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The Offload

Referee Stories – THE DRESSING ROOM: Unlocked | The Offload

14 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What unique perspectives do Tommy and Donners share about refereeing?

12.012 - 15.017 Tommy Bowe

Tonica, welcome along to another episode of The Dressing Room.

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15.458 - 23.912 Donncha O'Callaghan

Yes, looking forward to it, Tommy. I enjoyed The Dressing Room because I think we're allowed to be a little bit freer. We're among friends, you know what I mean?

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23.932 - 28.2 Tommy Bowe

We're among friends, we are. And we thank you all, our friends, for joining us. Really, really, really appreciate it.

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28.22 - 36.754 Donncha O'Callaghan

It's like walking around your house in your jocks, you know what I mean? You just feel comfortable doing this. It's grand to be in here. There's no one we should do The Dressing Room in our jocks, just because we're at home.

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37.848 - 60.919 Tommy Bowe

Well, I'm not quite at home and I don't think it would be appropriate for me to wear my jocks where I am right now. But anyway, listen, let's not get into that before I get chased out of here. Listen, today we're going to go look at a few, reminisce on a few memories potentially of dealing with referees. Now, I'm going to caveat this, OK, because I was never a captain.

60.899 - 80.953 Tommy Bowe

Never, even under 12s, a captain of a team. Never dealt with a referee. Never spoke to a referee. Stood on the wing my whole career. Never did. The only people I dealt with were the touch judges. Yeah, of course. And that was more them just shouting at me to get offside. Tell them to get, tell number 12 to go offside. I'm like, I can't, they don't talk to me like I can't.

81.474 - 99.09 Tommy Bowe

So they're 80 metres away, sir. and they don't listen to me sir it's just me and you here man alright so I don't have great me and refs yeah yeah anyway listen you must have a right view because you were in the thick of it with a lot of referees at stages well I

99.07 - 120.241 Donncha O'Callaghan

I think it opens it up to the point. I think we're looking at the moment. Tyke Byrne just being announced as Munster's captain. And then Craig Casey stepping into that role. And it kind of spiraled out of that. Weren't we saying that some people are suited to leadership roles? And I think both of us would agree we're not. You know what I mean? In terms of... Genuinely, Tommy.

121.943 - 128.773 Donncha O'Callaghan

You have to... That is called the helicopter approach. But you've got to spot everything, don't you? If you're skipped.

Chapter 2: How do Tommy and Donners reflect on their experiences with referees?

154.692 - 156.195 Donncha O'Callaghan

I can't get enough of Star Bars.

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156.335 - 158.298 Tommy Bowe

You've said that before. It's so weird.

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158.318 - 163.828 Donncha O'Callaghan

It's like they're everywhere, man. They're on billboards and everything at the moment. Star Bars are having a movement.

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163.848 - 166.292 Tommy Bowe

I love a Snacks. The Snacks crisps.

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166.913 - 176.83 Donncha O'Callaghan

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, go back there. I don't think they're as tasty as they used to be. Maybe my taste buds have withered away.

176.87 - 188.747 Tommy Bowe

I like them when they melt on your tongue almost. And I kind of eat them by bits. I buy them on the motorway and they seem to last me ages. Them or McCoy's because I break them up.

188.727 - 193.274 Donncha O'Callaghan

What about skips, if that's the case? You know, those ones that kind of dissolve.

193.555 - 195.578 Tommy Bowe

Yeah. Kids love them. No, I'm not.

195.638 - 198.122 Donncha O'Callaghan

They feel like confession. A little bit.

Chapter 3: What insights do they provide on leadership in rugby?

301.311 - 320.423 Donncha O'Callaghan

Yeah, but the thing is, I'm not just saying that I could follow Trimby. I knew that, you know what I mean? Sorry, I'm going to be overly harsh, man. You'd X Factor fucking falling out your arse. You know what I mean? You could make something out of nothing. There was moments of times that I was there. Get up from scrums, man, and just look up and see you gone. And they're all what a freebie.

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320.403 - 338.505 Tommy Bowe

well I don't agree well kind of anyway listen whatever with that I do but I want to go back to what you're saying is actually it's the foot soldiers and there's no books ever written about there's nothing ever like a book written about how to be the perfect foot soldier it's all about how to be the Paul O'Connell and like People can't really become a poly.

