435. The pain of outgrowing your old life
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What does it mean to outgrow your old life?
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Hello, everybody. I'm Gemma Speig, and welcome back to The Psychology of Your 20s, the podcast where we talk through the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. It is so great to have you here. You specifically, of course, back for another episode as we break down the psychology of our 20s. Quick reminder before we start, this episode you are currently listening to is also on Netflix worldwide.
How does nostalgia play a role in outgrowing your past?
wide as are actually all of our other episodes in video form. So if you are someone who prefers to watch your podcast or to have me kind of talking away in the background whilst you're cleaning at the gym, working from home, whatever it is, go and check out the link in the description and you can watch a full Netflix episode. Let's get into it. We're going to begin this episode with a hear me out. Hear me out. The best part of being in your 20s is realizing you are not the person that you once were. The worst part is realizing once more that you can never be those people again, no matter how hard you try or how much you want to go back. It is probably the most bittersweet feeling of this decade. The pain of outgrowing your old life.
Sweet because you're evolving. You're stepping into probably a more mature life. concrete, self-aware version of you bitter because part of growing up is having to say goodbye over and over again to certain things that represented who you once were and just kind of hoping that the next chapter is better.
What are the signs that you've outgrown your old life?
This happens, this feeling, this when we graduate college or university. I remember graduating and there being this like deep sadness that, you know, I'm never going to live next door to my friends ever again. I'm never going to have those same moments and nights where you're like getting to know people for the first time and like everything is shiny and new and not that serious. And like your whole job is just to study. Like I'd never get to relive this exactly as it was. That's a big one for many people.
How can grief be connected to personal growth?
It can also happen when we break up with somebody, you know, you're grieving this old version of you, you're grieving the life you thought you'd have and it kind of disintegrates very quickly. Same with when we quit jobs, when we leave cities, when we lose friends, even loved ones. But the pain of outgrowing your old life also happens a lot more quietly as we kind of realize like, hey, wait a second, I'm not who I was six months ago or two years ago or five years ago. Is that a good thing or is that a bad thing? Today, we are going to explore that feeling for a second. the pain of outgrowing your old life, why it hurts psychologically, why the pain is perhaps a good thing in a strange way, and how to just lean into this constant evolution of the self that we're going to experience time and time again.
And I guess not cling on too tightly to the past and miss out what will hopefully be an absolutely incredible, amazing future for you. So Yeah, there's so much to cover. There's a lot of psychology. There's a lot of concepts in this as well. So as always, let's get into it. Let's start with this. What are some clear signs, or maybe actually less than clear now that I think about it, but signs nonetheless that the life you used to have and love and feel safe in is now one that you've outgrown? Firstly, there is the very obvious fact that you know you've outgrown your old life because there has been a notable change, transition, change. major life event that has rapidly shifted timelines for you. We mentioned a few at the beginning but some other big ones that we experience in our 20s are like things like grief, losing your job, having a big maybe quite scary health change, health scare, even positive things like a new job, starting a new relationship, getting married.
There's a feeling that everything's changed and there's a recognition of like okay I've crossed over a certain threshold that now
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does it mean to outgrow your old life?
0:00–0:52
2
How does nostalgia play a role in outgrowing your past?
0:52–1:57
3
What are the signs that you've outgrown your old life?
1:57–2:33
4
How can grief be connected to personal growth?
2:33–6:05
5
What are the seven stages of outgrowing your old life?
6:05–10:26
6
How does acceptance influence the process of change?
10:26–13:05
7
What strategies can help embrace change positively?
13:05–15:14
8
How can gratitude coexist with feelings of loss?
15:14–33:51