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The Morning Rumble

ON-AIR ๐ŸŸข - Flesh Gordon

12 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What humorous anecdotes are shared about 'maxing'?

0.031 - 2.343 Miles

This is a podcast from Rover.

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4.254 - 8.235 Mels

The Morning Rumble podcast, or as Moles calls it, Pointless.

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16.923 - 35.187 Miles

Morning, Mel. Morning, guys. Morning, yes. Ball maxing. Look maxing. All that kind of maxing and mogging people. Like, if Rog got his balls out now, he's mogged Bryce and I in the studio, Mel, because his balls are... Impressive, to say the least.

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Chapter 2: How do personal experiences shape views on body image?

35.247 - 41.902 Miles

Gigantic. So, mogging means that you've just flexed on somebody. It's a new way of saying that guy just flexed on us. Yeah, gotcha.

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41.922 - 42.083 James

Okay.

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42.143 - 49.56 Miles

So, Maxine means... When you played marbles, there were big Z's and small Z's. That's right. Roger's a big Z. That's a big marble.

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49.58 - 49.68 Bryce

Yeah.

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50.605 - 52.027 Miles

My balls.

Chapter 3: What are the risks associated with extreme body modifications?

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And so this maxing trend is all about pushing things to the limit to make them look as good as they can. As big as possible. So people are putting saline solution and lubricant, injecting it into their scrotums to make them look as big and maxed out as possible. Like a swollen look. Yeah. Now, Miles, are they self-administering this or is there like a place that you go to to get these injections?

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82.832 - 90.565 Miles

There will be both. There will be cosmetic places that will safely do it. But also people will just do it themselves.

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90.785 - 91.626 Mels

Oh, that's risky.

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Chapter 4: What unexpected injuries have people experienced?

91.807 - 92.087 James

Yeah.

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92.768 - 112.824 Miles

You can. I know that Rog is trying to get his arm down because it's uncomfortable to sit. You can't really drive that well. He can't sit on a seat. He has to sit on a couch. He's manspread. So the risks of ball maxing are skin rupture, of course. Of course. Vascular and nerve damage.

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Chapter 5: How does training for ultra marathons impact mental and physical health?

112.884 - 137.233 Miles

The pressure. It can crush the testicular arteries and nerves. It leads into losing loss of sensation. Gangrene and sepsis. Obviously, injections, if you're doing it yourself, you can get infected. Embolisms of fluid or air enter the bloodstream. You can cause life-threatening blockages. And permanent infertility is probably the worst one. Real risk versus reward stuff here.

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137.273 - 138.595 Mel

Say how long it lasts for.

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Chapter 6: What bizarre NCEA credits have students received?

138.946 - 149.899 Miles

The maxing? Yeah. Well, it depends how good you do it and the kind of fluid you use, I imagine. Of course, yeah. You could say it's sacrilegious. Outstanding, Miles.

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149.979 - 150.88 Rog

Nice one, Miles.

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Outstanding. I've got to ask, though, would you rather, if you could saline and max something up, would you rather max balls or max pace? No.

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Chapter 7: What shocking things did guests witness as children?

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Max Pace. If you've got Max Pace, you've got to have tiny balls. Like raisins. No one cares about the balls. Not really. We just care about the D. Gee, I don't know if Bryce was asking you, Mel. No, I was. I was going to get to Mel. Oh, right.

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Chapter 8: What interesting bear news is shared at the end?

180.855 - 182.397 Mel

I would go the D over the balls.

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182.417 - 205.363 Miles

Thank you, Mel. So you just absolutely like the tiny little balls. You don't care? No. I'd rather moon hoppers. And then just to change things up for myself, have a tiny bit. And that is why you ask the question every time, Moles. You know what? Do you know what? I actually only thought of that on the spot. I didn't know we'd end up there, but here we are.

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205.944 - 208.207 Mel

Thank you, Moles. Great story, Moles.

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208.467 - 225.991 Miles

Really good research. Thanks, guys. Bryce hijacked that one again. Cool story, Bryce. So that's the front. We're heading around the back now, Bryce. Yeah, I know Malsy specialises in tales from the south, and you've just done such a good job, I wanted you to be able to have a little bit of a breather, Mals. Sit back. Put my feet up for once. Put your feet up.

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And actually, it extends from a cool story, Mals, that you had the other week.

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Oh, yeah.

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Where you were talking about what some people back in the day used to take care of themselves. No, no, after they'd gone number two. Super. Personal hygiene. Personal hygiene. There was like a Roman one, I think, with like a big bud that was used. Yeah, there were. Right.

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And so on that, I don't know if my algorithm just led me down this path, but here is your AI friend telling us all of the different ways people back in the days wiped.

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In the Middle Ages, nobles didn't use toilet paper. Instead, they used a thick hemp rope. This rope was hung from the ceiling of the toilet. After doing their business, they pulled it down, slid it between their legs, back and forth, to wipe themselves clean. Worse yet, that rope was shared by everyone. Even when it got dirty, it was never replaced. At the time, toilet paper didn't exist.

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