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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn and grow and improve yourself because if you can improve yourself, you can improve your life. So if that's what you wanna do, hit that subscribe button and join us.
Today, I'm going to be talking about the psychology of addictive discipline.
Chapter 2: Why is discipline so hard for some people?
Because let me ask you a question. Why is it that discipline feels so hard to do? And then you meet somebody and they're not even trying to do it anymore. Like they don't have to wake up and fight themselves. Like they don't negotiate with themselves. They don't rely on motivation. They just do it. Like they just do it.
And not only do they do it, they actually enjoy taking difficult action and pushing themselves. And if you've ever noticed, you've probably thought like, they're just built different or they just have more willpower or they're more motivated than me. That's not what's happening here.
what's happening is that they've crossed a psychological threshold that most people never reach when it comes to discipline and today we're going to break down exactly how to do that and i'm going to teach you step by step how to build addictive discipline within yourself okay so when you look at discipline there's two phases of discipline
The mistake that most people think, they think it's just one thing. It's not. Discipline has two completely different neurological phases. And let me describe them to you, okay? So phase one is forced discipline, which is like the resistance phase where you're going to resist yourself. And this is where most people live and then they end up dying. This is where like waking up
and not wanting to do it, forcing yourself to go to the gym when you really don't want to go to the gym, procrastinating when you should be joining and growing your business, negotiating with yourself. And neurologically, here's what's actually happening. Your brain actually sees discipline as a threat. Why is that? Because your brain is wired for three things. Number one is efficiency.
Number two is energy conservation. And number three is familiarity. And discipline is the opposite of all three of those things. So there's actually research out of University College of London that shows that the brain's default mode is to avoid effort unless there is an immediate reward. That's it.
If there's not an immediate reward, then your brain increases what's called perceived effort to push you away from that behavior. So your brain actually makes it seem like the perceived effort is far greater than it actually is unless there's an immediate reward. And so when you say like, why is this so hard for me? It's your brain literally saying, hey, John, this is not worth your energy.
And this is where most people quit. This is the part you have to fight through, though. You have to fight through the resistance phase in order to get to phase two. And phase two is where addictive discipline comes in, and it's where your identity starts to shift, right? This is where it really starts to get interesting when you look at it.
If you stay long enough, if you keep going and you keep going and you keep going no matter what, something clicks in your brain and now you feel weird when you don't do the thing. You actually start to crave the routine that you used to have to force yourself to do and you actually feel pulled towards it instead of having to push yourself towards it. Now, discipline isn't effort.
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Chapter 3: What are the two phases of discipline?
My whole family is overweight. I'm going to be overweight as well. Or you could start building a business and your brain still thinks like, I'm not the type of person who follows through. I'll never be successful. I'm not good enough to do this. Who would want to buy from me? I'm probably going to fail. Whatever it might say, right? I want you to understand this.
This is extremely important to understand. This part is completely normal because your identity has not caught up with your new behaviors. You should expect friction. physically and mentally. Because every action that you take feels like you're fighting yourself. Because you are. You are fighting the old version of yourself.
And every time you repeat a behavior, you're strengthening the neural pathways for that identity. And so, the catch of all of this is that it takes a lot of A lot, a lot of repetition before your brain starts to accept your new behaviors as part of who you are. And so in phase one, you're not just building discipline, you are building discipline, but you're also building evidence.
And that's what's really important. You're building evidence that you are becoming a new person. You're building evidence that you are not who you were before. You're building evidence that you are changing and you are evolving. And that's what your brain needs to see is new behaviors for a long enough time in order for your identity, which is just who you think you are, to catch up. And then...
it becomes part of who you are. Now, let me be real with you for a second. Most people don't get there. Most people give up before. Most people fail because they want to stay where they are. And they stay where they are because they think in their minds, this is who I am.
And so they fail because they quit during that identity lag, that lag where your identity still hasn't caught up to your new behaviors. And so they say things like, well, this just isn't me, or this is really hard, or I just can't stay consistent, or I don't have the discipline, or this isn't going to work for me. And we will be right back. And now back to the show.
But what they're really unconsciously saying is my identity hasn't caught up yet. And I don't really like how this feels because I feel like I'm in battle with myself. It's like this constant friction, right? And the truth of it is that discomfort that you feel, that's not a stop sign. Most people feel that discomfort. They feel that friction. They think, oh my God, this doesn't feel good.
I need to stop this. No, no, no. That's the exact signal that you need to know that you're in transition. It's extremely important to understand this. The discomfort that you feel when you're doing something new, especially for an extended period of time, that discomfort means you're doing it right. Like you have to keep going.
