A Taste of Home with Shaida Dusenge Kamali
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What is Shaida’s background and why did she come to the United States?
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You're listening to the Nocturnists, stories from the world of medicine. I'm Emily Silverman. Today we feature another story from the live show that we produced in New York City in November 2023. The theme of the show was Taking Care, and we produced it in partnership with Danielle O'Frey and Ashley McMullen of the Bellevue Literary Review. This storyteller is a medical student. Her name is Shaida Kamali and she came over to Oklahoma from Rwanda when she was in college to pursue her education. While Shida was in school, she learned some tragic and unexpected news, which is that her mother had passed away. And Shida ended up subsequently bringing over her 10-year-old brother from Rwanda and raising him in Oklahoma in the midst of pursuing her studies.
It's an incredible story about family, resilience, education, and of course, one of the most important aspects of home, food. After Shida's story, she and I sat down and talked more extensively about her journey from Rwanda to the US. We talk about how she spent a bunch of time hanging out with local moms in Oklahoma, which was awkward at first, but eventually amounted to a village of sorts who helped her raise her brother. We talk about how Shaida loves the TV show Modern Family and her work in the clinical lab, which eventually evolved to medical school and now Shaida thinks a career in geriatrics. But most special is that Shida and I have a chance to listen to an audio clip together that Shaida references in her story.
It's a clip from when Shida's mom was still alive, where Shida's mom joyfully explains the recipe for Shida's brother's favorite food, peanut curry. But first, let's take a listen to Shida's story, recorded live in New York in 2023. It's called A Taste of Home.
I mean my new apartment on campus and there's boxes all around me. I had to move in the middle of the school year. And in front of me is my brother's suitcase. He just arrived in Oklahoma from Kigali, Rwanda. As I open it to figure out what he brought with him. I can hear his footsteps running around. I moved because I needed a bigger apartment with one more room for him. He's gonna have a room of his own. And I adopted my brother because we recently lost our mother. When I open the suitcase, the first thing I see is these red shiny boots. I didn't know this guy likes red like that. So I set them aside and I look for shirts, shorts, socks. I find a couple of shirts, no socks. What's really taking place in his suitcase is this big bag of peanut flour, like ground peanut flour.
I take the bag, I shove it into the pantry. What am I supposed to do with that? He comes in running and he sees Shayda. We're on the third floor, I can take an elevator to my room. He's very excited. When we lost our mom, he didn't have anybody else, so I adopted him. He lost a home, so for the past few months he didn't have a home as I was trying to figure out his visa and paperwork. And now he feels like he finally has a home. He's excited. I'm not excited though, I'm really nervous. I don't know how to raise a kid. He's ten years old. I am twenty two. I am a senior about to graduate college. I don't know how middle school works in the US, especially in Oklahoma. I feel like when I lost my mom, I lost the foundation of my life and she encouraged me to study and get higher education.
How did Shaida discover she needed to care for her younger brother after their mother’s death?
I got a scholarship and came to the United States. But she's gonna miss all that. She wanted me to go to medical school and be a doctor. I don't even know I can do that now. I lost the foundation of my life, I feel like I'm in the air, and now I have this child that we have to land together. I take a deep breath. I get ready for his first day of school. A friend of mine takes him because I have to go to school before him.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is Shaida’s background and why did she come to the United States?
0:00–4:41
2
How did Shaida discover she needed to care for her younger brother after their mother’s death?
4:41–8:47
3
What challenges did Shaida face moving to Oklahoma and setting up a new home for her brother?
8:47–15:17
4
How did the Presidential Scholarship and university community help Shaida adjust academically and socially?
15:17–22:24
5
What was the process of obtaining a visa and bringing her brother to the United States?
22:24–28:29
6
How did Shaida balance night‑shift work, school, and parenting a middle‑schooler?
28:29–35:51
7
Why did Shaida decide to pursue geriatrics after her experiences as a caregiver?
35:51–43:10
8
What advice does Shaida give to listeners facing sudden life changes or loss?
43:10–51:15