Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, George Campbell, number one bestselling author, Ramsey personality, and co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Nicole is in San Francisco. Hi, Nicole. How are you?
Hey, good morning. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to you. What's up?
I just have a question, a rental question. My fiancé and I have been together for almost three years, and we're getting married at the end of December. We're very excited. And after the wedding, we're planning on moving in together, obviously. The home that he's living in is a home that he actually lived in with his aunt. So his ex's name, I just found out recently, is still on the lease.
Again, it is a rental. He's tried multiple times to get her to take her name off. He even had a court order via some of their custody hearings that the judge said she had to take her name off. She still refuses to do so. His property management company isn't being responsive. I'm a realtor and I spoke with our property management division and they said that basically we have three options.
One, the property management company can just out of the goodness of their heart, take her name off and redo the lease with just his and my name. Two, get her to sign the paperwork, which she's been trying to do unsuccessfully. Or three, terminate the lease, likely forfeit the deposit because her name would be on the check and then move out and move back in.
The dilemma that I have right now is that it feels really, really gross to me to start a marriage and move into a home with this ex's name on it. Mind you, they also have a child together. There's a lot of really gross custody situation going on. So it's not just an ex that we never hear from or speak to. It's an ongoing situation. problem in our life.
And I just, I don't know if it's worth, am I being dramatic in like the potential issues financially and like losing deposit?
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Chapter 2: What financial dilemma does Nicole face before moving in with her fiancé?
Well, it was up and he's, he's continued to live in the home. So they broke up.
No, I mean, when is the current, when does the current lease expire?
It, it's a month to month now.
Oh, okay. So you can give 30 days notice and move out.
We could. Okay. And then we would have to find a new place.
Yeah, then you just find a new place. That's easy. Okay. Now, however, let's back up a second. She does not have a say in this. Okay. Her name being on the lease is making her obligated for the payment on the lease. It doesn't give her any rights to possession whatsoever.
OK, it's just it's just like if if if someone co-signs a lease for you to move in, like your dad signed for you to move in or something, it doesn't give him rights to live there. It just says that he's also liable. And so the property management company can simply redraft the lease and take her name off of it. They don't have to have her permission to do that. They can just take her off. Okay.
And put you on. And so, you know, what I would do is just call the property management company. And I don't know why your fiance's not handled this. This is really bizarre to me. This is on him. Okay. And you're right. This is gross. And it should have been dealt with a long time for you. Three weeks before you get married. Jeez. Call me up a week for it.
We're going down the aisle next week and I'm not going to, well, yeah. So, but anyway, so if it's me, I'm calling the property management company. I'm your fiance. And I'm saying, look, I want my wife to be on our lease, not my ex.
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Chapter 3: What options does Nicole have regarding her fiancé's ex on the lease?
Right.
Okay. But you don't need her permission or a court order regarding her. The landlord simply just needs to agree to release her from liability. Okay. She gets no rights.
There's no rights here at all. And she hasn't lived there in a long time. And so I don't know why it would even be an issue. Right. Yeah, I don't know. That's just the...
Well, apparently this chick has got issues, and she's throwing anything she can around to try to do power plays, any kind of a flex that's possible, and you're just worried about that, right?
Right, and yeah. Right. And again, it just feels gross moving in.
Yeah, you don't want to show up in a house that I live in. It's not going to be good for your health. Don't do that.
What's the upside of continuing for him to live there and you to move in there? Why not just get a different place? Well, as you know, San Francisco is a very expensive market. He has rent of very, very, very little. The property manager, the landlord, was very gracious. They have not raised the rent in like the four or five years he's lived here.
It's thousands of dollars less than anywhere else.
Well, I don't want to live there. I just wonder even with her name off the lease. And I don't care if it's thousands of dollars less or not. I don't want to live there unless her name is off this lease and yours is on it. Right.
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Chapter 4: How does Dave Ramsey advise Nicole to handle her fiancé's ex?
Hi, Rachel. How are you? Rachel? Earth to Rachel. Rachel, three, two, one.
Oh, we had her right there.
There she was. Okay, I'll try her again. She came up. We'll try it again. Rachel, are you there now?
Yes, I'm here.
