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Chapter 1: Why is my husband not contributing to our finances?
Chapter 2: Is it wise to borrow money to buy a business?
Um, I just felt head over heels in love with him. Um, I knew he was broke. I knew he didn't have any money and that, that just didn't matter to me. He was just so nice to me and I loved being treated nice. So, um, we got married. Um, I did have him sign a prenup because I was, uh, expecting to inherit a large amount of money from my parents' estate at some point.
I hadn't at that time, but, um, I knew that that would be in the future. And, uh, So he did sign a prenuptial agreement and didn't have any problems with that. Um, however, I started our relationship with just paying all the time. I paid for everything. We'd go out for dinner. I would pay. Um, I already had a place where I lived that I paid for and, uh, you know, et cetera, et cetera.
So I, I understand how I've kind of set a pattern. Um, and at the time it didn't bother me. And, you know, I might want, I also want to add this man's Christian man. He knows the word of God. Um, I really have put this in God's hands and asked for his help. But I just can't figure out why there's no spirit of generosity with him. I've brought up several times, can you please pitch in?
Just kick in. I don't expect half and half. I have plenty of money. I don't need his money. It's just on principle. I just need to know that I'm not just the only one that's supporting us. I feel like I'm, I'm the breadwinner.
He doesn't earn an income.
He, he did. We are both retired now. Um, he does not have any retirement. I'm 60. He's 64. Um, he took, uh, he took social security early. He was working at that time. And then, um, When you start taking Social Security, you can only work so many hours. You can only make so much money. So that knocked his availability down to where he really couldn't work very much.
But since then, we've both retired and relocated.
So what do you feel like the core question is?
I think I'm just trying to figure out if I'm being taken advantage of. Is this just something where I'm being... You know, I've brought something up several times and I just, nothing changes, nothing, it just stays the same. And I don't know if I, well, I guess what my next step should be.
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Chapter 3: How can I manage working long hours effectively?
Chapter 4: What should I do about my shame after bankruptcy?
Chapter 5: How can I handle being scammed online?
Chapter 6: Should I propose while in debt?
So I, I understand how I've kind of set a pattern. Um, and at the time it didn't bother me. And, you know, I might want, I also want to add this man's Christian man. He knows the word of God. Um, I really have put this in God's hands and asked for his help. But I just can't figure out why there's no spirit of generosity with him. I've brought up several times, can you please pitch in?
Just kick in. I don't expect half and half. I have plenty of money. I don't need his money. It's just on principle. I just need to know that I'm not just the only one that's supporting us. I feel like I'm, I'm the breadwinner.
He doesn't earn an income.
He, he did. We are both retired now. Um, he does not have any retirement. I'm 60. He's 64. Um, he took, uh, he took social security early. He was working at that time. And then, um, When you start taking Social Security, you can only work so many hours. You can only make so much money. So that knocked his availability down to where he really couldn't work very much.
But since then, we've both retired and relocated.
So what do you feel like the core question is?
I think I'm just trying to figure out if I'm being taken advantage of. Is this just something where I'm being... You know, I've brought something up several times and I just, nothing changes, nothing, it just stays the same. And I don't know if I, well, I guess what my next step should be.
Hold on, this isn't a money issue, this is a respect issue. You don't respect the man that you're married to. Because, like, I bring home... I bring home a quote unquote income to the house, but my wife, my God almighty, if she disappeared, the house would go away. So I don't look at her and say, wow, you're not contributing to this thing.
And I'm paying for dinner all the time because my money is our money. Right. And the home that she keeps and runs and her small business, like that's ours too. But there's a mutual respect there. So this doesn't have to do with money. And you mentioned earlier that, You don't want a thing. You don't want your marriage to be where you're paying for everything. It is. That is the world you set up.
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Chapter 7: What steps can I take to improve my financial anxiety?
So the only thing you can do from this point forward is to create something new. But this is a respect issue. This isn't a, I just need him to pitch in issue. Have you been very clear about what you need or has it been a, ah, you know, like, man, I sure am paying for a lot. And he might be thinking, well, it's our money. Have you been very clear with him?
I'm not, no. I'm very afraid of confrontation. I get very nervous about talking about something like this.
And then you end up in resentment land because you spend a ton of time having imaginary conversations in your head, don't you?
Yes. Oh, I do.
That's cruel and unfair to him.
And doubt.
Yes. So if you're going to be mad at him... Kind of hard on your brain, too. Yeah. If you're going to be mad at him, he at least...
deserves to know what he could do give him a path back to relationships right now he married somebody with a lot of money and he might think he's fulfilling his duties as your husband by being the fun loving guy that just whatever whatever partridge in a pear tree he needs to know you don't respect him yeah
I do love him, and I don't want anything to end.
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