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The Morning Rumble

ON-AIR ๐ŸŸข - Maximus Erectus

28 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What unique perspective does Mystic Mitch bring about crustaceans?

0.318 - 2.34 Unknown

This is a podcast from Rover.

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4.442 - 10.148 Mitch

Subscribe and leave a review on the potty. Every time you do, Rog has to give $1 to Labour.

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10.728 - 17.816 Unknown

So Mel had the story about the fiddler crab from Japan yesterday. And Mitch has run with this one. Mystic Mitch. Here he is.

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17.836 - 22.7 Rog

Here we go. Mystical Mitch with powers divine. Buckle up, proceeds.

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24.202 - 24.622 Unknown

He'll blow your mind.

Chapter 2: What are the highlights of the Alice In Chains anniversary celebration?

24.642 - 30.308 Unknown

Oh, no. Mystic Mitch crustaceans. Having a look at what crustaceans would be.

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Chapter 3: What insights does comedian Chris Parker share during his segment?

30.288 - 58.76 Unknown

Yeah, I mean, really, what crustaceans we've been. Some might say it's a bit niche. What we got there, I've got crustaceans for each of you. Now, just before you get to which crustaceans we've been based off the fiddler crab story. How did you become mystic much? Do you read cards? Oh, yes, true. I'm just interested as to where you see the future.

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58.78 - 59.361 Mel

How it all came about.

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Chapter 4: How do Creech's Gladiator and Rog's Elton John performances compare?

59.842 - 73.099 Unknown

Oh, well, just rubbing my crystal balls. Balls, balls. My balls. I've got a couple of crystal balls at home that I spend a lot of time with my hands on. And then it just comes to you. And you seem to get it right. Yeah, something comes to me. Okay, all right. Excellent.

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Chapter 5: What does Madeline Sami reveal about her role in Traitors?

73.119 - 79.347 Unknown

Who's starting? Rog. Oh, you're first today. Well, I'm not last. That's good. You're the fiddler crystal ball.

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80.103 - 83.107 Mitch

We're done. Someone had to be done. Don't mug around.

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Chapter 6: What is the story behind the Throne For Your Home winner?

83.127 - 86.191 Mitch

We're done. Someone had to be done. It is Rog.

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86.211 - 87.072 Unknown

Explain.

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Chapter 7: What are the key lessons learned from Creech's Friday Fizz segment?

87.092 - 95.604 Unknown

Fiddler crabs. They have one claw that is much, much larger than the other. Like Rog's forearms after years of obsessive masturbation.

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Chapter 8: How is Harambe commemorated in this episode?

97.546 - 106.859 Unknown

Straight to it. We're going. We're going. We're going straight up. We're going a bit ejacular. Straight up. Straight up this morning. Rog's wife, Lisa, also calls his hands the claws.

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109.347 - 131.631 Unknown

And Roger's the fiddly crab because his crabs often have him fiddling with himself. I mean, do we need more? We do, because you're an ex, Bryce. Okay, what crustacean? What crustacean, Bryce, would be the Macropodia rastrata. Okay, what's that? The long-legged spider crab. I'll take that. That sounds kind of cool.

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131.651 - 160.423 Unknown

These crustaceans have a disproportionately sized body compared to their long, spindly, thin legs. That's not nice. I'm really working on these. The long-legged spider crab will often appear fuzzy or hairy. This is due to the algae it applies to itself to aid in camouflage. Similar to how Bryce wears a hat to trick people into thinking, oh, maybe there's hair under there. Oh, this has gone bad.

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160.443 - 164.848 Unknown

Oh, man. Miles. Oh, you don't want to be last. Oh, maybe we do make Miles last.

165.309 - 166.59 Chris Parker

Damn it. Yes.

167.566 - 176.817 Unknown

Mel, you'd be the hermit crab. You live in a house big enough for one that you share with nobody.

177.158 - 178.219 Bryce

That's perfect.

178.319 - 208.694 Unknown

Hermit crabs, if unhappy with the size of their shells, will go out and get bigger ones. Nice. This is true. Hermit crabs have also been known to use plastic alternatives for a shell. Mel also uses plastic alternatives in lieu of a man. And they work. Oh, wow. And, yeah, Mel, we will finish with you.

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