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What are the financial expectations among family members?
I have a sister, before she even said I do, leading up to the wedding, she said, I will get pregnant immediately. Like, I expect you to set up my baby registry.
I want you to help me buy the car seat. I want the stroller. And what did you do? We're a little stressed out. What is a completely irrational fear that you have?
I don't drive behind the big tractor trailer trucks that have all the cars loaded on it. I really do have a fear that I am going to be convicted of murder.
My adult son moved back home. We are charging him roommate rent. Do we return it to him? Wait, really y'all? He's a dadgum crone man.
How old is he?
31.
Normal is broke and common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network, brought to you by Fairwinds Credit Union, live from Phoenix, Arizona, this is The Ramsey Show. Yes! So good to be in this room. What a beautiful crowd, a loud crowd, and we're ready to go. We're ready to learn from each other. So let's get it started. First question up is Courtney. Give Courtney some love. There she is. What's your question?
Well, first, thanks for having me. I'm kind of nervous. I'm very excited. Okay, my question is... It's kind of embarrassing. But my husband and I have combined our incomes. We've only been married for about five years.
And I find I'm having a hard time with resentment sometimes, because I make a little bit more money, but he likes to spend the money. So I know it's right biblically. It's been great for us to combine our incomes, but I'm just wondering what steps I can do to change my heart on this issue and like not struggle with that resentment, if that makes any sense. Is he in the room? He's not in the room.
No, he's at work.
He's at work. Making some money.
Yeah.
When you say overspend. Exactly. He's working, making money. When you say he's spending more, what does that look like? Give us an example. Is it he's just running over to the gas station and buying a Mountain Dew and Corn Nuts or he's buying golf clubs? What does it look like? Um, I know it's probably more like, like to him, like we have the every dollar app and everything.
And so we've made, you know, line items and some of that, you know, we have to kind of figure out like what goes where, but we have like a general one for Amazon. So for him, he's like, Look at all that money in the Amazon.
I'm just going to get socks and shirts. And you know what? My truck needs this. Well, there's your problem.
I know. You've got to change that line item.
So I think part of that is like we're trying to... Well, and what started this was I said something really snarky about a week ago, and we got in a big fight about it. And we ended up working it out. But part of that was trying to figure out, I think, maybe... how to differentiate that. You need to. A little bit more.
Well, wait a second. Is he going over the Amazon budget or is he just spending it all on himself before you get a chance to get in there?
That's it right there. Boy, this guy should have been here tonight. But in his defense, it's not resentful. He's just like... there. I'm getting myself a shirt.
Well, that's my next question. Is he on board with the baby steps and your goals? Yes. Yeah. He was a little bit reluctant, but once we started doing the plan and seeing, you know, the benefit to us in terms of like, oh wow, you know, we can really put money towards retirement and we can do all these things.
You know, we paid off our debt and you know, all these things, it's been really great.
Do you have separate fun money line items in addition to the Amazon catchall? We do. I, Listen, if it were me, I would just break it up. Because right now it just says Amazon. Is it for household items and he's using it for fun things? Or it literally is just to your heart's content on Amazon as long as you stay in that line item. And that's part of it. We haven't really delineated what it's for. I would break that up, bust it up immediately.
Okay.
Because if he's using it as fun money, that lets me know maybe his fun money needs to be bumped up.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What are the financial expectations among family members?
0:05–5:23
2
How can couples address resentment about income differences?
5:23–14:01
3
What steps can be taken to create urgency about debt?
14:01–52:46
4
How can vulnerability strengthen relationships?
52:46–53:06
5
What are the challenges of discussing finances with family?
53:06–53:54
6
How do I navigate feelings of isolation while achieving financial goals?
53:54–54:51
7
What advice can I give my younger self about money and life?
54:51–1:46:04