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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. And if you're out there and you're trying to perfect your morning routine, I just created a simple workbook for you to download that shows you the step-by-step process to create an amazing morning routine based in science.
If you wanna download it for free, you can go to theperfectmorningroutine.com and get it now.
Today, we're gonna be talking about why you feel so stuck in your life and how to basically get everything that you want in your life and to understand that getting everything that you want in life is not about doing or achieving more.
And so what I'm gonna basically talk about today is hopefully waking you up a little bit to your programmings, some of your conditionings, and also to currently what you already have around you. And so one of the reasons why you feel so stuck in life is because I'm gonna go out and say that everything that you want is already here in front of you.
And you might be like, no, no, no, but I don't have that successful business. I don't have that million dollars yet. I don't have this thing and that thing and this thing and that thing. I think that for most of us, what we already want is already right in front of us. We're just missing it. And most people never wake up to the amazing life that they already have that's all around them. And so...
Let's not sugarcoat this. Most people are not living in their life. They're just surviving. They're performing for other people. They're coping. They're numbing. They're distracting themselves. They're drifting through days with just enough stimulation to keep the existential dread at bay.
But if you stripped away all of the noise, all of the scrolling on Instagram and watching too much Netflix and being over distracted and everything, take away the jobs, take away the shows, the endless scrolling, most people would feel it. It's that quiet thought in the back of your head that's like, is this it? Is this really all that there is in life? And the real tragedy of all of this
that most people are surrounded by the thing that they already want the thing that they're starving for they just don't really know how to open themselves up to receiving it and so i'll give you a quick little story that'll make sense okay there's a plane that's that that crashes into the water it hits the water everybody who is on the the plane just blacks out and they wake up and they're alive
They think, oh my God, am I dead? Am I in heaven? What's going on? They wake up, they're alive, and they're on a raft. And no one really remembers how they got there. But they're just drifting in the ocean.
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Chapter 2: Why do people feel stuck in their lives?
And they're drifting in the ocean for days and days and days. And after a few days... They're parched. They're dying of thirst. They're hungry. They're dying of thirst because they're in the ocean. You can't drink salt water. And so eventually a rescue helicopter comes by, picks them all up, and they're all rescued. And the rescuers are just like, do you have water? I'm just so thirsty.
Like, yeah, here's some water. They give them water. And eventually the rescuers and the helicopters say, why didn't you just drink the water? And they're like, well, because we were in salt water. You can't drink salt water. They're like, no, you weren't in salt water. You were just in a really big lake.
They were in this massive lake and they couldn't see land and they don't know how they got there except for the plane crash. So they just assumed, hey, we must be in the ocean. They could have reached over for days and just cupped their hands and drank the water. But they didn't because they didn't know what they were floating in. They already had what they needed. They just didn't know it.
Now, it's not a true story. It's a metaphor for how most people live their lives. This is how most people go through their entire life. They're dying of thirst in the middle of an ocean of joy and peace and happiness and love and everything they've ever wanted. but they don't know that it's there. And so what we need is a wake up call to really realize what is around us.
And it's not really your fault that you don't realize what's around you. The ugly truth that we don't really wanna talk about is that we've all pretty much been conditioned in the society that we live in unconsciously.
It's not like some evil overlord is looking over us and making us do this, but we've basically been conditioned from society and from our parents and then our grandparents and just generations to believe That the good stuff, everything that we want is somewhere else outside of us that we have to go achieve. That love that you want, that's after you get everybody's approval.
The peace that you want deep inside, well, that's after all of the achievement that you need. The joy that you want to feel, well, you got to earn that one. Happiness, you can only be happy after you're done building. Relaxation, only after I make that first million dollars, then I can relax. In the society that we live in, we're trained to defer our aliveness.
And we're taught that love and joy and fun and peace and happiness is somewhere else down the road. It's not here and now. And, you know, from the first time somebody said, hey, you know, good boy or good girl, or you're such a good boy or such a good girl, our nervous system kind of started to pick up on the rules. Okay, I need to be a good boy. I need to be a good girl. I need to be useful.
I need to be liked. I need to be loved. I need to be good. I need to work hard. I need to achieve. I need to earn my worth in some sort of way. And then maybe, maybe one day you can feel safe enough to relax and then live the life you've been wanting to live.
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Chapter 3: What is the metaphor of the plane crash about?