Okay, how can we help?
I'm actually calling because how do I even start the baby steps when I am absolutely drowning and even trying to get caught up on my bills?
Well, getting caught up would be the first step before you start the baby steps. You're right. You're on to something there. So why are you drowning?
I actually had some health issues over the past year. I've missed so much work. I've had to find another job because I believe my last job was killing me. And that required a pay cut. And I'm working from home now. And it's just getting caught back up.
Okay, well you've got the exact wrong solution for being behind on your bills, taking a pay cut. We want to go the other way. So what in the world? What's wrong with your health?
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Chapter 5: What steps should Nicole and her fiancé take moving forward?
Yeah. So you're not going to like me. Sell the truck, sell the Jeep, sell the boat. Okay. Oh, I'm starting to get my life back now.
I mean, you'd clear the majority of your debt if you did that. What stopped you guys thus far from getting rid of these things that are crushing you? I will say the boat. That is all we do.
I don't care. I think you should be working instead of boating. You're calling me talking about you're so stressed out you can't breathe and you're $120,000 in debt. You can't afford a boat. You're broke. Go to the park and throw a Frisbee. Yeah. You're not going to do any of this, are you? You're not really ready. You're not really in enough pain to fix this. You just you want an easy button.
I don't have one, honey. The only button I got is the one that'll work. I love you enough to tell you the truth. And the truth is you got to sell this crap. You've been spending like you're in Congress and you're rationalizing and justifying and rationalizing and justifying. And only when you look up and go, I caused this and I can fix this or you're going to be able to fix it.
I can tell from the tone of your voice you're not going to do any of it. So when you're ready to be helped, we can help you. And we love you and we'll try to help you. But we're not going to tell you what you want to hear. We're going to tell you what really helps. And so we're really not known for telling people, making people feel good. That's not the point.
We want you to feel good at 10 years from now, not today. Today I want you to have pain so that you can get free of this trashy life you have. Your life sucks. You make $110,000 in Columbia, South Carolina, and you gave up a job because of anxiety at the office. And really the anxiety was at home, sitting in the driveway. with a boat and a Jeep and a truck. That's where it was.
So yeah, you, you just got a bunch of crap you can't afford. You're, you're living like, you know, you're spending like you got money and you don't have any money. I'm sorry, honey, but we can help you when you're ready to do that, but you're going to have to amputate some crap and that'll give you your life back until you're ready to do that though. I don't have an easy button for you.
I can't help you. Kevin is in New York. Hey Kevin, what's up? Hey, how's it going? Better than I deserve. How can I help? I was just looking for some help.
I'm married, 33, and I'm having some trouble with the fear of kicking Murphy out, as you guys would say.
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Chapter 6: What was the couple's turning point in their financial journey?
Dave-ish. And then we had our never again moment, which we had $12 in our bank account. We weren't going to get paid for about a week.
And we were, we were looking through our couches, looking for change and basically living on beans and rice.
Yeah. Got paid. Um,
Chapter 7: How did infertility impact their financial decisions?
Did a baby step, did our first baby step number one, $1,000, and we never looked back. We paid off about $85,000 in a car and student loans. Oh, good. At that point. So we got rid of all our consumer debt. And then after that, we decided that we're going to move to, we were living in New Jersey at the time, and we decided that we're going to move to Altoona, Pennsylvania. Yeah.
Now, during all of this, we really struggled with infertility. So we purchased our house. We put a really nice down payment on it. And then we adopted embryos during that time. Oh, wow. We cash flowed everything. We cash flowed everything. Wow. And our three littles are sitting right here and are a testament to that.
I love it.
Chapter 8: What strategies helped them stay motivated during their debt repayment?
Very cool. That's awesomeness. Proud of y'all. About as good a use of money as I can think of. Absolutely. Well done. Good for you guys. That's so powerful. How's it feel to be 34 years old and completely debt free?
It feels so good.
It's awesome. It's awesome.
Very freeing.
It's doable. It is. What do y'all do for a living? I actually just got promoted. I'm the chief financial officer of a small startup in health care.
And I'm a social media coordinator.
All right. Good for you. And a lot of mom.
Yes.
Three littles running around.
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