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338.945 - 353.02 Tommy Bowe

I would have loved to be in a Brian O'Driscoll. I think there's certain people are just built to lead and don't give a fuck what people are saying around them. They just, you know, they have that aura about them and we just didn't have it. No, we didn't.

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353.34 - 363.15 Donncha O'Callaghan

But then, like, I actually think the environment is fueled by those people. Like, I remember Ian Dowling, like, when we were...

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363.13 - 381.578 Donncha O'Callaghan

bubbling along with Munster Dowling was like a cheerleader for training standards if you know what I mean he would go round and he'd be in your ear and you know the way there's some days there you're down the college farm you know what I mean it's November it's pissing rain it's freezing and Dowling's there to you

381.558 - 399.87 Donncha O'Callaghan

how good are we going to be today man he's pumping the energy around the place being like this energy bunny and in your head you're there like go away man don't be annoying me but then finishing chanting to him you're there like I'm going to go for him you know what I mean here I go and he sprints out onto the pitch flicks the ball up and he's away and you're like

399.85 - 403.941 Tommy Bowe

That's the sort of energy I need. You know, you chase that from them. Yeah, big time.

403.962 - 422.604 Donncha O'Callaghan

But then I always thought those were selfless acts, right? Because I do think you need to protect your leaders. We chat about the Rory's, the Paul's, the Johnny's, the Draco's. They've enough shit going on. They're actually, they're even dealing with stuff, you know what I mean, off pitch.

422.625 - 423.766 Tommy Bowe

That we don't even know about.

Chapter 4: How do personal relationships with referees impact gameplay?

560.079 - 569.413 Donncha O'Callaghan

If someone didn't like Bossy, you'd question him, wouldn't you? You'd be like, they're a bit off. It's a bit like John Hayes. If John Hayes doesn't like you, you're an asshole.

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570.473 - 573.918 Tommy Bowe

Jesus, I don't know where John Hayes is. He's a right ignorant fucker to me sometimes.

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574.318 - 578.044 Unknown

Actually, I just thought John Hayes doesn't like you. He's right. You are an asshole.

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578.084 - 596.97 Tommy Bowe

He doesn't like many. Well, it leads on to where we were meant to be talking about referees a little bit, because I'd say there's times for them. Like they have to be the people that bring the energy, you know, running out there, knowing they're going to be abused, getting a tough time, going into the change room. Like I used to have that, you know, some days and it's just...

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596.95 - 609.778 Tommy Bowe

You know, you're in Newport and the change room is about the size of the downstairs toilet and you're all trying to get changed on top of each other and the referee comes in with his assistants and he's there. Like, do they check the studs anymore?

610.045 - 620.076 Donncha O'Callaghan

Oh, I'm not too sure. Yeah, I remember that. Stud check, lads, and you'd all have to show them. Oh, there you go. And then you'd show the boots you're not wearing because you're 21s in because you want to look after your tight head.

620.476 - 623.459 Tommy Bowe

So what was it, 21s or 21 mils, is it?

623.499 - 642.79 Donncha O'Callaghan

Millimetres, either 18 which were legal or then 21s that were illegal. Like, who's going to fall out about three millimetres? And why would you be, they hardly have the ruler for that, do they? No, no, but you can just, you know by the look of them, yeah, definitely. And is that for scrummaging? Well, I would have found it handy for scrummaging, definitely. Would you have worn 21s?

643.311 - 659.678 Donncha O'Callaghan

I would definitely. If I was behind a tight head, I definitely would have worn 21s. If I was behind Marcus Horne, I would have worn slippers. Sorry, puppy. You don't get that joke. It means that I'm easy to go back, you fucking flooze. You know nothing about the front five of a rugby match.

Chapter 5: What are the challenges referees face during matches?

726.745 - 743.702 Donncha O'Callaghan

Sorry, he didn't know what to do with all the different color boots. He was there like, you can't get an orange or yellow or pink polish. You know what I mean? So they're just coming in to clean their boots. Whereas before there used to be dubbing and proper polish and there was a good smell in his room.

