9 - Black Voices in Healthcare: Birth
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Why does the episode begin with the story of George Floyd and its connection to new life?
You're listening to The Nocturne's Black Voices in Healthcare. I'm Ashley McMullen. Three months ago on May twenty fifth, twenty twenty. George Floyd, a black man. was killed by police in Minnesota. Who kneeled on his neck? Until he took his very last breath. Today's episode is our last. So we wanted to take this moment to celebrate that even in the midst of so much death, somewhere life is just beginning. There's unspeakable anxiety that comes with bringing forth black life into a world that still sees black lives as expendable. But also universal love, beauty, and sense of hope. This week you'll hear stories that moved us about the excitements and fears of pregnancy. The mysteries of labor and childbirth, and the indescribable joy of hearing a baby's first cry.
Here's episode nine, Birth.
I found out I was pregnant with my first child on the same day I found out George Floyd was murdered by police in Minneapolis. That was just such a strange day because I was so happy. And so surprised Because I've been trying to get pregnant for a while and didn't expect to get pregnant in the middle of a pandemic. And um And then I watched the video and it was hard to be
How did the host discover she was pregnant on the same day George Floyd was killed?
happy or hard to reconcile those two realities. I work in the emergency room and I felt scared. The whole beginning few weeks just was surrounded by fear for me, Um there's so little known about covet in pregnancy and Um, the world just seemed like it was falling apart at this moment that I was My world was just starting. But I really thought I was having a girl. I just knew I was having a girl. So a few weeks later I got that NIPT, the blood test, and I was on the Long Island Railroad with my husband. And we were coming back from a short beach trip and Uh I got a call from the nurse to put her on speakerphone. It was kind of hard to hear 'cause we were on the Long Island Railroad She tells me all my tests came back normal, no trisomies.
And she said, Do you know what you're having? I said, I'm having a girl and she said, Uh hold on one second. I guess she went to go check 'cause I sounded so sure as if I already knew and she said, Um, it doesn't look like you're having a girl, you're having a boy. And My heart sank. I felt um really disappointed that I wouldn't have this female bond um with my child that I have, like with my mother and my sister and my nieces and I had no brothers, I had an absentee dad. So the only way I really understand family is with women. And growing up We should close. We cooked together, we walked around naked, really learned to love my body in that way. So Um when the nurse told me I was having a boy, that's the first thing I thought about actually was how am I gonna like have a naked house with my kid?
I feel like I'm just gonna lose that idea of what family is or I guess that idea of what family is has to change. Um and then We got off the phone with the nurse and My husband just like a howdy feel. He was pretty neutral about it, but I felt Kind of scared. To be pregnant right now and to be having a boy, a boy of color, is Част I'm mixed. I identify as a black woman and I'm mixed and my husband is white. And I suddenly had this thought of really I don't know what this kid is gonna look like. Will he look black? Will he look Dominican? Is he gonna pass for white? You know, just not knowing how the world will see him and how I mean really what I was thinking about is how police will see him. And how he'll see himself and me and
and um how he'll identify because being black is just such an important part of who I am. It's such an important part of who I am and I can't imagine not sharing that with my child.
What emotions surfaced when a nurse told the host she was having a boy instead of a girl?
And I started to cry and cry to my husband, my white husband, who's a really good man, but he just cannot understand Um Yeah, he just can't It's not his fault, but he can't understand. You know what it means to be a black woman in America in twenty twenty in the middle of all of this and be pregnant with a boy. A mystery boy. Могів сай. And I I'm kind of wishing he's one way or another, hoping that he looks black, but that feels like such a strange thing to say and it feels wrong one way or another to want
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
Why does the episode begin with the story of George Floyd and its connection to new life?
0:01–1:40
2
How did the host discover she was pregnant on the same day George Floyd was killed?
1:40–5:20
3
What emotions surfaced when a nurse told the host she was having a boy instead of a girl?
5:20–10:17
4
How did the host grapple with questions about her child's racial appearance and identity?
10:17–17:19
5
What was the mother’s experience delivering the host’s sibling during a pre‑eclampsia emergency?
17:19–40:27