Life Is Complicated. Money Doesn't Have To Be.
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How should newlyweds handle one partner’s $75K debt—combine finances or keep it separate?
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Normal is broken. Common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined by Jade Warshaw. We're taking your calls at 888-825-5225. Max is in Boston to kick us off. What's going on, Max? Hey, how's it going? Great, man. How can we help you?
Yeah, I'm just, I'm recently married. My wife came into the marriage with some debt and I'm just kind of trying to figure out who should be paying it.
Oh, juicy. I like this. Okay, what does she think?
So she actually wants to take on the debt. But my concern is it's just like, I don't think she's going to get anywhere out of the debt anytime soon, which I'm not a huge fan of. How much is it? So she's got about $75,000 in debt. All student loans? So a little over $10,000 is in a car, and then the rest is student loans, 14 of that being a bed, and then the rest are private.
Oh, wow. Okay. What's she earn?
So right now she's bringing in, if she doesn't work any overtime after taxes, after, you know, investing in retirement and she's in a union and, you know, paying those dues, it's about $4,000.
And what do you make?
So after taxes, I bring in $5,000 in my salary, and then I'm in sales. And so I make commissions. Some months good, some months not really, but I average it out. And after taxes, investment in retirement, all that stuff, I make on average about $6,200 in commission a month.
So what other things do you plan to keep separate from your wife in marriage?
Um, like not, not really anything. Like we're kind of in that process of like trying to figure out how to combine finances. And like when I saw that dad, I'm like, okay, should I help take that on? But then. She kind of wants to take it on because she doesn't want to like make me feel responsible for it.
Well, it sounds like based on your decision, based off of what you said when you answered that question, it sounds like the decision is made. Because if you said to me, well, Jay, there are a couple of things I'd like to keep separate. I like to keep my work separate or I like to keep my, you know, whatever. This might be a different conversation. But you said, I don't plan on keeping anything separate. So that tells us the answer, which is we definitely need to combine this. you definitely see marriage as a we thing, not an individual thing, or at least, you know, pieces to be individual. And so I think that's a great framework to start with. And maybe that's the conversation that you have with her to help her understand that it's not a negative thing or it's not a weak thing or unfair thing for her to approach this as a we together with you.
Yeah, yeah, no, no, I think that makes sense. And I think that's a good first step.
It just puts some perspective around it. If you go to her and say, OK, it sounds like you're wanting to do this debt thing separately. Is there anything else you plan on keeping separate from me? I think she's going to go, oh, I get it. I see.
Yeah. Yeah. I think I think she might want to keep it separate. I don't know if she just doesn't want. me fully looking into like how she budgets and how she, how long you guys are married.
You're looking at everything, bud. Yeah. I mean, it's the very least. So Max, you're in Boston. Have you been through a Boston winter yet? Yeah, I've been up here my whole life. Yeah, I grew up there for the first 20 years of my life, and I would see my dad out there shoveling the snow. We had a steep driveway, and it was back-breaking work. And what would my mom do? She'd go out and help him. Now, it's not her—she didn't cause the snow, right? But she sees him hustling out there, sacrificing, and goes, we're a team. Why don't we get this thing done way faster? So instead of taking three hours to shovel, it gets done in one hour. The same is true of this pile of debt. She can try to do this on her own and it'll likely take seven years and she's going to resent you secretly without ever telling you.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
How should newlyweds handle one partner’s $75K debt—combine finances or keep it separate?
0:04–5:36
2
Is taking on $3.5M to start a chicken farm ever a smart business move?
5:36–37:21
3
Should we pay off debt or save for infertility treatment—how to prioritize Baby Step 2?
37:21–1:03:37
4
How do you use the debt snowball to pay off multiple loans fastest?
1:03:37–1:07:23
5
What’s the best way to use an inheritance to honor a loved one while attacking student debt?
1:07:23–1:16:03
6
Should I sell a motorcycle to speed up debt payoff before marriage?
1:16:03–1:23:00
7
How should couples prioritize paying off debt, emergency funds, and investing?
1:23:00–2:05:53