Most people would rather be right than be free. What do I mean by that? We'd rather fight for our insecurities, our identities, our fears, our limiting beliefs. We'd rather fight for those things to keep that ego attached to who we are and that identity and we can say, this is who I am, we'd rather be right and try to prove that that thing is right than actually be free from it.
Because defending the ego means that you get to stay the same. Getting free from our trance means that we have to put in work. And that work requires us to change. And most people would rather be miserable and comfortable than free and uncertain about the future. but you can't wake up and get out of the trance and start to live a different life and stay comfortable at the same time.
That's not how it works. And so, Here's the wild thing about it. Most of what you believe about yourself and the world and other people isn't even yours, and you can test it. If somebody challenges your worldview and you start to get mad or react emotionally in some sort of way, that's most likely a borrowed belief from someone else.
If an idea about love or money or success or God makes you clench inside and kind of tense up, that's most likely not your voice. That's someone else's ideas that you just picked up along the way. And we have all done this in many ways. And so it's really hard to get and to fully understand, but it's really important to understand this.
This is how deep the, you know, we'll call it kind of what it is and not in a bad way, but this is how deep the brainwashing goes. We internalize the beliefs of our parents in school, in religion, in media, in culture, And then we want to fight for those things because we believe them so much because we've been told to believe them, even if those are the very things that really keep you stuck.
But that's not loyalty, that's hypnosis. And so we have to have the courage to change our mind. The only reason why we feel stuck is because it's that mental treadmill that we're stuck in. So if we want to have something that gets us unstuck, we need to have the courage to change our mind in some way, to see things differently than we've seen them before.
And most people, let's just be real, most people in this world don't want to change their mind. They're looking more than anything else for data to prove their points right, more than they're looking to prove themselves wrong. But that's not you, right? That's not why you're here. You're here because you're ready to wake up. You're ready to break free.
You're ready to feel differently and create a better life. And so I don't want you to... The important thing is I don't want you to shame yourself for the things that you did while you were asleep. Like for me, I feel like I could look back and be like, I lost years of my life when I was asleep. But it's like, no. I was asleep.
So I can't shame myself for not realizing when I was working 110 hours a week for three, four years straight from sunup to sundown, just putting all of my life into a business that I ran into the ground. I can't look at that and be like, oh my God, I need to shame myself and guilt myself for that thing. I need to just go, no, he was asleep. He thought that that would give him the life that I want.
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Chapter 4: How does societal conditioning affect our perception of happiness?
I know this is a little bit different than some of the stuff that I talk about. It's not about going and achieving more and being more and all that stuff. It's about realizing what's already in front of you. I want you to take like a pen and paper and I want you to write down the beliefs that you hold most dearly, that you feel are true deep down inside of you. Write it down.
What's the thing that you feel is the most true? And then ask yourself the question, where did I first hear this? Would I still believe this if I had never been taught it? You might. You might not. I don't know. But you might be shocked that you might have been living in someone else's mental operating system, that they gave it to you and you didn't realize it.
You might notice that a lot of what I talk about is different than other personal development stuff. I've read...
hundreds of books and listened to hundreds and hundreds of hours of podcasts and conferences and done all of those things and most self-development is about adding more adding more adding more learning more learning more achieving more get this next piece of knowledge so you can get even further along in life believe me i played that game for 20 years i did i tried it it didn't get me anything that i wanted
And what I've realized is that everything I want is already here and it always has been. So it's like, damn, I was kind of like asleep for 20 years. Like one of the new tattoos that I got is right here on my wrist and it says, be here now. Because it's like, I find myself chasing things all of the time. And then I look down at my arm and I'm like, oh. That's right. It's already here. It's in me.
It's already here. I just need to see that's around me. And so you don't need to be better. You don't need to do anything differently except for wake up. And so my invitation for you is to wake up to the joy that you've been postponing, to wake up to the love that you're trying to go and find in someone else. To wake up to the richness and the aliveness that doesn't need permission to be felt.
It's already there in front of you. Because you're already floating in fresh water, my friend. It's right there in front of you. The thirst that you feel is not absent. It's right in front of you. You have the cup. You have the water. Take a drink. You just haven't allowed yourself to drink. And so take the cup. Take the risk. Don't look back. It's all right in front of you.
And so how do you get yourself unstuck? It's realizing you were never stuck in the first place. So that's what I got for you for today's episode.
If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at RobDialJr, R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. Once again, if you wanna download my free workbook on how to create the perfect morning routine based by science, you can go to theperfectmorningroutine.com. And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode.
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