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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broken. Common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Jade Warshaw, number one best-selling author and Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225.
The call is free, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. Chris is going to start us off in Chicago. Hey, Chris, how are you? I'm doing well. Good. What's up?
So about 12 years ago, I used gambling as a coping mechanism, and what was a social thing became an addiction. After about 10 years, I realized that, or after two years, I realized the trouble I was in. And I tried to fix it on my own. It didn't go particularly well. My wife discovered my gambling about eight years ago, so two years after that. And I did do the work.
It was a traumatic and absolutely brutal situation for her to be in because all the, as you know, My confession took the load off of me, but it just put it squarely on her shoulders. Now, I did the work. I was already in the process of wanting to undo what I had done. I just wasn't at the place where I trusted the Lord to help me save my family. And so I didn't confess it to her.
When it finally came out, I did the work. I spent a year and a half. I paid off all the debt. I put a significant sum in a savings account that she only had control over. Therapy every week, GA. And it got to a point where even my therapist said, you know, I think you're in a good place with the gambling. I don't think you need my therapy for that. but I'm willing to help you with my marriage.
And so what has happened is I've regained the trust in the financial aspect of things. And now I have kind of controlled my money. We have two separate accounts. But what has happened is the damage that was done to the relationship has just put up such a significant wall that the things I
I now want to do with giving and just being a steward with the grace that God has given me in my finances, everything on that aspect is completely separate. If I try to bring her into some of that of what I am doing or how I'm investing or saving or giving, her response will be, Do what you want with your money.
And so for the sake of peace in our household, that is not something I'm going to demand of her. So it's been about seven years of me being clean.
You've been dry seven years? You've been sober seven years? Wow. Yes.
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Chapter 2: How did gambling addiction impact the speaker's marriage?
Okay. Are y'all seeing a marriage counselor?
We tried it. We've tried it a couple times, and she absolutely doesn't want to have anything to do with it. So I understand that until the Lord softens her heart towards me, that that's not something I can, I can't change her. So what I'm trying to figure out is without imposing on her and the resistance to any type of reconciliation in our marriage right now,
How can I – I'm not sure how to proceed with some of the things that – the only debt we have is our house.
Well, it's hard to proceed with a life when you don't have a marriage anymore, you have a roommate. Oh, absolutely. And it's hard to visualize a future – A unified future when there's not a unified current. And so, you know, and so, I mean, the language that you're using around this is all correct.
If what you're really acting out follows the conversation that we've been having with you for the last four minutes, it's all very clear.
Are there kids?
Two.
How old are they?
Two young boys. I'll say preteen.
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Chapter 3: What steps did the speaker take to regain trust?
And the question was... I know my parents, they won't try to pay me back. Although they will try to pay me back, but I won't, you know, request them to pay me back. But I was thinking about getting a loan to try to assist them for the 24 taxes. How much is due for the 24 taxes?
$27,000. $27,000 what? $1,000. $27,000?
Lord. Night. Okay. Yes.
How much for $25,000?
Yeah, I'm not sure.
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Chapter 4: How can financial decisions affect relationships post-addiction?
I'm not sure about the $25,000. But she was trying to make sure and take care of the $27,000 now because that is the most important thing, which is for $24,000. What else about their financial history? How much are they earning every month or every year, do you know? Yeah, so I would say mother probably brings around $130,000. Uh-huh. Father probably right at $90,000.
So there's no reason they shouldn't be paying their taxes.
Why is she not setting aside money for her 1099 income?
So, yes, she was paying them quarterly. But not enough. Yes, not enough. So what happened, a late 1099 came in. No, that's not what happened.
That would have to be some big... The 1099 came in and she knew the money had already come in. So the money, the fact that she had this income is not a surprise. That's bull crap. You follow me? You don't get a 1099 for $100,000 you didn't know was coming because you have the $100,000. Okay. So this is what's scaring me is that this is going to go on and on and on and on and on.
We don't know if they've gone to the root of this and fixed it or not. Because 1099s just don't fly in the window without the money having already come a year before.