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744.424 - 755.143 Tommy Bowe

Like, I mean, there was a whole respect. But you used to have boots and they used to last so long at that stage. Yeah, that's true. Nowadays, lads are just getting to get free boots and just throw them out.

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755.583 - 760.472 Donncha O'Callaghan

Yeah, don't look at us turning into those two fellas. Back in our day, you'd have a boot that would last you...

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760.452 - 770.488 Tommy Bowe

I remember I was at one stage, Darce was with Puma and he wore a new pair of boots every game. No way. How bougie is that? That is incredible.

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770.508 - 778.06 Donncha O'Callaghan

Do you remember the kind of unwritten rule of if you were lucky enough to kind of get boots, you always kind of left a few in the room for the younger lads. You know what I mean?

778.741 - 779.342 Tommy Bowe

Oh yeah, did you?

781.065 - 782.427 Donncha O'Callaghan

You type...

783.2 - 792.229 Tommy Bowe

Oh, yeah, I did that. All right. Yeah. Remember, Darce had boots and one had South and the other said side on it. Ah, brilliant. And he's from Wicklow.

792.37 - 799.998 Donncha O'Callaghan

He's not even from Dublin. Didn't he have the frames or something? He had a band written on at one time, too.

Chapter 6: How do referees manage player interactions and emotions?

908.141 - 920.953 Donncha O'Callaghan

And like when you're sitting on your ass and on your couch, it seems ridiculous, doesn't it? You're there like, oh my God, this is awful. But when you're just about to go out for kickoff, if he doesn't, if he's not doing that, I'm there like...

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920.933 - 949.489 Tommy Bowe

you need to hit an emotional pitch to get ready to go I felt well I don't think they do anymore though I think that's all gone the whole emotion of it I'd love to be like that I remember one time being in the training room and I was I think it was with the Ospreys I think it was John Thomas but anyway we were all gearing up and everyone's in the huddle or whatever else and JT was standing underneath the frame of like the partition between the showers and the dressing room

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949.469 - 958.145 Tommy Bowe

And he's like, come on, boy. He suddenly jumped up into the air and literally smashed his head on the bottom of the wall and KO'd himself. Brilliant.

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958.826 - 962.412 Unknown

He's following the return to play.

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963.314 - 985.474 Tommy Bowe

And he was done. He was KO'd. He couldn't play. I don't think so. I think it was... Anyway, I just remember being in the huddle looking across going... Do you know the way you get to that level where I'm there reading the newspaper and I look across and laughing at him. Yeah, I didn't get that. Remember like Vickery even like in the change room with the Lions when he's headbutting the opposition.

985.614 - 1003.944 Donncha O'Callaghan

Oh Jesus, I'd hate that. I'd hate an old headbutt before you even go out. But there is funny moments like that, isn't there? When people do, like I remember John Fogarty, who's obviously legend in terms of his coaching ability, gone off on the lines. But when he played with us with Con, he was like, he is an awful messer.

1004.245 - 1026.7 Donncha O'Callaghan

And he, a bit like you, he saw the dressing room as an opportunity to have a bit of crack. So he'd say to me on the kind of Thursday, he'd be in for Frankie Sheehan playing hooker. And normally he'd play seven if we weren't. He was an unbelievable player, both as a hooker or a seven. But Frankie was out for a while and Foggs was going in hooking.

1027.121 - 1049.294 Donncha O'Callaghan

But he was there like, I'm going to quote Braveheart in the dressing room. And I'm there like, what? He was there before the match. I'm going to make a William Wallace bit of a speech, see if he can cop it. And like, you'd forget about it then. And then 10 minutes or five minutes before kickoff, you'd hear Foggs giving it to, lads, you've bled with Frankie for years. Will you bleed with me?

1049.735 - 1060.612 Donncha O'Callaghan

And like, you could see the lads buying in, kind of giving it to, yeah, Foggs, we got your back. And then he's winking over at me, kind of like, freedom.

Chapter 7: What memorable referee moments do Tommy and Donners recount?

