The Moth Podcast: Football!
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Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Mark Solinger, and on this episode... Whether you watch the big game for the great plays, for the seven-layer nachos, for the funny ads, for the halftime performances, my personal favorite game was the one Beyoncé played at, football, like storytelling, brings people together. Because these three stories aren't just about football. They're about family, growing up, and the things that are revealed by the games we play. First up is Dame Wilburn, who told this story when she hosted a main stage in Traverse City, Michigan. Here's Dame, live at the Moth.
Some random snowy Saturday, when I was a freshman in college, I sat down, at the cafeteria table with my friends, the Klingons. Now, they basically were an amalgamation of dudes that you would never let into a fraternity. They were art majors and theater majors and English majors, and they were all like heavy duty sci-fi nerds and Trekkies. And when I sat down, these guys were talking about football. Now, football is my favorite sport. And I used to spend every Sunday watching the Detroit Lions lose with my mother. And every Sunday, my mother would say, Damien, you could play for the Lions. I mean, you could play for the Lions. Now, I'm sure she meant it as an insult, but I took it to mean that my latent athletic ability meant that I could be a football player. So when they were discussing this at breakfast, my ears popped up and I said, are you guys gonna play football? And they said, absolutely. Now I need you to understand that the Klingons had made themselves into a fraternity and they all had nicknames.
So there was Oscar the Grouch, Beaver, Chew Toy, there was Dr. Detroit, and then there was Buddha. Now Buddha was 6'4 and weighed about 300, 325 pounds. He was a wrestler, had a 4.0 GPA, a theater major, and he sang tenor in the Magical Ensemble. This is what happens when you go to a liberal arts school. So I said, yeah, I want to play football, but are you guys playing real football? Now, I'm not an athlete, so the way I had gotten out of doing any athletics was telling everybody I wanted to play football. The way I had gotten out of playing football is that with a girl, most people want to play touch football or play flag or whatever. So when I said real football, they said, what do you mean? I said, I mean tackled. And the guys looked around and said, well, no.
And I said, well, if you're not going to play tackle, I'm not going to play with you. And they said, you want to play tackle? Yeah. They're like, all right. Meet us at the front lawn of the school in about 30 minutes. Turn your phones off. I go back to the dorm, change into my most fluffy, cushiest clothes, and I am excited because I've seen the Lions play. I know how to play football.
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