Failure and Grace with mike Reid, MD
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What is the purpose of The Nocturnous Plus and how does it relate to today’s episode?
Hey everyone, I hope you're having a wonderful spring. In the spirit of renewal, I wanted to share something new that we've been working on. It's called the Nocturnus Plus, our new subscriber-only feed. With a subscription, you'll get access to the Nocturnous After Hours, a monthly bonus series featuring original conversations between me and our executive producer Ali Block. Along with discounts on our new merch and access to all of our episodes in one place. To give you a taste of what it's like, here's a clip from our very first After Hours episode, where Allie and I talk about the ups and downs of being the doctors in our own families.
It was my first experience where a healthcare provider was sort of using lines on me that I knew. So the biggest thing was he was trying to transfer my dad out of the neuro ICU. And I was trying to argue that he was not ready to go to the floor. And I'm sure you're very familiar with this line. This ICU doc said what we say to patients in the hospital all the time, which is, you know, it's really much safer for your dad to be somewhere else. He could get an infection, he could get a DVT. And I was just like, Don't pull that with me. I know those lines.
That's the Nocturnous After Hours. We're really excited to see how the series evolves. It's been really fun so far and would love to hear your ideas, questions, and suggestions along the way. If you want to join us in this new corner of our community, take a visit to thenocturnist.org slash plus. Subscriptions start at just $10 a month. And now on to today's episode.
At the Nocturnus, we are careful to ensure that all stories comply with healthcare privacy laws. Details may have been changed to ensure patient confidentiality. All views expressed are those of the person speaking and not their employer.
This is The Nocturnous. I'm Emily Silverman. Today's episode features Dr. Mike Reed, an infectious disease physician and global health leader whose work has taken him from the UK to Botswana to the front lines of HIV policy. Mike's story begins with a small moment from childhood. He's 11 years old watching his father attempt to paint the dining room when an accident leaves paint splashed across the carpet and furniture. Standing in the middle of the mess, his father quietly mutters a phrase that will stay with Mike for decades. I'm such a failure. Years later, while working as an HIV physician in Botswana, Mike finds himself facing a devastating moment with a young patient. In the aftermath, that same phrase comes back to him.
In my conversation with Mike, we talk about the emotional weight of global health work, the ways physicians internalize failure, and how medicine often asks us to keep showing up, even when the outcomes are far from perfect. But first, here's a clip from Mike's live story, which he told on stage at a Nocturne's Satellites event produced by the UCSF Institute for Global Health Sciences. Here's Mike.
I think I was eleven years old. We live in Highwickham, which is a small suburban town on the outskirts of London. And we live in a uh a nineteen seventies housing estate, kind of like the kind at the start of the Harry Potter movie. You know, uh red brick houses and neatly cut lawns, a a very English middle class sensibility to the neighbourhood. My mum is a nurse. She went back to work after all of us kids were in school and she is working a swing shift. So she'll be home tonight at probably around ten o'clock. Typically smelling of hospital antiseptic and instant coffee and And so that evening it's just me and my dad at home. And I'm watching TV and my dad says he's gonna paint the dining room. Now My dad is is many things.
He's a reader. a a luminous thinker. Um he's a church pastor, so he can quote Martin Luther King and Martin Lloyd Jones in the same breath, but he is not handy. He doesn't do DIY. So when he says he's gonna paint the dining room I should have known that something bad was about to happen. But I'm I'm watching T V and suddenly I hear from the dining room The scrape of a chair, a sudden thud, and then almost instantly the hollow splosh of emulsion paint hitting the carpet.
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Chapters
3 chapters
1
What is the purpose of The Nocturnous Plus and how does it relate to today’s episode?
0:00–11:13
2
How does Dr. Mike Reid’s childhood memory of his father’s “I’m such a failure” shape his view of failure?
11:13–32:58
3
What led Dr. Reid to pursue infectious disease and global health after his trip to India?
32:58–37:41