How to Work with Difficult People (Without Losing Yourself)
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Why do people spend so much of their work life dealing with difficult coworkers?
This episode of the Oprah Podcast is presented by our partner, Geico. Statistics say chances are very, very, very, very high that there is somebody at work who
is driving you crazy. You're gonna spend 90,000 hours of your life at work. And what determines if somebody loves or enjoys their job is not often the job description. It's often the people that they have to work with. Some people are certified crazy and you cannot work with everybody.
So in your research, one of the things you found, I heard, was that nearly half of Americans quit their jobs, really, because of their boss. And you suggest what you call an expectations detox. I love this so much because I've done this many times in my life. This is so key.
Mike, you stop acting so shocked when people have a bad attitude or don't have the same preferences as you.
That right there, Ryan,
that's gonna help a lot of people.
Hi everybody and welcome to the Oprah podcast. And I thank you for joining us here. I'm I'm really so excited for you to meet my guest today because if you're listening or watching us and you are a working person, statistics say that the chances are very, very, very, very high, like 80% high, that there is somebody at work who is driving you crazy. And I I know just hearing me say that, that person just popped in your head right now. And maybe they have a toxic personality or they take credit for your ideas, or they're always just either snarky, condescending, or just annoying, or you found out that they talk stuff about you behind your back or they don't pull their own weight. It is frustrating and it is so annoying and I know
Because I have dealt with all kinds of working relationships from Fortune One Hundred boardrooms to professional locker rooms. Ryan Leek is a sought-after speaker and a best selling author. And his latest book, How to Work with Complicated People. Strategies, not just talking about it, but strategies for effective collaboration with nearly anyone. Offers it offers a better way to this is gonna help you start setting boundaries, like actually give you the words to set boundaries, to communicate, and also to detox at work. Because a lot of people just take it all home. Right. And even if you think you're surrounded by idiots. This book will work work for you. Welcome to the podcast.
Oprah, it is an absolute pleasure to be here.
What was going on in your own life that you knew you had to write this?
Ugh. Well, I I felt bad for my team. That has to work with me. And you know, traveling and speaking and working with companies all around the world and just having a phone and being on social media, I noticed a couple of things were happening in culture that I thought we needed some help with. Number one, uh I started to notice that we were given, especially over the last decade, I would say more polarizing subjects than ever before without the requisite emotional tool. to actually have discussions uh around these subjects. And so you started to see, especially online, subjects moving from us having a disagreement about something and it started to move into disrespect. Yeah. So you saw this incivility
Disrespect, disregard, name vitriol. Yeah, just it turned into a it turns into a thing.
A hundred percent. I mean, I think we've all had that moment. We were just watching it and going, It's getting worse. And so I think uh I've worked with a company, they have this framework where they say, Hey, this is how we have high stakes conversations. We have things that we will die for, we have things that we will defend, and we have things that we will discuss. Well, I started to see that a lot of the subjects that we were given, it was all hills to die on. Yes. Every comment sec it's like, well, I gotta have a take on this particular subject. Yes. It's like I don't think we have to have a take on every single subject. And so I wrote this book to say, Hey, how can we get off the hill? and quit trying to die on the hill and how can we have a cup of coffee and and have a discussion.
So that that was the first thing that was going on.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do people spend so much of their work life dealing with difficult coworkers?
0:01–8:16
2
What does Ryan Leak mean by an “expectations detox” and how can it help?
8:16–14:28
3
Which of the four strategies for handling complicated people works best?
14:28–19:45
4
How can you stay calm and respond in the moment when you’re triggered?
19:45–26:15
5
What role does generational difference play in workplace conflict?
26:15–33:09
6
How can leaders set the tone and create a culture where people want to show up on Monday?
33:09–38:20
7
Why is setting boundaries compared to doors with locks rather than walls?
38:20–44:21
8
What practical steps can listeners take right now to improve communication with difficult people?
44:21–49:16
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from The Oprah Podcast
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