You have to keep this the front of your mind and tell yourself this over and over and over again. The discomfort means I'm doing it right. If you're uncomfortable, you're changing. If you're comfortable, you're staying the same. And, you know, research and neuroplasticity shows that the brain experiences the most resistance right before forming a new stable pattern.
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Chapter 4: How does forced discipline affect our brain?
Do you get that? It feels the most resistance right before forming that new statement. It's like the last... breath of air, the last fight that it's gonna put in. And so what that means is that the hardest part of doing this is right before it gets easier. And that's where most people quit. Let me really say this again.
The moment that you want to quit is usually the moment right before your brain starts adapting. The hardest part is usually right before the breakthrough. So you've gotta just keep this front of your mind and start putting a little bit more effort in to do the things you don't wanna do. And then you start to look at it, and neurologically, it's where it gets really interesting.
Here's where you really start to see what changes happen inside of your brain. Because discipline doesn't just become easier. Discipline to your brain starts becoming rewarding. Most people think like when you look at dopamine, Lots of people are talking about dopamine nowadays. Most people think dopamine comes from like getting the results that they want or achievements or outcomes.
And it does sometimes, but also research from Stanford on dopamine circuits shows that dopamine is also released from progress and prediction, not just like achieving the end goal and like getting the six pack, right? So when you start showing up consistently over and over again, your brain starts to predict, hey, this is who we are. And now the act itself becomes rewarding.
Oh my gosh, can you imagine that? The act of what we want to do that is so hard for us to do right now and so hard to do in phase one, the act actually starts to become rewarding. And this is where you feel good thinking about going to go do a workout. Have you ever been there before?
Like for people who have been on the workout journey for a long time, you know there's a point where it clicks and you actually start to crave the workout. Like you get excited about your workout tomorrow. Like you feel off if you skip the work or skip the workout or skip doing the hard thing or skip doing your business.
And now you've entered what we're talking about in this episode, which is addictive discipline. This is where it now feels good and addictive to do the thing that used to be hard for you to do. To do the thing that now listening to my voice probably feels hard to do. Now, let me pause for a second.
Do you see how this can completely change the course of your life if you understand this and actually put action to it? The actions that are hard for you to do now, that will completely change the course of your life if you do them. And if you keep doing them long enough, not only do they start to become a habit, they become addictive. Think about that. How amazing would that be?
Like the way I like to think about it is I know people that have been this way and I've been this way myself where, you know, for me, it was going to the gym. I had to force myself and force myself and force myself. And then it started to become something that I just did. And it felt weird not to go to the gym.
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Chapter 5: How does addictive discipline change our identity?
That's not the goal. Discipline is really, it's not the goal. It's the bridge. Like the real goal is you becoming the person who doesn't need discipline anymore. You don't need it. Because once you become that person, you don't rely on motivation or willpower or hacks or any of that type of stuff. You rely on your identity of who you are now.
And once again, your identity is just, in case you didn't know, it's who you think you are. It's not who you truly are. It's who you think you are. And so now you rely on your identity, your new identity. Because the lag got over and now your behaviors and your identity match. And now you're locked in to the action because that's just part of who you are.
And so I want you to understand if you're in that phase now, the part where like feels hard and you've got to do things you've never done before and you've got to force yourself to do stuff and you're just like questioning yourself like... Is this possible? I don't think I can do it. I'm looking at other people and I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever get there.
If you're in that phase right now, I have something to tell you.
Good. You're in phase one. That is perfect. Most people never make it past the point that you're in right now because they leave too early. They think the discomfort means that they're doing it wrong. But if you were listening earlier, the discomfort that you're feeling means that you're doing it right. Like you're doing such a good job.
If you just keep going, eventually this action that has been so hard you've had to force yourself to do becomes part of your identity and then it becomes addictive and then it feels weird not to actually do that thing. And so if you're questioning, you're like, why is this so hard for me right now? Now you understand why it's so hard.
But the better question that you should start asking yourself is like, have I stayed long enough to become the type of person who enjoys it? Because once you do become the type of person who enjoys it, you'll never have to chase discipline again. You'll never have to force yourself to do anything. You will crave doing the things that you're now trying to force yourself to do.
And if you do that long term over the next 10, 15, 20 years of your life, completely different life. So that's what I got for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at Rob Dial Jr. R-O-B-D-I-A-L-J-R. And if you want to learn more about coaching with me outside of this podcast, go to coachwithrob.com right now. Once again, coachwithrob.com.
And with that, I'm going to leave the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.
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