work my number one priority. Like it's been taking over my life. And part of that's because the book is launching right now. But I really do not want to take on more projects next year. Like there it is. That's it. See, I just discovered it by talking to you. I need to stop adding things. And that means focus on the things that are actually working, which is this podcast.
And I'm going to start subtracting. That's what I'm going to do. Ooh, that's a good one. I like that one. I better write that in a Sharpie and put it on my forehead for crying out loud. And if my family hears this, they're going to be like, Mel, what did you say you're going to do? You're going to stop doing things. And that brings me to question number five. What are you going to start doing?
So this is something new. What are you going to start doing? Well, I'm almost embarrassed to tell you last year's answers. Top of the list, people. You ready? I'm going to strength train three days a week. That didn't happen. And here's the thing about it. you know, I didn't do it. I don't need to trash myself about it.
How amazing is it if you could bring compassion to the things that didn't happen and instead lean in with curiosity? Because if I say, well, why didn't that happen, Mel? I'll tell you why. It actually happened if I was in Boston for a week taping the podcast because I was in a very steady routine. And it would happen if I happened to be in Vermont for a stretch.
It didn't happen when things got crazy. And that tells me more data, which is my life doesn't work when I shop when I'm hungry. My life doesn't work when I say yes to too many things. My life doesn't work and the things that I need don't fall in place if I get too ambitious around what I think I can get done. That it's in slowing down and getting into more of a rhythm that I actually feel better.
And that's personal for me, which means I got to bring that to my goals. And do you want to know what's fascinating? If I hadn't done this audit, my plan for next year would be more. I got to do more. I got to take on more. I got to do this. I got to do that. I got to do the other thing. My audit is telling me, actually, Mel, no, you got to do less.
You got to focus on the things that actually matter. You got to get rid of a lot of stuff that's not working. And then you got to just really lean into those things and be a real, just maniacal, unwavering B-I-T-C-H, if you know what I mean, about anything else that comes up. And particularly with myself, because I'm the one that shops when I'm hungry.
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