The Manipulation Expert: 4 Hidden Signs You’re Dealing With a Toxic Person

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Previously titled “The Manipulation Expert: How to Spot Hidden Manipulators & Take Your Power Back” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 3, 2026

The Mel Robbins Podcast 1h 3m 2 speakers 3 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is a 'poisonous person' and why does this episode matter?

Mel Robbins 0:00
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Have you noticed that nowadays people just throw words around like, oh, this person's toxic, that person's a narcissist, this person's a psychopath, as if it's nothing. But these words do mean something very specific. And our expert today is going to take you and me into the world of dark personalities. Because what she calls poisonous people aren't just the subjects of true crime investigation or sitting in jails. They're in boardrooms. They're in public office. You might encounter them in your living room or at work. Dr. Leanne Tenbrink is here in our Boston studios. She runs the Truth and Trust Lab at the University of British Columbia, where she is a professor of forensic psychology.
Mel Robbins 0:57
She's spent two decades studying manipulators, chronic liars, and dark personalities. Because there will always be people who don't want peace. They want control, chaos. They want you confused. And you know what? They don't care when you're upset. This episode is not about labeling people as toxic. It's about something very specific and important. How to spot dark personality traits in other people. And when you do see these toxic traits... Exactly what you should do. And more importantly, what you should not do when you encounter someone like this. And if in listening to this, you recognize that you or someone you love is in a relationship with someone with a dark personality, she has specific recommendations for how to extract yourself or how to support someone you love who needs to.
Mel Robbins 1:53
What you're going to learn today will help you protect yourself because as you know, you can't change and control other people, but you can recognize who you're dealing with and become strategic in how you approach them. And that is the first step to reducing the stress and pain they can cause in your life.
Mel Robbins 2:21
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am thrilled that you're here. I'm so excited about this topic. It's such an honor to be together and to spend this time with you. And if you're new here or somebody sent this episode with you, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Dr. Leanne Brink is here to teach you and me how to spot a truly toxic person and what to look for and what to do. Dr. Ten Brink is a bestselling author who earned her PhD in psychology from the University of British Columbia, where she is also a professor and the director of the Truth and Trust Lab. She studies the patterns behind manipulation, gaslighting, chronic lying, and why a small number of people
Mel Robbins 3:02
can cause so much damage in relationships, workplaces, and in positions of power. So what can forensic psychology teach us about the dark personalities that you encounter in your day-to-day life? That is exactly what she's here to teach you today. Please help me welcome Dr. Leanne Tenbrink to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. I am so excited that you flew in all the way from British Columbia because I am fascinated by your field of expertise and your research, and our team devoured your bestselling book, Poisonous People. And what I'd love to have you do is if the person listening applies everything that you're about to teach us from your studies of deception and dark personalities, and they apply it starting today, what will change?
Dr. Leanne Tenbrink 3:58
I think they learn how to reduce one of the biggest stressors in all of our lives. Because dark personalities, and I'm not talking about like the super extreme clinical levels here necessarily, people who are just like consistently callous and manipulative in our lives. And so you can probably, you know, everyone has someone in their lives that kind of might be popping into their head right now, right? The manipulative sister-in-law, the boss at work who just needs all the attention and takes all the credit for your work, the callous mother-in-law. I get a lot of callous mother-in-laws in the comments. And these are people who cause us incredible amounts of stress.

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