Is this a brand new business or has she been doing this for a while? Ever since she retired. Okay.
Which was when? Probably three, four. Okay. So she's never paid her taxes right is what we're saying.
Yeah, I think this is compiling. Yeah, she had. So 23 from there is all fine. It was just that it moved to 24.
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Chapter 5: What financial advice is given to John about buying a car?
What's up? Well, I'm 22 years old.
I'm graduating college in May, and I want to buy a car, but I'm not sure if I can afford it. Okay. All right. Well, how much money do you have, and how much do you want to spend on the car? So the car is $13,000, and I have about $11,000 in cash. But I do have some savings, some investments, about $40,000. as well as, you know, $9,000 in a Roth IRA. What do you make?
So I'm going to be graduating in three months, and when I graduate, I'll make about $65,000 a year. Doing what? Going into the wholesale insurance industry. Okay.
Chapter 6: What are the potential risks of maintaining an old Mercedes?
And you've already secured that job? Yes. Okay, cool, cool, cool. I mean, if you're going to be making 65, you're under our rule and you're paying cash for it. I don't necessarily have an issue with that. What's going to be your living situation? I'm just going to keep living with my parents and maybe help them pay off the mortgage. Now, that's the part that I have an issue with.
Tell me about why you would continue to live there. I'm assuming you don't have any other debt. Am I wrong? is because they only live about 30 minutes from where I'll be working. And I'd rather start saving up money before getting a place of my own. You may have cut out when I asked you about the debt. Do you have any other debt?
I have no debt.
You have no debt.
You have $40,000 in savings.
$65,000 income and a brand new car. Why do you got to live at home? This is your time to strike out.
Really?
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Chapter 7: How can John effectively manage his savings and living situation?
Right after I graduate? Oh, absolutely.
Yes, it's the best time. The most exciting time.
It'll help your dating life, too.
Yeah.
Oh, wow, I'll bet. Yeah, girls are not as exactly attracted to guys who live in their mother's basement.
Wow. It's true, you know. It's okay to pull money out of my investments, even though about half of it, $20,000, is capital gains.
What do you need to pull? Go back, go back, go back. $2,000? $2,000? Right, but I need some money to live on. What is the car you're wanting to buy? So it is a 1999 Mercedes SL500. No, I would not buy that car.
Oh, come on.
No. And here's why. The car is absolutely stone-cold fabulous. I love the car. The maintenance on that car for a guy in your situation is absurd. maintaining that old Mercedes is going to cost you a freaking arm and one of your legs. It's going to destroy you, man. You're going to wish you had never seen that car. Let me tell you, it's serious eye candy, though. I'm with you.
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Chapter 8: What strategies are suggested for dealing with debt and planning for the future?
Can you tell I've owned a Mercedes or two or six or 20? I mean, I've had a bunch of them, and there's a lot of cost to keep the thing rolling. Get you something that doesn't cost anything to maintain that is going to be just as much fun, and that would be a newer model, similar price range of something that doesn't require constant stinking maintenance. Okay.
That's an old man joke, man, but it's the truth.
So we've just told you to do the two things, not to do the two things that you called on here wanting to do, which is buy the Mercedes and live at your parents' house.
What are the odds you do either one of them, John?
Okay.
I will. I will. Don't worry. Okay. All right. So, yeah, I think if you had a fun car that was very highly reliable and requires almost no maintenance, that is $10,000 to $15,000 and you pay cash for it. And you make a 90 day plan to move out from mom and dad after you get started in your job and you're actually making the 65 K. I think that's a great plan.
And that's what I would tell my own son to do. Okay. Buy something that doesn't require maintenance. Man, I tell you, that's a great car, though.
I don't know anything about the car. I just Googled it to see what it looked like. Yeah, classic. It was classic. I think it's a beauty. Yeah, classic.
It's a good old-looking Mercedes, and it's great, but it doesn't matter. Every time I take the thing to shop, it's just a dead gun, man. It's unbelievable. And so they are not easy to maintain. Well, they're not cheap to maintain. And the fact that you buy a cheap car, but then you're having a high maintenance bill. Right.
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