1178.021 - 1194.943 Donncha O'Callaghan

I kept giving it to him. And it just led to this kind of awkward moment. And that would have been a kind of younger ref. But I remember the following week, we had Leicester in six ways. And Wayne Barnes was ref. And I could just tell he was going to do me. You know that way, double yellow equal to a red.

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1195.203 - 1220.762 Donncha O'Callaghan

One for not rolling away, one for bringing down a mole where there could have been any one of us. He was after you. Yeah, I always... Look, I know he's well-received and stuff, but I genuinely hated when he reffed us. I would rather, genuinely, I'd rather play Wales than have Nigel Owens reffing. Or I just found him really hard to manage.

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1220.822 - 1233.073 Donncha O'Callaghan

Not manage, that's wrong for me to say, but I just... We didn't hit it off, man. I just thought he was... And then socially great, you know what I mean? Away from it, which was frustrating again. Yeah.

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1233.357 - 1255.438 Tommy Bowe

He was definitely a referee that at times you look back and you're kind of thinking, yeah, he was almost trying to be, and Tiger Knight are almost, I don't know, sometimes, even I felt that with Knight, sometimes it was nearly trying to be your mate as well, going, ah, chin up, Tommy, penalty against you, or you didn't run away. And I'm like... I don't... Like, piss off, man. Yeah, yeah.

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1255.798 - 1257.08 Donncha O'Callaghan

There's fine balances in there.

1257.161 - 1274.046 Tommy Bowe

You know what I mean? Well, then, yes, exactly. Because then all of a sudden you're kind of like, well, actually, I want to have that... Like, it's a really tricky... I would hate to be a referee. Yeah, yeah, agreed. It's amazing, like, the guys who do it. And I think for the likes of Wayne Barnes, the abuse that he's had over the years. And as you say...

1274.026 - 1283.111 Tommy Bowe

maybe he did bring it on himself at times in certain ways. I don't know how, but he wouldn't have been Flavour of the Month with a lot of the teams he was reffing against.

1283.252 - 1288.105 Donncha O'Callaghan

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And look, we're not saying any of that should go on. You know what I mean?

1288.166 - 1288.226 Tommy Bowe

No.

Chapter 8: What lessons can be learned from the refereeing experiences shared?

1498.075 - 1515.32 Tommy Bowe

In crucial stages of matches, he had no problem making the tough decision. And sometimes he got it right, sometimes he got it wrong. And that must have been very difficult as him, if looking back on it, he got it wrong and it had a huge impact. Like, I even just think about it in 2009. Remember Paddy Wallace? Paddy Wallace.

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1515.38 - 1516.742 Unknown

But yeah, like...

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1516.722 - 1533.039 Tommy Bowe

But actually, so Paddy, for his testimonial, and he, because Wayne Barnes actually got in touch with Paddy and said, listen, mate, I'm really sorry. I actually got that wrong. You were right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were right there. And like Paddy wouldn't have been welcomed back in Ireland again.

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1533.059 - 1551.162 Donncha O'Callaghan

Oh, man. I remember seeing his face. It's an awful thing to say. But in that moment, right. I remember because I was under that. I was in that. I was there like, please don't be four. You know, all I was praying is don't have that. Don't. And he was there like Paddy. I was there. Oh, thank God. This is all on Walt.

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1551.182 - 1563.341 Tommy Bowe

Because this is like first Six Nations Grand Slam in 61 years. And Paddy comes on off the bench. Ulster player who probably didn't have the media 100% on his side as well.

1563.401 - 1564.703 Donncha O'Callaghan

I like what you're implying here.

1564.783 - 1570.793 Tommy Bowe

Go on the chips. It's absolutely true. And Paddy would have said that as well. What a player, man.

1570.773 - 1589.721 Tommy Bowe

came on and tried to have an impact went in for the poach and looking back on it Wayne Barnes has got in touch with him and said listen Matt you were actually right there but Wayne pinged him final minute of the game and Stephen Jones had that opportunity to get the kick if Stephen Jones had kicked that We would have still won the Six Nations, but we would have missed out in the Grand Slam.

1589.801 - 1607.749 Tommy Bowe

And I don't know if the players are Paddy. And Paddy actually says that he, even though we got it and we won for months and months after, he would wake up in a cold sweat. It really triggered and really impacted him massively.

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